feel second best

jealouslove

i am with my boyfriend for the past 1 year 1 month. i love him to pieces. although ive had boyfriends before he is the best for me and the one that suits me perfectly. i feel like we were made for each other.
i actualy cant even find one flaw with him in general. he treats me like a princess. he is always there for me when i need him and he is a great listener. i feel like he loves me so much too. its as if he was my perfect man made especially for me. even when we fight we make up so easily and quickly. however i have noticed one small thing that gets me down about him.
he had his heart broken 4 years when his ex left him alone. he never really opens up to me about this ex but i had assumed they had no contact anymore. that is what he led me to believe.
a few months into our relationship, she called him and he acted very strange when she rang. i saw her name come up on his phone. he tried to lie that she was calling him but had to admit it when i said i saw the name. when i asked him why she was calling, he told me to give him some space. maybe im wrong but i felt like it was my business to know why the man i love is talking to his ex. i decided to leave the topic as when i asked his voice went 10 times higher, he became panicky and looked like he was having a nervous breakdown.
ive noticed about 3 more times since then her calling him and each time he pretended it was his friend until i confronted him about it. i always know when its her because his tone changes and he gets all defensive. he will literally never open up to me about their relationship. i find it strange that she still calls him even after so much time has passed.. i suppose im worried that he is still harbouring secret feelings for her. if it wasnt for this i would marry the guy tomorrow but im feeling like if she wanted him back he would go.
am i being silly?
is it possible for him to still have feelings for her and love me at the same time?

daisybelle2008

jealouslove wrote: »

he had his heart broken 4 years when his ex left him alone.

i decided to leave the topic as when i asked his voice went 10 times higher, he became panicky and looked like he was having a nervous breakdown.

OP, by 'left him alone' I assume you mean split up? To be honest 4 years is a long time to still be cut up about it. I would be uncomfortable with him lying to you about her ringing and his reaction is completely over the top.
Is it possible he has a child with this woman? How old were they when the split up? I would not drop it, there is something strange about it. I have no problem with exes being friends and staying in contact, if it is upfront and honest with no agenda. This however sounds dodgy, It is up to him to come clean about it.

Magicmatilda

"]i am with my boyfriend for the past 1 year 1 month. i love him to pieces. although ive had boyfriends before he is the best for me and the one that suits me perfectly. i feel like we were made for each other.
i actualy cant even find one flaw with him in general. - except of course he is lying to you? How can you say the about about a man who is being dishonest with you about his contact with another woman? And a relationship in which you feel you can't discuss this dishonesty but instead have to "drop it"? How is that "being made for each other".

Who knows what is going on? All you know is the man is lying to you. I wouldn't tolerate that dishonesty.

kat.mac

He's being shady and downright dishonest. Don't accept it.