Save the date cards

jos28

Is it very rude not to 'Save the Date' if you were sent one of these. Basically we received one of these cards months ago for a wedding this summer. I emailed the bride to say thanks at the time. Now the date is looming and I have the chance to go on holidays that week. It's a chance to spend time with my son who is working abroad and it is the only week he can get off. I don't know the couple very well, they are distantly related on my in-laws side. I have never met the groom and haven't seen the bride since she made her communion. I was really surprised that we were even on the guest list.
I don't want to upset anyone or appear rude but I don't want to pass up the chance of a week away either. How would all you brides feel if someone ignored your request to save the date.

ElleEm

I certainly don't see "Save the Date" cards as a request to save the date, more of an indication of "we are getting married on that date, invites to follow". As long as you RSVP, declining the wedding invite, then there shouldn't be any issue. As you said yourself, you are not close to the bride, and have never met the groom. You not being there is unlikely to ruin their day :pac:

Go on holiday and have a great time!

Cailleachdubh

I agree. It's just a 'heads up' that there's a wedding on that date. No obligation on your part to give up all your other plans for it, Whether you decide to attend or not is up to you. Just RSVP as soon as you can saying you're sorry but can't attend and there won't be any issue! Enjoy the holiday with your son.

jos28

Thanks for the replies, feel better about saying no now. The poor bride has recently lost her job so I am sure she might be relieved to cross us off the list !

tinkerbell

Ah yeah, don't feel bad OP - a save the date is not an invite anyway! Besides, going on hols to spend time with your son is far more important. Also, since you don't even know the bride & groom that well I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

Gatica

agreed.... nothing wrong with your priorities here. You don't know them that well, so they won't be devastated and as you said may even save them a few quid. Enjoy your holiday!

pooch90

Is Save the Dates something that many people are doing?
I'd like to do it as our wedding is on at a busy time in the summertime (next year) but I think we might just look like people following American etiquette rules and costing ourselves unnecessary money.

Gatica

If it's something you'd enjoy having and sending pretty cards to all the guests, a few months before you send the actual invites, then fine, do it.

But as long as people are told the date, sending cards is pointless IMO and expensive. As soon as we had the wedding booked we called close family, invited friends on facebook, emailed others and passed on the word to extended family. People, whom it was the most important to us to have there, would've been told defo anyway.

solerina

to be honest I dont get these cards at all....they are so American and yet another way to get hard earned cash off gullible people...but OP I would go on the holiday and send your apologies to the couple...they are another invitation not a bonding contract !!