Life Advice!

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Going unreg for this one and would love a bit of advice. Mods, I'm specifically putting this here instead of Work & Jobs as I feel it's a bit more complex than just a work issue.

Basically, my head is just melted at the moment with a choice I have facing me. I'm 26, work in a good profession, have a permanent and well paid job. I live with my boyfriend, who is in year 4 of 5 years of education and has a weekend job that pays just above min wage. This is all fine, as I'm earning so much more I pay the bulk of bills etc, he contributes what he can and we're both happy with that.

So, no problem. But, over the past 18 months or so I've come to HATE my job and realise that the career path I'm on doesn't do anything for me. It causes me massive stress and I'm fairly sure my current job has me well on the way to an anxiety issue, I've had panic attacks about it before, and for the past 6 months it drains me so much that I'm having more and more of an issue looking after myself in terms of sleep, exercise, eating well. I was binge drinking at weekends a couple of months back but after a few weeks saw what I was doing and have knocked that on the head. Part of the problem is certainly where I'm currently working, things would improve slightly if I was working elsewhere but there's still a lot of problems that would carry across no matter where I did the job. So I started looking to move into a different sector, unfortunately after a year of trying no joy as I have limited experience. So I applied for a masters which I'd had my eye on since last year and was accepted.

This has thrown me into a complete tizzy. I have no idea if I should take it or not and have worked myself up into a complete state. A huge consideration is the money factor- I've saved enough to support myself for the year supplemented with part time work and would need a loan for the fees. But I can't support my OH on what I have. I've talked to him about it, he doesn't want to feel that he was the reason that I wouldn't do something that I wanted to do and keeps saying that it would all work out-but practically I can't see how and I know I'd get massively stressed about it. Any family/friends I've talked to that have left work to go back to education, including a couple who both did it the same year, agree with him and say you just make sacrifices and muddle through it somehow. But now I'm thinking that I'm being almost selfish re wanting to do it, from the point of view that I'm extremely lucky at my age to have a good job and maybe I should learn to suck it up a bit more! I've gotten to the stage that I'm overthinking so much that last night I lay awake plotting out my entire future and had myself freaking out that in 4 years time we may not be able to buy a house or afford kids and couldn't sleep. I'm well aware how ridiculous that is-nobody knows how their life is going to go for the next 4 years! But whenever I try to sit down and think it through my thoughts run away with me and I end up in a flap over stupid stuff like that. So this is why I'm writing this. It's actually felt amazing to write all this out, and I would really appreciate a calm outside view of my situation! Thanks in advance guys.

Esoteric_

It's not selfish to want to work for a varied you think you'll enjoy.

There's very little I can say, as I can't tell you what to do, but ultimately, your health comes first and it sounds as thought your job is compromising your mental health. You should stop putting others before you and do what makes you happy and healthy.

Neyite

Could your company fund your masters part time? I know a few people who are doing it that way. Not easy to do both, but at least there is an income to the house.

kat.mac

Hi OP,

I can relate to a good bit of what you're going through. I took the risk of leaving a job that was impacting me negatively in a huge way and while it was hairy enough at times after leaving, I'm so thrilled that I did it. My happiness index has shot right up and my relationships with all my family and friends have improved immeasurably as a result.

My advice would be to take a few deep breaths, remember that panic and worry are the two most useless emotions in the world and go for what will make you the happiest. Your family and friends are dead right - ye will get through it financially with determination and perseverance.

Best of luck OP - sounds like a bit of an adventure awaits!