My True love

LegacyUser

Hi

I just want somewhere to basically rant.

I was going out with my ex for 6 years and we broke up 3 years ago. He was my true love, I was crazy about him & him about me. The only downfall he had was drink and in the end this is why I left him.

I started seeing a fabulous guy a year later and we have been going out 2 years now.
I do love him, I have never doubted that for a second, however every so often my ex seems to get back inside my head.

I don't want to get back with my ex - there is no future for us and I know in my gut things would end up the same, him drinking excessively.
I have a great opportunity to be very happy with my BF and I do love him to bits, but why does my ex still keep popping up in my head?

IrishEyes19

It's a little confusing. You say he was your true love. Was or Is. Thats the deal breaker here in your current relationship. People we have strong connections with, never truly leave our minds in my opinion, but when you are love with someone else, it just becomes a faint thought the odd time. It shouldnt be bothering or upsetting you, so to speak.

you say you have no future and dont want to get back with him. If thats the case, well then maybe something triggered memories recently and you need to deal with those and move on.

blatantrereg

I'd stop thinking of him as your true love anyway. That attitude is a bit childish, and pretty much precludes moving on properly.

Taltos

blatantrereg wrote: »

I'd stop thinking of him as your true love anyway. That attitude is a bit childish, and pretty much precludes moving on properly.

Absolutely - if I was your current partner and heard you referring to your ex as your true love I would be devastated and would rightly end it with you there and then...

Lorna123

We all have a tendency to look back at ex's from time to time and wonder how they are doing, but that's all it is. Had your ex been the right guy for you you would still be with him. So concentrate on your present b/f.

username123

You are totally romanticising the ex. You are remembering some kind of imaginary way that things were or how you wanted them to be and believed they could be. But the reality is - they werent that way. You did break up. It wasnt the great love to end all loves. Remembering things with this "it would have been great but....." is not picturing reality. Its picturing the world of "would have been, could have been" - but wasnt.

Talking about him as your true love is frankly insulting to your current partner and it totally stops you from moving on to be remembering him that way.

Katgurl

You have developed a bad habit & need to stop. I used to refer to my ex as the Love of my Life'. I did it for years. It cememts it into your head as fact & stops you moving on. Your ex is not your 'True Love', stop calling him that. His choice to drink, not get help, not stop, are all parts of HIM, not some add-on that is beyond his control.

Are you sure you are happy with your current boyfriend? Perhaps that is the issue here.

PlainP

I would say he's your first love not your true love. You would still be together if he was your true love.
There is a reason he's your ex.
It's ok to think about your past and good times you spent together but live your life for today, stay in the present and look to the future. Enjoy your time now with your boyfriend, life's too short.

Candycrush

blatantrereg wrote: »

I'd stop thinking of him as your true love anyway. That attitude is a bit childish, and pretty much precludes moving on properly.

OP I know how you feel as I was here before too.
Childish - no.
Everyone deals and copes with things differently. For me I found it hard to except that things were really over and I kept expecting him to walk back through the door.
There are valid reasons why you broke up and you need to keep these in mind.

You seem to be in a better place/relationship now so I would concentrate on that.

Lux23

This happens to me a little bit about an ex of mine, it is probably about 8 years since I have seen him and I am madly in love with someone else now, but still if someone mentions the ex or if I hear a song that remind me of him I end up right back in that place again. But it is only momentary, and I go back to remembering how lucky I am with my boyfriend and how much I love him.