Years Without Girlfriend

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Want to go admin for this on something thats been bothering me. Basically im 25 and ive ever only had one girlfriend in my life and we finished 3 years ago. Now we got together when we were 18 and took me years to get over the heartbreak of it and i am over it now buts it bugs me that i cant seem to meet the right person.
Now i was never much of a going out person and didnt drink a whole lot and its only been really the last year i started to come out of my shell as im very shy especially to people who i wouldnt know.
Not being cocky but when im out i do get attention off woman and am told i am an attractive person but i can never seem to meet the right woman and this is getting to me and i know its due to my shyness. Example my last night out i was dancing with the lads and this attractive lady came over to me and said i "hot" but me being shy i jst frooze and did this weird laugh and she kinda ended up drifting off. Same evening was just being drunk enjoying my night when got talking to this other lady who turned out went to college dont remember her but she said she always had a crush on me and again i freeze and say thank you and just go really awkward and again nothing happens from it.


Now i have seen plenty of women over the years since my ex and i split but it has always been with someone i have been friends with but has never turned into a bf/gf thing and generally things aint the same after that and friendship kinda gets ruined which i dont like. I have never though been able to meet a girl out get her number and go on a date and see what happens never and its not like i have not had the chances i have all the time but just let my shyness get the better of me and it tends to make things awkward and im at the stage now where i would like to meet someone again and have that closeness with someone.

Would love someones advice on this please?? Thanks for reading!

IrishEyes19

dont be too worried. It happens to everyone especially when you were with someone you liked before, its hard to put yourself out there again to new people. Of course there will always be some degree of awkwardness involved. I would just say, since you are very shy and find the initial conversation starters tough, maybe have a few key sentences prepared. I know it sounds very formal and people might say, it should be at ease and relaxed. its clearly the relaxing part you are struggling with. So just open with. busy/quiet night here. if there's a band playing, comment on it. focus on everything thats happening around you in the venue and talk about that. Because everyone has an opinion on it. Then when you have established some common ground and relax a little. ask about them. is this bar/club their usual haunt? you in college/working? you'll know after a few minutes whats appropriate to ask and what is isn't. I know shyness is a killer, but you just need to take the risk and step over it now. you might get shot down in the first few instances, but thats perfectly normal. It happens to everyone!! best of luck

Lux23

I had lots of little relationships, but really I was single from I was 22 till I was 30 so don't worry about it mate - have some fun and the right girl will come along.