Self help and Stress free.

Geomy

There's all sorts of spiritual and religious books about living in the now and dealing with emotional problems like co-dependence and depression....

Is there many non spiritual or religious books for people who like a more rational but easy on the head read...

As in something to absorb without too much heavy reading.

This post isn't about bashing religious or spiritual books it's about help for rational or atheist readers

swampgas

Geomy wrote: »

There's all sorts of spiritual and religious books about living in the now and dealing with emotional problems like co-dependence and depression....

Is there many non spiritual or religious books for people who like a more rational but easy on the head read...

As in something to absorb without too much heavy reading.

This post isn't about bashing religious or spiritual books it's about help for rational or atheist readers

I've been thinking about this, and it's a toughie

Maybe 59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman? I liked most of it, even if it's a bit American. It is very easy to read though.

I think Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is an interesting read too, but it's not really a self-help book, unless you like fixing things. There's a great bit in it about gumption traps which has stuck with me for decades.

Obliq

Geomy wrote: »

There's all sorts of spiritual and religious books about living in the now and dealing with emotional problems like co-dependence and depression....

Is there many non spiritual or religious books for people who like a more rational but easy on the head read...

As in something to absorb without too much heavy reading.

This post isn't about bashing religious or spiritual books it's about help for rational or atheist readers

JEBUS CHRITE. How many times do I have to keep recommending this book?! Seriously, have a look. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5617966-a-guide-to-the-good-life
Absorb away. No heavy reading......all good, clean self-examination.

Zombrex

Geomy wrote: »

There's all sorts of spiritual and religious books about living in the now and dealing with emotional problems like co-dependence and depression....

Is there many non spiritual or religious books for people who like a more rational but easy on the head read...

As in something to absorb without too much heavy reading.

This post isn't about bashing religious or spiritual books it's about help for rational or atheist readers

Sorry if this is off topic, but I would personally feel that dealing with emotional problems is better done with a councillor rather than through a book.

The problem with anything that doesn't involve someone to bounce off is that what ever you read will be interpreted within the context of our own issues.

Where as a good councillor can know when to push a little to get you to reflect on stuff you might not be thinking about. Particularly a councillor trained in cognitive behaviour therapy, which is about helping the patient evaluate where they are in life at the moment and regain a sense of ownership of their choices and actions.

Just my 2 cents, hope that isn't considered an intrusion into the thread.

Geomy

All replies are welcome.

Some people go through years,months or weeks of counciling or therapy and eventually move on.

Others need to check in now and again,I suppose there is a different approach depending on the circumstances and help one needs.

Then some people might be recommended books to read now and again just to touch base and realize the fear and anxiety is a chemical imbalance or not really important.

I suppose if one is rational they wouldn't suffer much from stress or fear

Wish I was as rational as some of ye guys and ladies.

Being rational or atheist takes away a lot of god fearing traits.

Being agnostic kinda makes one a bit mixed up lol

SebBerkovich

A.C. Grayling - The Good Book

it's self help.. of a kind.

Obliq

Geomy wrote: »

All replies are welcome.

Some people go through years,months or weeks of counciling or therapy and eventually move on.

Others need to check in now and again,I suppose there is a different approach depending on the circumstances and help one needs.

Then some people might be recommended books to read now and again just to touch base and realize the fear and anxiety is a chemical imbalance or not really important.

I suppose if one is rational they wouldn't suffer much from stress or fear

Wish I was as rational as some of ye guys and ladies.

Being rational or atheist takes away a lot of god fearing traits.

Being agnostic kinda makes one a bit mixed up lol

Geomy, I'm an agnostic atheist because i have no evidence to the contrary of the non-existence of any god. But if any evidence turns up, I'll base an opinion on that evidence then. I think I hold rational opinions (but I would, wouldn't I?!), but I'm not a very rational person. I don't think being an atheist MAKES me rational - but it's just sensible to go on evidence rather than conjecture.

There are other areas in my life that I am decidedly irrational about, in that I am overly harsh on myself and I ONLY believe the evidence that isn't in my favour (very unscientific!), such as parenting/creativity/social standing, among many more. I am my own biggest critic, and sometimes let myself believe the worst of myself. That IS irrational, and I know it.

The chemical imbalance (known as depression) is all too easy to slip into for us people who are made that way, and sometimes I need medication for it as the intrusive negative thoughts about myself will drag me down further. Thankfully it's something that I can express better these days, especially to my loved ones. That really helps - in fact, I can bump myself out of it sometimes when I verbalise what I'm feeling and say to a friend that I'm feeling really rubbish about myself. Then have a good evening in with them and a few cans or similar.

Your sentences "Wish I was as rational as some of ye guys and ladies." and "Being agnostic kinda makes one a bit mixed up lol" rings many bells for me! I'm hoping you're not feeling the "stress and fear" too much today.....don't be too hard on yourself eh? I can guarantee that no one else is as hard on yourself as you......

Sending happy thoughts your way (which is probably ridiculous, because I am a "rational atheist" and I KNOW they won't get to you ) xx
Meant to say, that's my kind of "self help" these days....self medication with appointed shoulder to whinge on :-)

Sarky

Don't really see any point in self help books. They're too much like religion in that you're looking for easy answers as given by someone else (for a price, naturally), and those books usually provide little in the way of advice; If the first ever self-help book worked, the second would never have sold. The sort of person who keeps buying self-help books is rarely any better off for it. But they keep chasing the dream and throwing money at authors instead of rolling up their sleeves and getting down to some good serious introspection and self-improvement.

I'm the only one who's going to sort my own life out. Looking for someone else to do it is an exercise in disappointment.

Obliq

Sarky wrote: »

I'm the only one who's going to sort my own life out. Looking for someone else to do it is an exercise in disappointment.

Yeah....while this is true Sarky, I know I'VE been in some very bad states that I needed help from someone else to get out of. The one thing that held me back was that phrase "I'm the only one who's going to sort my own life out" and I used it to beat myself up about how much I was failing at even that

In my opinion, the act of looking for a self help book (whatever about whether they work or not) is an act of goodwill towards yourself. It's an acknowledgement that there ARE people who can help (whether by listening or advising) and that is a good thing, if, like me, you're in the business of heaping loads of pressure on yourself to go it alone all the time - stand on your own feet, all that. Sometimes that's not the most helpful thing to think.

So when you say "Looking for someone else to do it ...", I think you're making the assumption that a person who seeks help is wanting to escape looking at themselves. That's a dangerous thing to say to someone who is potentially extremely harsh on themselves anyway.

Sarky

Poor wording on my part perhaps, sorry for the confusion. Waiting for someone else to help out will get you nowhere. Looking for help is you doing something to improve your life. Getting help is certainly not a sign of weakness, I was just trying to say that help doesn't just magically appear, you have to acknowledge you need some and then go find it.

I just don't think those books are the answer, for a whole range of reasons.

Obliq

Sarky wrote: »

Poor wording on my part perhaps, sorry for the confusion. Waiting for someone else to help out will get you nowhere. Looking for help is you doing something to improve your life. Getting help is certainly not a sign of weakness, I was just trying to say that help doesn't just magically appear, you have to acknowledge you need some and then go find it.

I just don't think those books are the answer, for a whole range of reasons.

Cool...yeah. Don't think Geomy was suggesting that a self-help book is the answer for anything. It DOES help to have something in text form that you can dip into now and then to remind yourself of another perspective, which is exactly what a good book can do.

Like you I think, when I hear "self-help" book, I immediately think of a mixture of every hippy-dippy enlightenment/astrological/spiritual philosophy nonsense that ever tried to persuade poor misfortunates to part with their money, but some of them (like the one I suggested above) are about another PERSPECTIVE when you need one.

I see that kind of book as being more for people who already KNOW what they need, and just pick out quotes/sections that help to acknowledge they're on the right track.

the culture of deference

Sarky wrote: »

Don't really see any point in self help books. They're too much like religion in that you're looking for easy answers as given by someone else (for a price, naturally), and those books usually provide little in the way of advice; If the first ever self-help book worked, the second would never have sold. The sort of person who keeps buying self-help books is rarely any better off for it. But they keep chasing the dream and throwing money at authors instead of rolling up their sleeves and getting down to some good serious introspection and self-improvement.

I'm the only one who's going to sort my own life out. Looking for someone else to do it is an exercise in disappointment.

People always look for easy fixes, or someone else to blame. Life can be very simple, if you are rational enough to recognise it.

Geomy

the culture of deference wrote: »

People always look for easy fixes, or someone else to blame. Life can be very simple, if you are rational enough to recognise it.

That's true,I once heard a guy say keep it simple stupid lol

Live life in moderation

human 19

No book can help one person, as they have a general idea or thread or may be trying to promote a particular POV or , more likely, trying their best to get on to the "popular psychology" bookshelves.

A site like turn2me.org (Irish site) would be a better place to go to at least talk to others in a similar position. At least you would receive understanding and also help others in turn.

Regarding a particular affliction like depression , I would actually suggest buying an acedemic textbook. You dont have to read it in a month. You would come across concepts you may not know about like neurotransmitters (eg serotonin) at which point you go on to wikipedia to get further info

nagirrac

There is a lovely little book by my favorite atheist Richard Feynman called "The Meaning of it All". Its hated by a lot of philosophers as by Feynman's own admission he was a terrible philosopher. However, if you watch a youtube video of him first and the read the book as if he is speaking to you (it is only just over 100 pages), it is hugely entertaining and thought provoking. Its full of errors and misspeaks, and hopelessly dated in parts, but there are countless gems that illuminate how one of the greatest minds we have known tries to figure things out. He defines some controversial topics really well, like science cannot approach questions regarding right and wrong, religion and science can coexist once you accept they are asking different questions, and at the end of the day just accepting that life is an ongoing enfolding mystery full of uncertainty, and how you live your life is the point, not trying to figure life out.
Good luck Geomy, you have had some great advice on this thread, in particular from Obliq.

Benny_Cake

The thing about depression and other mood disorders is that it couldn't care less whether you believe in God(s) or don't, or whether you are a man or a woman, straight or gay, or what age you are. The black dog can sit at any door. Regarding books and so on - it's a little basic but Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies is well worth a read. Accounts of other people who have struggled in the same way can be helpful as well, I've heard great things about "Darkness Visible" by William Styron. DeVores thread on AH is brilliant too.

Geomy, I'd suggest that if you are feeling this way that you reach out talk to a professional or someone you trust. Things didn't begin to improve for me until I went to the doctor and started a course of medication along with finding a great counsellor. At my lowest point it didn't feel as if I could ever be truly happy again but I'm doing a lot better now. I simply didn't have the tools at my disposal to deal with it on my own, it was the help of others that allowed me to turn the corner.

Whatever books, self-help or otherwise work for you, that's great, but I'd view think that it's unlikely that anyone suffering from depression that's in any way serious would find that books help on their own.

Geomy

I am lucky I don't get bouts of stress as much as I used to,as I have learned or adapted to the fact negative thoughts are just thoughts and not reality.

F E A R

Falce Evidence Appearing Real

And realizing it's a chemical imbalance is comfortable too,as when one wakes up in the morning and says to him or herself....here we go again it might be a bad day but sure this too shall pass

I hope these posts are helping anyone else besides me who get down now and again.

Did any of ye hear that Daft Punk new song ?


Music can sometimes be the answer

sponsoredwalk

Knowing even the little I do about how much a small chemical imbalance can fcuk people up & how profound a difference it can make for those people to have a professional to talk to as often as possible, I can confidently say you'd do yourself a world of good to sort something like this out for yourself, to find a way to have someone to talk to who understands as well as someone qualified who can provide chemicals that will try to provide some form of balance [if you chemically balance things out but are psychically tuned into old habits you're pretty likely to regress & honestly something as serious as a chemical imbalance almost certainly needs medicine, though of course a doctor should be the one to decide that *assuming one already hasn't, though again Ireland is apparently awful in this regard, so that doesn't make it easier & another try somewhere else might be in order*].

I mean when you actually see that shit in front of your eyes in the real world & the change it can bring about I feel that you just couldn't help but be motivated to stop holding back & fling yourself down that path. Having conversations with people who understand & reading other people's ordeals [for instance, online] who are sympathetic to the kind of hell you go through when you're dealing with something so out of your control as a chemical imbalance is fantastic in that they are mainly ways of seeking out honesty, an honesty with yourself & others, & if you go through with that & sincerely follow through on where such honestly leads you (mixed with actual medicine) it should hopefully be everything you need so that instead of a self-help book you could read some fcuking Shelley by a lake in the sun :cool: (or some mind-bending nonsense, whatever floats the boat on that lake you'll be by).

One thing though:

Geomy wrote: »

I suppose if one is rational they wouldn't suffer much from stress or fear

Wish I was as rational as some of ye guys and ladies.

I think this would a very scary thing to believe or to even pretend is in any way true. Luckily since you're not ideologically confined by the walls that enclose such an ideology as that of rationality you should feel open-minded enough in your state of stress & fear to poke holes in the promises & warm fuzzy feelings such beliefs implicitly force on you & not feel the need to tighten some cognitive cilice after the brief moment of weakness that so [shudder] irrationally snuck up on you [something that shan't occur again provided 50 Hail [SIZE=1]M[/SIZE]ary's are in order]. If anything that's one positive aspect to not being a member of the ubermensch rationalista, & I'm sure there's others, so of course even though you're nothing more than a sinner for not belonging to the in-group there are perks so one really shouldn't beat themselves up over this un-original sin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L93-7vRfxNs

Obliq

Nice ^^^

nozzferrahhtoo

Geomy wrote: »

Is there many non spiritual or religious books for people who like a more rational but easy on the head read...

There is another boards.ie writer who knows a lot more about this than I do so I will try and get him on-thread to tell you more.... but have you tried any of the Vipassana books about mindfulness meditation? "Wherever you go there you are" is meant to be the go to introduction book on the topic and the author is the founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

Sam Harris describes Vipassana well as being meditation which has been divested of all the spiritual woo and mumbo jumbo normally associated with such things. In his words "there is nothing one has to subscribe to on insufficient evidence in order to explore this aspect of human spirituality and introspection" and he goes on to describe it as a methodology for exploring the possibility of attaining human happiness BEFORE the inputs normally associated with it such as having ones favorite food on ones lips etc etc.

Having purchased WYGTYA I can attest that it is a very easy on the head read and is split into tiny chapters that one can ingest and digest at will, assimilating it as and when you want into your every day life.

Obliq

Sounds quite interesting Nozz, and very Stoical!