Right or wrong

Wellactually

Ok Folks would like others opinions and possibly advice on this

Im 33yo male, have a 5 year old child with partner and she has 12 year old son from previous, we are together over 6 years.

We dont live together anymore as myself and her own son dont get on, never did from day one, he behavioural problems no control etc.

Anyway, few months ago an old female friend got in touch with me through facebook, bit of genaral chat hows kids hows work etc, but I might hace got a bit personal when asked and told my business saying that `dont get on with stepkid` and if it `wasnt for my own` id be gone, was just chit chat far an I concerned.

There was mild flirting(comment on a photo saying very good looking) on her half but I didnt return it just joked it off.

Anyway to the point, all the other chit chat was private message but my partner hacked fb account and seen this, freaked out cos was discussing personal business with another woman and of course accused of this that and the other.

Ive now been told that unless I block her we are finished :rolleyes:, ordinarily, for an easy life I probably would but this has been going on from start of realtionship, and Im Godfather to the woman that got in touch.

Anyway, just curious do folks think she is right, wrong, over-reacting or what?

The way I see it it was general chit chat of how was getting on and was private, but others see it differently?

Know the other woman 15years if means anything and never more than friends.

Brego888

Couple of points I'd make:
1. She shouldn't be hacking your Facebook.
2. It's hardly generally "chit chat" you were having if you said you'd be gone if it wasn't for your own child.
3. It doesn't seem like a healthy functioning relationship you're in.

Do you see a future with the way things are going currently?

Wellactually

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah Number 1 I know, thats where I have a problem.

Number 3 yes correct

In all honesty though I meant nothing by it was just talk, she maintains I was trying to work my way in there.

As for the future I dont know, herself and myself get on ok(most times )but myself and her son dont, even she ould say sometimes I wish he was out of here but obviously no mother is going to do that.

Only way I see a future is when the stepson moves elsewere then she would be welcome, but not as is, I know that sounds bad but unfortunaly how it is so thats what the future holds I think, if that could be called a future

Wellactually

It sounds bad to say that about a `child` but how it is, herself even accepts it as we simply dont on, never have dispite courses etc etc so its either the set up we have or we finish. When working stay at my place when off stay with herself and less rows that way.

That would be whole seprate thread though :eek:, about the current thing of `block her or we`re done`, thats what Id like opinions on

judgefudge

I definitely wouldn't view you telling another woman that you don't get along with your partners child and would be gone if not for your own, as "chit chat". Seriously?? That's really, really not chit chat. And it's essentially insinuating that you wouldn't be with your partner were it not for your child together. How in gods name you view that as chit chat I don't know....

She shouldn't have hacked into your account but I can see why she's pissed off. I dont think shes overreacting, but i dont think you blocking this other woman will solve the problem. To be honest you don't sound like your heart is still in the relationship. If it's more important to you to keep this woman as a Facebook friend than it is to patch things up with "herself" then that doesn't look good.

Wellactually

judgefudge wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't view you telling another woman that you don't get along with your partners child and would be gone if not for your own, as "chit chat". Seriously?? That's really, really not chit chat. And it's essentially insinuating that you wouldn't be with your partner were it not for your child together. How in gods name you view that as chit chat I don't know....

She shouldn't have hacked into your account but I can see why she's pissed off. I dont think shes overreacting, but i dont think you blocking this other woman will solve the problem. To be honest you don't sound like your heart is still in the relationship. If it's more important to you to keep this woman as a Facebook friend than it is to patch things up with "herself" then that doesn't look good.

Hi, yes can see why she upset too and wasnt nice thing to say but was meant in the same context as lads would say Ive a pain in my arse with this would love to f off. I think what makes it worse was a woman.

And no thats not more important, far from it, I could block her in a sec and wouldnt particuraly bother me, but this has happened numerous times, the problem her started soon as I friended her not when said what I did, hence the hacking.

For example, a friend was finalising his divorce after wife cheated and was down over it, I was hacked and had messaged f her get on with life go have a bit of fun etc and was trouble cos I was suggesting have a bit of fun and enjoy yourself, so its not a case of heart not in more a case of same stuff over and over, which in turn am sure helped with the ìd be gone`.

Wellactually

Its not as black and white and seems, has been a long re-occuring thing with nearly every female on fb causing trouble, to the point were I actually didnt want to be added.

Another example to put it into perspective, ex txt me late pissed one night after couple of years few years ago, I showed the next morning outa honesty, she remembered the number and texted her from different sim pretending to be me, Of course I knew nothing about this but after a few days I was in for it cause they had been getting on and could easily meet up with her if wanted :eek:

I think reading this myself answered my own questions, thanks

Chattastrophe!

I feel really bad for the two children caught up in this mess. And especially for the older child, who's being 'blamed' for the problems.

<Mod Note: Tlachtga - welcome to PI/RI. Please note this is a strictly moderated forum - and if you cannot post inline with our charter we ask you not to post here again. The OP has come here for advice, not a judgement.

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Taltos>

Wellactually

Tlachtga wrote: »

I feel really bad for the two children caught up in this mess. And especially for the older child, who's being 'blamed' for the problems.

you say blamed as if im lying? how can you make that assumption when you know nothing about it? And let me tell you my own child wants for nothing and always put first no matter what going on and has enjoys going both places, some kids have one or no parent or parents that dont care you cheeky ****
Should gather all your facts and at least know what your talking about before deciding whose to 'blame'

<Mod Note: Wellactually - please take care in your responses going forward. Personal abuse is not tolerated on this forum, irrespective of the perceived justification. If you have an issue with a post please report it.>

Wellactually

Only reason I came on here was to try get bit of advice not be called a liar or judged. Truth been known I probably wouldnt even look twice at you or either would my 'poor child'. Thanks to those how replied with something worthwhile. can close this now thanks