Being bullied by girls, college wont do anything, help!

LegacyUser

Back in February my girlfriend and her roommate had a fight (I was not involved). As a result of this my girlfriends roommate moved out. Two days later my girlfriends ex roommate went to the university security and claimed I had been threatening her. After a fairly distressing investigation the university found that I couldn't have threatened her as I was not near her or where she said I was at the times she claimed I threatened her.

Since the incident this girl has been spreading rumours that I have been regularly threatening her, that I have hit her and that I have hit my girlfriend. The reason that she is spreading these rumours is that I was good friends with her boyfriend and she wanted to stop us from talking. The reason she wants to stop us talking and reason for the fight with my girlfriend was that she was cheating on her boyfriend (whom I'm friends with) with my girlfriends ex boyfriend who was regularly in the apartment as a result of the cheating.

Since she has been spreading these rumours I have been threated by plenty of people and 'roughed up' by a few of them. When I go the security in the university they will talk to the guys threatening me and give them warnings but security refuse to say anything to the girl spreading the rumours because I am a guy and "she is a girl so she couldn't be causing me any harm" and I need to "get over myself" and "just ignore her".

The last thing that happened was I was pushed against a wall and threatened in the last few days. The uni security have talked to the guy but I don't feel that's enough. I told security I was considering going to the gardaí as I felt that the matter was more serious than they could deal with to which I was told "we have dealt with the matter ourselves internally and if you get anyone else involved we might just loose the cctv of the incident".

So basically I'm being bullied by college security because I was on their backs trying to get them to do their job. I have reported them to other college departments who don't seem to care much at all. Does anyone have any idea what I should do? I'm getting desperate at this stage and have even considered going to the media with this.

IrishEyes19

Your college seems to be very ineffective over this matter so I would go to the gardai. Her allegations are serious. And extremely damaging. dont let this slide. Its not something that will go away and rumours are harmful.

Big Bag of Chips

I'd go to the gardaí, before the media. The media, in the course of the interview/conversation with you, will ask have you reported it to the guards.

The college have no powers or 'right' to stop you from reporting it. The fact that the people are college students isn't wholly relevant. You are being threatened, harassed, and assaulted... You have every right to go to the guards.

It's nothing to do with the college really, as the college security have very little 'authority', to actually do anything about it. Whereas a visit from the guards would carry a lot more weight.

blatantrereg

The guards might not do anything about the girl either. Defamation is a civil matter, not a criminal one - as odd as that may seem to you in a situation like you're in. They would speak to the guys assaulting you, though that wouldn't be dealing with the root of the problem.

You could talk to a solicitor. Look up FLAC - free legal advice clinics that operate around the country. It would seem straightforward enough a case to me, since the college have already proven she's lying.

Pat McGhee

blatantrereg wrote: »

The guards might not do anything about the girl either. Defamation is a civil matter, not a criminal one - as odd as that may seem to you in a situation like you're in. They would speak to the guys assaulting you, though that wouldn't be dealing with the root of the problem.

You could talk to a solicitor. Look up FLAC - free legal advice clinics that operate around the country. It would seem straightforward enough a case to me, since the college have already proven she's lying.

+1 on this. This girl could destroy your reputation and your life in the process. What if she cries rape next? And people will believe her without proof, the aul smoke without fire attitude.

Get yourself some legal advice pronto!

Grumpypants

Get to the guards ASAP from the sounds of things it is only a matter of time before she makes another false allegation against you.

If she has already made false allegations then this is more than just defamation.

Whatever you do don't let it slide you need this on record. Letting it go only hurts you in the short and long term.

RainyDay

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'd go to the gardaí, before the media. The media, in the course of the interview/conversation with you, will ask have you reported it to the guards.

The college have no powers or 'right' to stop you from reporting it. The fact that the people are college students isn't wholly relevant. You are being threatened, harassed, and assaulted... You have every right to go to the guards.

It's nothing to do with the college really, as the college security have very little 'authority', to actually do anything about it. Whereas a visit from the guards would carry a lot more weight.

Good idea, but before you go back to the gardai, go back to college security again first. Leave the voice recorder on your phone 'accidently' running while you meet with them, and see if they'll repeat their threat to 'lose' the CCTV footage.

Then go the Gardai. And go to the college head of security/facilities. And go to the college magazine. And maybe to Joe Duffy as well.

Lenmeister

CollegeTroubles wrote: »

"we have dealt with the matter ourselves internally and if you get anyone else involved we might just loose the cctv of the incident".

LOL? That's disgraceful, can't believe they said that to you. It's an aweful pity you don't have them saying that on tape. Instantly fired from their position. That means they couldn't be arsed dealing with your problem, don't care, and will do anything to make you stop "annoying them with your problems".

What you could do is go to the guards or a solicitor would probably be better, tell them everything that's happened so far, just to keep it on record. Because if push comes to shove and you have a good case, at least you will be on record saying that this has been going on for x amount of time, further reinforcing your case. I'd consider what RainyDay said about the voice recorder. It's something I've done quite a few times before and it worked very well. If you can get them to repeat what they said or something just as bad or worse, that's a major bonus for you.
Do you not have any other friends you can talk to about this? Surely they will help you out. This roommate of hers sounds like a mouthpiece, a right piece of work.

masterkenali88

RainyDay wrote: »

Good idea, but before you go back to the gardai, go back to college security again first. Leave the voice recorder on your phone 'accidently' running while you meet with them, and see if they'll repeat their threat to 'lose' the CCTV footage.

Then go the Gardai. And go to the college head of security/facilities. And go to the college magazine. And maybe to Joe Duffy as well.

It might be better if the media were kept out of it at this stage.

ABajaninCork

CollegeTroubles wrote: »

Back in February my girlfriend and her roommate had a fight (I was not involved). As a result of this my girlfriends roommate moved out. Two days later my girlfriends ex roommate went to the university security and claimed I had been threatening her. After a fairly distressing investigation the university found that I couldn't have threatened her as I was not near her or where she said I was at the times she claimed I threatened her.

Since the incident this girl has been spreading rumours that I have been regularly threatening her, that I have hit her and that I have hit my girlfriend. The reason that she is spreading these rumours is that I was good friends with her boyfriend and she wanted to stop us from talking. The reason she wants to stop us talking and reason for the fight with my girlfriend was that she was cheating on her boyfriend (whom I'm friends with) with my girlfriends ex boyfriend who was regularly in the apartment as a result of the cheating.

Since she has been spreading these rumours I have been threated by plenty of people and 'roughed up' by a few of them. When I go the security in the university they will talk to the guys threatening me and give them warnings but security refuse to say anything to the girl spreading the rumours because I am a guy and "she is a girl so she couldn't be causing me any harm" and I need to "get over myself" and "just ignore her".

The last thing that happened was I was pushed against a wall and threatened in the last few days. The uni security have talked to the guy but I don't feel that's enough. I told security I was considering going to the gardaí as I felt that the matter was more serious than they could deal with to which I was told "we have dealt with the matter ourselves internally and if you get anyone else involved we might just loose the cctv of the incident".

So basically I'm being bullied by college security because I was on their backs trying to get them to do their job. I have reported them to other college departments who don't seem to care much at all. Does anyone have any idea what I should do? I'm getting desperate at this stage and have even considered going to the media with this.

Being pushed against a wall and roughed up is assault. And therefore a criminal matter. So it's not just defamation as some posters seem to think...

I'd just hand the whole lot over to the Gards now. I wouldn't bother to involve the college any more.

I'd also tell Girlfriend that she needs to knock off the playground crap, or the Gards will be paying her a visit. She needs to think about her J1/visa for Oz if this ever gets to court...

username123

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Being pushed against a wall and roughed up is assault. And therefore a criminal matter. So it's not just defamation as some posters seem to think...

I'd just hand the whole lot over to the Gards now. I wouldn't bother to involve the college any more.

I'd also tell Girlfriend that she needs to knock off the playground crap, or the Gards will be paying her a visit. She needs to think about her J1/visa for Oz if this ever gets to court...

+1

Wouldnt even think twice about it, straight to the guards.

Queen-Mise

+ 1 on going to the authorities.

I would also send the college/security a solicitors letter, over their inaction on this.

Document everything you can remember, and get your friends to back you up if you can.

You do not want to end up in hospital for getting a beating for something that was created maliciously. And this might get very dodgy if you met some of these people with drinks in and inhibitions lowered.

Protect yourself OP.

blatantrereg

Assault is assault and would be addressed by the guards, like I said.
Spreading lies about someone is defamation, and is a civil matter, regardless whether instigates assault.

LegacyUser

this girl is quite the idiot. As they say, empty barrels make the most noise.

She is defaming you in a big way. Even though it is a civil matter you should definitely inform the gaurds just to have a note made and then talk to your solicitor immediately.

Depending on your wishes to sue or not your solicitor will advise you on the best course of action.
One option would be to have the solicitor sent her a registered letter asking here to cease and desist or legal proceedings will be taken. If she has half a brain at all this should be enough to make her see sense.
If she continues defaming you, I would take legal action. But really there is only any point in doing this is she or her family have anything that they can pay you damages out of.
The court might rule that she take out a loan to pay your damages.

I'm doubtful if they can order her to liquidate assets to pay you. Like they couldn't order the family home liquidated.

Either way, this is very serious. I would have no sympathy for this clown. Go to town on her. See who's laughing then.

Diziet

If you are in college, have you talked to your tutor about this? College security are primarily focused on protecting college property and they are not going to be of much help. Your tutor and your girlfriend's tutor would be the people to talk to.

Overheal

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Your college seems to be very ineffective over this matter so I would go to the gardai. Her allegations are serious. And extremely damaging. dont let this slide. Its not something that will go away and rumours are harmful.

Nevermind that, security admitted they would be willing to destroy evidence.

That is criminal in itself.