Should I ask her out?

zxcvbnm1

I am currently flat hunting and I met one of the estate agents 2 times over 2 consecutive days last week showing me and my friend a property.

So thats the extent of my inetaction with her. BUt i definitely fancied her.

We have since taken a property from a different agency since last friday.

She left a voicemail this morning on my pohone wondering if our offer for the other place last friday was accepted - or if we were still looking. (I had told her on teh phone last friday we put an offer in on a place)
Our offer was accepted so no longer looking for a property.

The only number I have for her is her office number.Realistically I am not going to ring up her office looking for a date.

I do however have the email addres of her colleague who I had a few emails with last week who also showed us a property.

The only thing i can do is mail the colleague, explain that the girl in question left a voicemail on my phone this morning and ask can he pass on her work email.
I could the nmail her - tell her we took teh other place - and aske her if she wants to meet up for a drink.

Obviosuly I've no idea if she is single or not.

Anyway - is that an alright thing to do? Or is it bordering on the spooky side?
WHat would you do?

Merkin

Go for it! It's not spooky at all. Hopefully she will say yes

P. Breathnach

Don't involve her colleague; that's spooky.

You have almost nothing to go on except the fact that you fancy her. You don't even know if she is single or if she is potentially interested in you. I presume that your professional contact with her had a friendly tone - but, then, that's expected of her in her line of work, so it might mean nothing.

Contrive an excuse to have a conversation with her. Ring the office, tell her that you are sorted for accommodation, but ask if she can do you a personal favour: that you don't really understand the lease you have been asked to sign, and you would be grateful if she could find a few minutes to explain a couple of clauses to you. As it's not really her job, suggest that you pay for her lunch as compensation.

[That's all the script-writing I feel like doing today!]

zxcvbnm1

Anyone else any opoinions? If I am doing thsi i hav eto do this very shortly.

Pomplamousse

I think you should go for it. Worst case scenario is that she says no and you're no worse off than you are now.
Better to regret something you did than... etc etc:)

Today I finally plucked up the courage after 7 months to ask a girl out who've i absolutely fancied the arse off since September and the one regret i have is that i didn't ask sooner as she very politely declined owing to the fact she is meeting someone with the last 8 weeks.

My advice to OP is that If you think too much about it the harder it will become and neither women or Father Time wait for no man. If i could kick myself up the arse at this moment i would because she told me she would have said yes no question about it barring the fact she is in a relationship.

You live and learn

Demosthenese

Can't be too hard to get an email for her regardless is it? The question here is do you want to ask her in person and get ACCEPTED or REJECTED, or , do it by email and take the easy way out of it ... rejection by email/text is probably handier BUT i've no doubt that you'll get a better chance if its in person.

If it were me ... meh, go for it, email her collegue if need be and simply ask for her contact nothing strange there. Keep it simple, i am sure either way she'd be flattered even if she got a bloke (Or politely turns you down) ... "Sorry but couldn't pass up the chance to ask you out for a drink/meal, sorry if you are already attached. thanks ...

Worse case she replies - sorry i am seeing someone. Move on swiftly.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I definitely think you should go for it once you are happy that there is a large chance she might not be interested or is in a relationship. There is also a chance she will be interested and nothing ventured....

If a guy asked me out in work I would definitly prefer an email. It is less confrontational, gives her time to think about it without being put on the spot and will also be easier for her/you if the response is negative.

I would call her to let her know you've found somewhere and thank her for her time and ask her for her email address in case you need it in the future. Then send her a friendly but brief email. Don't be apologetic in the email but try and make it obvious that you don't do this all the time!

Good luck.

StickyIcky

The post above by lkn is your best option mate. As she says... Do it

Katgurl

Google her name or ask her colleague for her mail address.

Do not ask her to explain the clause in lease - I hate when i'm asked out on faux dates under guise of professional advice, it doesn't really give me opportunity to decline.

Send her brief friendly email saying something jokey like you are happy you found a lease but means you don't have an excuse to be in touch wiht her anymore... unless she would like to go for a drink or a coffee instead?

I really think people way overthink ask people out on dates. I mean, so what if she declines? Are you going to die - no? Are you going to be devastated she is not in your life - no, she's not in it now. Is it really embarrassing that you have declared interest - no, you are a redblooded male with eyes in your head, you can identify an attractive girl. Are you going to be humiliated by the rejection - no why would you, there are any number of reasons she could say no and most of them have nothing to do with whether or not you're attractive; she could be involved, a lesbian, into computer geeks wiht buck teeth (this may be you but you get my point).

Just do it and then you'll either come out with a date or you won't but you'll find asking out the next hottie that bit easier.

Katgurl

Katgurl wrote: »

Google her name or ask her colleague for her mail address.

Do not ask her to explain the clause in lease - I hate when i'm asked out on faux dates under guise of professional advice, it doesn't really give me opportunity to decline.

Send her brief friendly email saying something jokey like you are happy you found a lease but means you don't have an excuse to be in touch wiht her anymore... unless she would like to go for a drink or a coffee instead?

I really think people way overthink ask people out on dates. I mean, so what if she declines? Are you going to die - no? Are you going to be devastated she is not in your life - no, she's not in it now. Is it really embarrassing that you have declared interest - no, you are a redblooded male with eyes in your head, you can identify an attractive girl. Are you going to be humiliated by the rejection - no why would you, there are any number of reasons she could say no and most of them have nothing to do with whether or not you're attractive; she could be involved, a lesbian, into computer geeks wiht buck teeth (this may be you but you get my point).

Just do it and then you'll either come out with a date or you won't but you'll find asking out the next hottie that bit easier.

You are spot on tbh. I think we as humans perhaps listen to our head too much instead of acting on gut feeling and heart more often.
I'm not suggesting a total substitute but people need to find the right balance.

Not trying to hijack the thread with my own experience but from my point of view i felt the girl in question was worth making more of an effort for so i had decided that if i ever asked her out that i would man up and that it would be face to face and I also felt that since the collapse of my last relationship, that my communication skills were something i needed to address personally and that i was sick of taking the easy way out by texting, etc (I realise that in some cases it cant always be avoided)

i think the majority of women admire a man who has the balls to go up to them and ask them out and while a relationship mightn't be feasible at that point in time at least if things were to change for both parties in the future, it has painted a good impression of the guy if he gets another bite at the cherry down the line.

Those who do laugh in the guys (or girls) face or overreact where its an otherwise normal healthy situation, well tbh then its a narrow escape for the proposer.

The whole experience the other day taught me that the Irish people need to change their dating habits also. Come out of their comfort zone more often and communicate effectively with people. Actually make an effort to get to know them and be bould enough to take risks.

What we are embroiled in, is a sorry go round where we rely on plying drinks into ourselves to build up dutch courage so we can effectively meet a potential suitor in a meat market environment where no one can hear each other speak or have a proper conversation. Granted there will always be the odd exception and plenty of couples have met and grown from strength to strength having met in this type of environment but that depends on the nature of the two people tbh and mere fate bringing them together.

In all phobias you face it head on in order to conquer it
Granted that experiences may cause deep complexes over time but there comes a time when you have to come out of your comfort zone and try something new. I can honestly say that at almost 30 years old, that the first girl i ever properly asked out was two days ago and i feel brilliant for having done it. Its a major monkey off my back and while it wasn't the result i wanted i had more positives to take from the experience.

It took an emotional toll on me that evening ill admit but that is only due to the fact i was overwhelmed by nerves and the fact that after 7 months of having admiration toward this girl that i was finally going to bite the bullet. i was apprehensive about meeting said girl next day but she gave me her usual beautiful nice white smile and made a bit of small talk and all was well with the world again.

kjl

Everyone on here is going to say go for it, but I would question if you had a rapport with her. Did you flirt with her at all? Did she respond? Did she show any interest in you at all apart from showing you two places?

I think it would be a bit creepy to hunt her down through her colleague.

kjl

kjl wrote: »

Everyone on here is going to say go for it, but I would question if you had a rapport with her. Did you flirt with her at all? Did she respond? Did she show any interest in you at all apart from showing you two places?

I think it would be a bit creepy to hunt her down through her colleague.

Id agree its better to go direct but sometimes you have to seek out a rapport and you really cant judge a rapport when the primary dealings with her were in such a professional capacity.

To be honest in order to find the answers then it goes without saying that first you must actually ask the questions