pregnant - will prob never work again?

LegacyUser

So for over a year before my fiance and I decided to give it a shot (I'm 33) I hadn't been able to find a job, no matter how hard I tried. My career was a non-starter and the last job I had was as an intern at the grand old age of 32, despite having very good educational qualifications (a 1.1 degree), they ended up amounting to nothing. Its not an area where there actually are any jobs, particularly where I live and particularly since the economic downturn. So my CV is a mish-mash of jobs that I had to work over the years to make ends meet - nothing coherent, nothing of any use to any employer so it seems. I'm delighted and all and my boyfriend and I are happy (although not exactly financially ready)...but lets face it, will I ever work again? If I haven't been able to find a job when I was baby-free no employer is going to give me a chance in a year's time when I've been nearly three years out of the jobs market! I'm freaked out about money and the fact that my boyfriend will be the only breadwinner even though he's on crap enough money as it is. Anyone else ever have to deal with this?? I'd love to hear particularly from mums

Diziet

The fact that you haven't been able to find a job abd the fact you are now pregnant are two different issues. If there is no work in your area then you eirhter need to retrain for jobs that are available where you are, or move to a place that there is more work available.

Taking a few years off with a young child is bound to impact your career prospects to an extent, but it does not look like you are leaving a career, from your description. If you want to build a career, then you need to seriously address why you have not had a decent longish term job that builds towards a career, and work towards fixing these issues.

In the meantime, congratulations - babies are absolute magic, they are small for a very short time, so enjoy the time you have with them!

LegacyUser

My mum didn't start her business until after she had me when she was 30. She worked on short contracts after she got married but nothing really to advance her career. My parents tried to start a family and she had a number of issues including a still birth so when I was born she said she was going to be a stay at home mum but after about year she was so bored so she switched careers, retrained via distance learning and got a loan from her dad to start her own business. She had my sister 4 years after that but kept working and built a very successful career for herself. I'm not going to claim it was easy, she had to work pretty hard to balance family and work but it's not impossible. Enjoy your pregnancy and time with your baby but don't write off working again, see it as a chance to switch focus and careers rather then a death knell to working.

username123

Of course you can work again but you may not be able to work in the area in which you originally studied.

Given that you are 33, I am assuming that your original degree is over 10 years old? I think to be blunt about it, if you havent got a career going on the back of a 1:1 over 10 years later, then its time to re-examine your career ideas. This is nothing to do with pregnancy, just a practical look at life.

You need to take your original education further (if that would help with getting a job, maybe it wouldnt?), retrain into another area or accept unskilled work.

ifElseThen

My wife is in the same sort of position. Look to maybe 5 years down the line when the child is in school, and you can then look to take up work part time, reintroducing yourself to the world of work.
If your partner is low-paid and you have to take any job, it might not be worth your while financially going back with childcare costs etc.

We chose for my wife to stay at home and while the loss of the 2nd wage is a bit of a pain, we are covering our bills etc.
We worked out that if she was to return full time after our 2nd child, with childcare costs, fuel, insurance, road tax, second car, her net hourly rate would be €4 an hour or an extra €650 a month. So we decided each hour with the children was worth a lot more than €4 so we opted for her to stay at home.
Since then we've got pregnant again so she is currently back working 1 day a weel while pregnant with our 3rd to qualify for her maternity benefit.

And the main thing is that she is spending time with the children while they need her most. Those first formative years really fly by and I'd much rather that in 30 years we feel no guilt about going back to work.

Once the baby is say 2 and a bit more independent, maybe you could look to retrain or do a part-time conversion masters to open up other areas of employment.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies, they're really helpful. Basically a lot had to do with my change of location to be with my now-fiance, it limited my opportunities a great deal. I was working over in London but when I came home I found myself unable to get work. I know that time at home will be the best for my child or children that come later, and hopefully I'll be able to use the time to re-think my career plans. I actually have a business qualification already (from only 2 years ago!) but I'm a long way off from being able to put that into action in terms of setting up my own business. Again, location has quite a lot to do with it, but you never know! I want to be happy, and I am, but I already feel the money pressure and stress of bills etc down the line and I shouldn't be stressed right now. Thanks again everyone.

StillWaters

What do you want to do, do you want to start your own business or be an employee? A baby is not a handicap to work. Many many people build their careers or businessess whilst they are parents, even when the baby is young.

username123

I was thinking about this last night, if you remember that an average working life is considered to be about 40+ years, with many pension schemes only allowing entry after 25 years of age, you are only 33 - and you wont retire til you are 66.

So you are writing off your working life 33 years before it is due to end, with only a decade of working life behind you. Youre not even a quarter of the way into a working life!

Sunny Dayz

The fact that you are now expecting should not put a halt to any career plans - not unless you let it!

you have a had a tough few years work wise and it is disappointing when the career you had envisaged disappears through no fault of your own. You need to focus now on what you want to do in your future and how you are going to go about it. This is a fresh start for you.

Most importantly you need the drive to achieve what you want in your career, and the baby should be your motivation for that. And be positive!

(I know what I'm talking about - I got pregnant in college, and it made me determined to do the best for my little bundle, including getting a good job)

mood

If you decide to be a stay at home mother for a number of years you could always be a child minder in you own home. This is unlikely to help your career when you decide to return to work but at least you will be earning money and take the pressure off you OH.