Boyfriend going on a lad's holiday

LegacyUser

So as per the thread title, my boyfriend is going on a lads holiday in June.
The problem is, he's going with 4 single friends. They're the type that would frequent the same club every week and pull all the in-coming girls that step foot in there. He wouldn't be out with them on weekends so it's a chance for him to hang out with friends he hasn't seen in a while - great.
However, the situation in my mind is that they'll all go on the pull, what's he meant to do while the three of them are stuck in? Or worse, what if they try convince him to do the same? I'm not saying he'd willingly do it, but how many times have people been peer pressured into doing things they wouldn't normally do? I'd trust him with my life, it's just this situation has me a bit on edge.

The second issue I have is that earlier this year we went on holidays to France and I paid for the flights and accommodation for us both as a xmas/birthday present. I was delighted to do it at the time, but because of that, I just can't afford to go on holidays with my own friends.
We both are students working part time, but he gets more hours than me (and it doesn't help I'm working for less than minimum wage) but I could afford France because of a money gift, (he never would have been able to as all his wages go towards rent) and he can afford his holiday because he's getting a deposit back in May.
One of my friends is on and on and on about me going on holiday but she just doesn't get that I can't afford it. I'm one of her only friends so she can't ask anyone else and she's pretty let down.
So that has me pretty jealous and slightly miffed. I would never take France back, I'm just a bit miffed it turned out this way I guess.

ElleEm

I'm confused- you "trust your boyfriend with your life", yet you are scared that he will get peer pressured into cheating on you. He is a grown up, he will either choose to stay faithful or not. It doesn't say much for his friends if you think they will "convince him" to cheat.
These sort of threads come along all the time, with girls/ lads saying "I trust my partner, but...". You either trust him or you don't.

You should really try to forget about the fact that he is going on a second holiday this year and you aren't. It seems so petty of you to be "miffed" about this. You brought him on holiday as a gift, it just seems a bit mad that you are nearly using that as an excuse to be annoyed with him. You chose to bring him on holiday, and obviously knew that your financial situation wouldn't be changing to allow you to take a summer holiday. At risk of sounding harsh, just get over it. This is the sort of stuff that could create a really bad atmosphere in a relationship.

Brego888

ElleEm said everything i was gonna say above. The crux being that you either trust him or you don't.

car.kar

I've been in a similar situation - ex boyfriend went away with a group of mates, most of them single, so I know the worrying feeling. I'm sorry to repeat what previous posters have said, but you either trust him or you don't, there's really not much else to it.

As for the friend situation, could you even afford a cheap weekend somewhere, like grab some cheap flights to London? Or even stay in Ireland and just head to Galway or something? Is she looking for a proper sun and beach holiday, or would she be happy to even just get away for a few days?

judgefudge

Hmm. I have to say I've been in your situation in the past, with my boyfriend going abroad and me feeling uneasy. So I can understand where you are coming from. However, looking back, the only time I've felt like that was when I was with someone I didn't trust.

So it sounds like you don't trust him to me. Whether that's down to your own insecurities or something he is doing... I don't know.

I can see why you'd be disappointed that circumstances don't allow you to go away with your mates, but that's not his fault. You could try to organise some sort of get together or excursion for the time he's away on holidays. That way you get to see your mates and you won't be sitting at home driving yourself crazy with worry!

finbarrk

Go away somewhere yourself at the same time. Anywhere would do.