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Never get past 1st dates !!!

  • 12-04-2013 12:34pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys i have to go un reg for this

    Anyway u am a 21 year old lad i no i am still very young. I would be considered tall, mixed race, dress really well, looks after him self But i would be considered a computer nerd

    But anyway heres the problem over the last few mouths i have been on quite a few 1st dates with maybe 8 or more girls. But i can never get past a 1st date with any of them and i am beginning to think i am the problem why i can never get more then a 1st date in the last year i have only have been with a girl for 2 weeks on to she txted me saying i am back with my boyfriend nice knowing you.

    Like i was out on a date last night met up for a few drinks chatted for nearly 5 hours and then i walked her home as i was not going to let a girl go home by herself. Then anyway i woke up this mooring and looked at my phone and got a txt from her saying O your sound and really nice but i am seeing someone and i can't met up again sorry :).

    Then i met a girl before that and i was charing to her online for 2 weeks to all hours in the mooring then we met up and we chatted for ages but i had to get to work. But massaged her the next day and she replayed that i am to good for her and i am to nice and i would make any other girl happy but not her

    There is a lot more like this but at this stage its just getting very upsetting on me as like am i the problem ? at this stage and no idea what to do with myself and i no not all 1st dates are going to work out but a lot of them in a row you begin to think and am i just going for the wrong girls ? all the time


Comments

  • Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    OP is this online dating?
    It sounds like you are meeting these women for the first time on your first date. I'm afraid to say that you will meet many girls who simply dont feel that spark of attraction. Its no reflection on you.

    There is an online dating forum here on Boards - its not a forum for flirting or arranging dates, but a private space for members to discuss their experiences in online dating, the sites that they are on, ask for feedback, that sort of thing. If you are interested in joining you should privately message Knucklehead6 for access.

    Its a new forum, so there are lots of people asking for access at the moment. One thing I do know from the former Online Dating Chat thread in The Gentlemans Club is that its a numbers game, you have to have a lot of dates before you meet someone you might have a second date or more with.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    It sounds like you're meeting girls who are looking for a bit of fun, rather than a relationship - especially since a couple of them appear to have already been in relationships. My guess is that you're being respectful and taking things slow while you're meeting women who are just after sex.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 339 ✭✭maria34


    im just wondering how fast u arrange dates? do u talk with them first for a while or u go out straight after chit chat?

    if u dont know who they are and what they are really looking for then u might waste your time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Are you perhaps setting yourself up for failure by trying to play a role, ie. being *too* nice, etc? If you're not being entirely yourself, thats going to create issues where your date simply won't trust you, or in some cases, depending on their own mental state, will feel they aren't good enough for your perfect presentation.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Anyway u am a 21 year old lad i no i am still very young. I would be considered tall, mixed race, dress really well, looks after him self But i would be considered a computer nerd

    The fact that you say this makes me believe that you let it be a point that defines you. If that's the case then you need to meet people with more similar interests to you, or else change so that this isn't a defining trait.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,737 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Are you primarily internet dating, OP? If so then the problem may well be that you meet the woman fir the first time on the date, and she simply isn't attracted to you. I'd recommend joining a club or society and meeting women through that. That way when you ask them out they already know if they like you or not, so your chances with a second date would improve.


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