Why the need to cover shoulders in church at wedding?

DebDynamite

Hi all

I've noticed in a few of the "dress for a wedding guest" threads on this forum that some posters recommend wearing a pashima/shrug/jacket at the church to cover one's shoulders.

Is this to keep the guest warm or is it frowned upon for one to have their shoulers exposed in a church?

I would understand if it was the latter, but in more cases than not, the bride is standing at the top of the church in a sleeveless dress, so why the need for a guest to cover up?

Not looking to start a debate, just genuinely curious. I just want to know the etiquette so as not to commit a faux pas in future.

muckisluck

Yes it is generally recommended so that skin isn't exposed in the church. But you're absolutely right- the bride is often the one showing most disrespect in this regard. However just because brides seem to be able to get away with anything they want because they're the bride guests may not get the same concession.

Sulla Felix

Eh, you're not going to get pulled up on it.

Passing the church last Friday I did a double take, young one in nude leggings and a t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination on heading in the door. Sure. her shoulders were covered but didn't really need the clothes off to see everything anyway. :P

meeeeh

Anybody who did a bit of sightseeing in Italy in summer knows that very often they won't even let you into the church if your knees and shoulders are not covered or if your top is cut too deep.

I think it is better to stick to the etiquette and be rather more conservative.

endacl

Holygod is afraid of skin apparently.

And think of the poor cleric. That billowy outfit will only conceal so much.... excitement.

DebDynamite

DebDynamite wrote: »

Is this to keep the guest warm or is it frowned upon for one to have their shoulers exposed in a church?

Not looking to start a debate, just genuinely curious. I just want to know the etiquette so as not to commit a faux pas in future.

It's not really that shoulders need to be covered up. If I saw someone in the church with their shoulders uncovered I wouldn't even think about it. However, I do think it's good to be slightly modest in the church, and it just happens that a lot of dresses that leave the shoulders uncovered are the same type that might not quite be modest enough for a church across the arms/shoulders/chest area (in my opinion; honestly I know my opinion is the minority judging from some of the Ibiza-nightclub-ready dresses I've seen at weddings and christenings). So don't worry about covering up your shoulders, but maybe do be conscious of dressing respectfully (oh god I sound like such a fuddy-duddy, but there's no other way to say it).

It's nice to look good (and not-so modest) at the reception though, so sometimes it's easier all round to dress for the reception and just bring something to cover up with at the church. It's really not that big a deal though.

dudara

In Italy and other countries, you won't even be allowed into a church (even as a tourist) unless your shoulders are covered and/or you're reasonably covered up.

In my view, it's a church and I will respect it (even though I am not a believer). It's really more about decorum and etiquette and understanding the context of the event.

belcampprisoner

http://www.ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur36.htm

Ilyana 2.0

I'd cover my shoulders during the wedding ceremony in a church, but only because I'd be frozen in a draughty church with bare shoulders!

Clareboy

Sulla Felix wrote: »

Eh, you're not going to get pulled up on it.

Passing the church last Friday I did a double take, young one in nude leggings and a t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination on heading in the door. Sure. her shoulders were covered but didn't really need the clothes off to see everything anyway. :P

She was more than likely a member of the Traveler community as the norms of proper behavior in a church do no apply to them.

Clareboy

dudara wrote: »

In Italy and other countries, you won't even be allowed into a church (even as a tourist) unless your shoulders are covered and/or you're reasonably covered up.

In my view, it's a church and I will respect it (even though I am not a believer). It's really more about decorum and etiquette and understanding the context of the event.

Its a pity that the dress code applied in churches in Italy is not applied in this country. The priests in Ireland are just too gutless to speak out in case they offend the so called culture of a certain minority group.

Toto Wolfcastle

Clareboy, please do not post generalisations about groups of people in this forum. The OP is asking why there is a need to cover your shoulders, not who wears inappropriate clothing in churches.

noddyone2

Respect.

Meangadh

Well I presume it's supposed to be a respect thing but personally I just like the idea that you're kind of covered up earlier in the day and then later when it's time to party/relax fully then you can remove the jacket/shrug etc and kind of "reveal" your outfit properly. I wouldn't feel comfortable in the church without being a little more covered up actually, I'd feel like something was missing.

Besides, I've rarely been at a wedding in Ireland where it was warm enough in the church not to have some sort of extra layer on.

MurdyWurdy

I wore a little lace bolero jacket with my wedding dress because I didn't feel it was appropriate to have a lot of my shoulders on display in a church. It made me feel a lot more comfortable.

I do agree that a lot of wedding dresses leave little to the imagination (some strapless ones are fine but lots of them have very plunging necklines and don't go far up the skin on top, Imo, those kind of dresses are not really suitable for a church wedding) so it seems strange that guests feel they need to cover up more if the bride isn't. I would always wear a pashmina or something like that if I was wearing a strapless/low cut dress to a wedding.

josip

Self preservation and consideration. Frostbitten shoulders would be very offputting to the other guests at the reception afterwards.

im invisible

noddyone2 wrote: »

Respect.

word