Leave her in peace or persue her?

splendid101

Hi,

So I met a girl on Friday night, then met her again on Saturday. Obviously a bit of passion and attraction there, great.

I emailed her on Monday. No reply that day, or Tuesday. Grand.

I expected something back the first day so a little annoyed/paranoid/scared it's all finished with. Then I get to thinking maybe I got her email address wrong (knowing deep down I didn't but clinging to vague hope).

Drop her a text on Wednesday, today, early. No reply all day to the text or email.

If she doesn't want to see me or talk to me ever again I'd be disappointed but I can accept that, it happens. But I'd like her to say that she doesn't want to see me, not just ignore it.

Should I text her again and say that? That I just want her to let me know that it's over if that is the case. Or just forget about her for a while and see if she replies in her own time.

If she doesn't reply in a week, or even by next weekend maybe then I could drop her a text and just say it was nice meeting, good luck etc.?

Maybe 24 hours is too quick and she's trying to play it cool and I'll ruin everything by pressuring her into replying too quickly?

From writing this out I've kind of figured the answer myself, but maybe some replies from ye will set me mind spinning.

If no one replies to this, I'll give up on communication with humans altogether.

Thanks etc.

jdsk2006

Leave her be.

Scortho

splendid101 wrote: »

Hi,

So I met a girl on Friday night, then met her again on Saturday. Obviously a bit of passion and attraction there, great.

I emailed her on Monday. No reply that day, or Tuesday. Grand.

I expected something back the first day so a little annoyed/paranoid/scared it's all finished with. Then I get to thinking maybe I got her email address wrong (knowing deep down I didn't but clinging to vague hope).

Drop her a text on Wednesday, today, early. No reply all day to the text or email.

If she doesn't want to see me or talk to me ever again I'd be disappointed but I can accept that, it happens. But I'd like her to say that she doesn't want to see me, not just ignore it.

Should I text her again and say that? That I just want her to let me know that it's over if that is the case. Or just forget about her for a while and see if she replies in her own time.

If she doesn't reply in a week, or even by next weekend maybe then I could drop her a text and just say it was nice meeting, good luck etc.?

Maybe 24 hours is too quick and she's trying to play it cool and I'll ruin everything by pressuring her into replying too quickly?

From writing this out I've kind of figured the answer myself, but maybe some replies from ye will set me mind spinning.

If no one replies to this, I'll give up on communication with humans altogether.

Thanks etc.

Definitely leave her in peace. If she replies back next week then yeah decide what you want to do. At the moment you just sound desperate.
If she replies though, play it cool for a few days. Replying straight away would just sound like you were waiting around for her text.
If she doesn't reply to you in the next week, forget about her and move on. I wouldn't even bother wasting time trying to contact her again. You have to let her come to you.
Go out again this weekend and find a new pitch to play ball on. And leave it a week with the next one before making contact.

Source....personal experience. Women are crazy.

splendid101

If she replies though, play it cool for a few days. Replying straight away would just sound like you were waiting around for her text.

But that's exactly the truth of the matter.

I'll reply straight away and say, "why the **** didn't you reply quicker?"

Fecking people playing games.

All right, thanks for the replies, lads.

Chucky the tree

You're already wandering into weird/stalker territory so I'd definitely let it go. Another text or email and you've firmly cross over there.

judgefudge

You're way too invested in this.

You want her to reply and say she's not interested? Why? She's already said it by not replying.

Lorna123

If she is not replying then she is not interested. Some people do not have the courage to say that to your face so they just alienate you by not communicating at all. You have to be able to read between the lines and not expect everything to be spelt out to you. I would not be bothered contacting this woman again. She has no manners. Just be thankful you found out sooner rather than later.

ash23

It's really hard to just come out and say "I'm sorry but I don't think this is going to go anywhere" without feeling bad and without getting drawn into conversation about why not.

It's rude to blank someone but sometimes it's the easiest way. Personally I'd always do the "it's not going to go anywhere" text but I have found that it can end up in a back and forth about the person. So I can see why some people avoid it.

She's been rude to not reply but she's not all that interested clearly so just leave it be now. Delete her number and her email address so you won't be tempted to contact her again.

wallycharlo

Just let it go man.

kylith

OP, you've tried to contact her every day this week so far, if it was me I'd be getting seriously weirded out by you now. Take the hint and back off. If she's interested she'll reply to you.

splendid101

kylith wrote: »

OP, you've tried to contact her every day this week so far, if it was me I'd be getting seriously weirded out by you now. Take the hint and back off. If she's interested she'll reply to you.

No, kylith. I only contacted her on Monday and Wednesday.

wallycharlo

splendid101 wrote: »

No, kylith. I only contacted her on Monday and Wednesday.

Forget her, if she does not have the courtesy to get back to you one way or the other then she is not worth bothering with in any case.

December2012

splendid101 wrote: »

No, kylith. I only contacted her on Monday and Wednesday.

That's still too much.

You've made it clear your interested, so your part is done.

The ball is in her court now, carry on with your life as normal and see what comes. It might be something or nothing, but you tried.

December2012

wallycharlo wrote: »

Forget her, if she does not have the courtesy to get back to you one way or the other then she is not worth bothering with in any case.

Now this I disagree with. Nobody is under an obligation to be honest at this stage of any relationship.

kylith

splendid101 wrote: »

No, kylith. I only contacted her on Monday and Wednesday.

Sorry, when you said

I emailed her on Monday. No reply that day, or Tuesday.
...
Drop her a text on Wednesday, today, early. No reply all day to the text or email.

Since I was reading it on Thursday I thought you'd emailed her on Monday and Tuesday and texted 'Wednesday, and today'. My apologies.

You've contacted her twice so the ball is now in her court. If you keep contacting her then you will only come across as stalker-ish. My advise is to leave her be, you've made it clear that you're interested, so now it's up to her to decide if she wants to see you again.

wallycharlo

December2012 wrote: »

Now this I disagree with. Nobody is under an obligation to be honest at this stage of any relationship.

I don't think it's anything to do with obligation, it's about ordinary human decency. Simply not responding at all is a cop-out, and a sign of someone who will back away from difficult decisions and take the easy way out. Personally that's not the type of person that I would like to have as a partner in any case.

Just my own 2 cts, I know that not everyone will be guided by the same moral compass

splendid101

wallycharlo wrote: »

I don't think it's anything to do with obligation, it's about ordinary human decency. Simply not responding at all is a cop-out, and a sign of someone who will back away from difficult decisions and take the easy way out. Personally that's not the type of person that I would like to have as a partner in any case.

Just my own 2 cts, I know that not everyone will be guided by the same moral compass

In retrospect, two days after meeting was probably a bit early to email that sonnet about wanting to have babies with her.

December2012

December2012 wrote: »

Now this I disagree with. Nobody is under an obligation to be honest at this stage of any relationship.

Honesty is a given. All the time. Every time. Any different, I want no business dealing with you.

A lack of response is exactly the same as a no. And it's dishonest. Whether for good or bad reasons, you must act the same. You've been rejected, cut the cords & carry in without the cretin.

Pippy1976

There's definitely a fine line with this kind of thing.

What's the harm in saying 'I like you, I think we had a great time, I'd like to see you again'. This playing games thing is a waste of everyone's time. Honesty is the best policy but I think the lack of response speaks volumes here.

Leave it go. The next time this happens and the girl responds then BINGO! you've found your woman. Someone leaving you dangling like this is clearly wasting your time.

Game playing... sheesh, ridiculous.

splendid101

Well, unlike everyone else on this thread, I haven't given up hope. I still think she'll email me.

If she doesn't however, I WILL be following up on it. Whether she found my graphic subscriptions of what I would do to her body a little creepy or if she discovered somehow that I already have a girlfriend, I'm sure we can work things out and become friends.

Thanks for all the replies so far.

Brego888

splendid101 wrote: »

Well, unlike everyone else on this thread, I haven't given up hope. I still think she'll email me.

If she doesn't however, I WILL be following up on it. Whether she found my graphic subscriptions of what I would do to her body a little creepy or if she discovered somehow that I already have a girlfriend, I'm sure we can work things out and become friends.

Thanks for all the replies so far.

Why bother asking for advice if you've already made up your mind that you'll continue to follow up on it?
Any advice given seems redundant.

December2012

Why are you pursuing her if you've a girlfriend?

wallycharlo

December2012 wrote: »

Why are you pursuing her if you've a girlfriend?

He's either trolling or being sarcastic.

I hope the latter.

Taltos

OP - as you are intent on ignoring all of the reasonable advice above I am going to go ahead and close this thread.

Taltos