Lying boyfriend or not? Tesco staff mobile policy?

cheesed girlfriend

My relationship is strained at the moment. First 6 months, usual bliss. Then his friends move into his flat from their gap year away and I can't stay at his any more. Fine, stay at mine. We usually see each other 3/4 nights a week, and go on some outing once a week. He works fri sat and sun nights and I don't see him at weekend because of this. He works mon tue and thursday delivering evenings. All he seems to do in between is sleep. I haven't met his parents, due to his culture, and he refuses to travel 2 hours to meet mine. He's 35 I'm 22. We've been dating a year and a few months. He's come up with the excuse that his new manager doesn't allow mobile phone usage on his night shift, and that he's been working since the 29th now the tenth with one day off, which he slept through. I can smell his lies, and have done for a long time. Is it really tesco policy to not let workers use phones on shift? He stacks shelves.

StaticNoise

All I can say is that most retailers are against mobile phones on the shop floor. I know of one that will discipline you on the spot, with a written warning.

LegacyUser

cheesed girlfriend wrote: »

Is it really tesco policy to not let workers use phones on shift? He stacks shelves.

It is, yeah. Why would he need a phone stacking shelves?

This is about far more than a phone though.

Gatling

StaticNoise wrote: »

All I can say is that most retailers are against mobile phones on the shop floor. I know of one that will discipline you on the spot, with a written warning.

I've been in most of the major food store's while packing has been taken place and I've never not seen staff using mobiles txt,'s and calls ,
Walk through a supermarket during the day you will see staff on there phones in most isles,
Its sounds odd he can't meet your family due to his culture or doesn't get days off ,
Chances are he wants all the fun but none of the commitment

cheesed girlfriend

Do you know which one?

ziedth

cheesed girlfriend wrote: »

Do you know which one?

I have worked in retail for ten years and it's definitely common for bigger shops to ban phones on the floor. It seems Well within reason that it could be a pet peeve for a new manager.

cheesed girlfriend

That's true, but he works at night, so no customers on the floor. Why didn't last manager care. sigh*

Toots

I worked in retail back in 2004 and even then we weren't allowed phones on the shop floor at all, they had to be kept in our lockers and we got in loads of trouble if we were caught using them in the store. I didn't work in tesco, but it wouldn't surprise me if that was the rule. Can he not even text you when he's on his break? I know it's night work, but years ago when my hubby worked nights he'd always send me a little text on his break and it'd be there when I woke up.

cheesed girlfriend

He tells me he'll call on break and I stay up, and he doesn't bother

Merkin

cheesed girlfriend wrote: »

He tells me he'll call on break and I stay up, and he doesn't bother

He doesn't sound bothered about the relationship.Period.What are you getting from this relationship exactly?

username123

Listen, the fact that you have come online to ask internet strangers if its REALLY true that Tesco dont allow staff to use mobile phones while working says as much as needs to be said about your relationship.

You dont trust him, you are insecure in the relationship, you are dancing to his tune and whether or not Tesco let staff use mobiles is not going to change this.

What was your intention - to show him this thread and say "People say you CAN use your phone in work - SO THERE!". Trying to score points is not a healthy relationship.

I think you know that you are getting the rough end of the stick here. You are 22. Move on and find a man who treats you as you want to be treated.

ABajaninCork

If he's working, then he's working. Unless it's an emergency, then he shouldn't be making or receiving private calls. Not only is it company policy, it is professional and common sense. So yeah - he's telling the truth.

But as others have said. You don't trust him. You're a young woman. Why are you wasting time chasing after and checking up on someone you clearly don't trust?

Hardonraging

cheesed girlfriend wrote: »

I haven't met his parents, due to his culture, and he refuses to travel 2 hours to meet mine. He's 35 I'm 22.

Is it really tesco policy to not let workers use phones on shift? He stacks shelves.

Two things here, what "culture" is he from, and secondly, he's not pushed to meet ure folks either because he's ashamed of his job, or cos he doesn't give a damn about you.

Secondly, I know a girl who also works in tesco, does the stocking at night, and she's never has any issue replying to my text's.

That being said, diff stores / diff managers so who knows ..

mtjm

I know my mother had worked in a big store and she had her phone in her locker, that being said even if you ring it, he'll check it on his break he may ring you back, but i do agree with others that most phones aren't allowed to be used while working.

Looking into your mail you seem to have trust issues, I do think you should sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel either way you can't go on for ever thinking if he's lying or not it needs to be resolved sooner rather than later as it can eat at you

cheesed girlfriend

cheesed girlfriend wrote: »

I can smell his lies, and have done for a long time.

That's all you need to know really. You don't trust him, so talk to him about it.

As for the phone thing, why on earth do you need him to get in touch while he's working a night shift?? Whether it's policy or not, it looks pretty bad if you're caught texting while you're supposed to be working. I leave my phone in my bag in the canteen when I'm working, even though other employees use theirs. It's a distraction and I can't imagine there's anything anyone would have to say to me that wouldn't keep until after my shift and I don't want to spend my break doing anything other than taking a break, so I leave my phone in my bag until afterwards. The guy shouldn't need an excuse to not text you during his shift. As for the sleeping, I'd suggest it might be because he's extremely tired.

If you're not happy with the state of the relationship, do something about it, but there's nothing you've stated in your post that actually puts any blame on him. Maybe the two of you just aren't compatible lifestyle-wise.

not yet

Could he be married...

littleblackDRS

Yeah, I work in tesco, we're not allowed to use our phones at all during our shift, we're supposed to leave it in the lockers.

Contessa Raven

I would have thought all retail jobs wouldn't allow mobiles unless they were necessary as part of the job. I used to work in Boots and we had to leave our phones in our lockers and in the job I'm in now, we've to leave our phones in our bags (on silent), away from the counter.

The phone isn't the issue here though. The issue is you don't trust your boyfriend and he doesn't seem all that bothered that you're suspicious or upset. Have you spoken to your boyfriend about these issues? If not, you need to do this. I mean a serious discussion. If he doesn't do anything to make more of an effort after this conversation then I'd end it. No point wasting your time on someone who clearly isn't invested in this as much as you.

littleblackDRS

Yeah, I don't really think the problem is whether or not he's allowed to use his phone. You obviously don't trust him. You should probably sit down and think about what you really want, and then talk it out with him.

Toast4532

true-or-false wrote: »

That's all you need to know really. You don't trust him, so talk to him about it.

Agree with this.

In all the times I have been in supermarket (never at night though and I've never worked in one) I have never, ever seen any staff member with a mobile phone, either supervisors/managers, cashiers or floor workers and to be honest, while your boyfriend is at work, he shouldn't be using his phone unless he is on a break, he is there to work, not to text you. He can text/ring/contact you when he isn't working so I think it is unreasonable for you to expect him to contact you while he is working, he is paid to do a job and that job does not involve texting you during working hours.

You don't trust him so you need to sit down with him and explain the problems and and hopefully you can work through them, but in order to work through the problems you need to start trusting him, because if you don't trust him, you don't have much of a relationship.

will.i.am

Well in most jobs your not allowed to use mobile pones while working no matter what time of day it is. Simply because its unprofessional. In extreme circumstances example you had a family member in hospital or you were expecting an important call then if would be okay for you to have your phone with you.
The reason for him sleeping might be he just might be tired but at least you see him 3/4 nights a week.
As for not meeting his parents and him not meeting yours. He first off all might feel embarrassed about going out with such a younger woman and his family might dis approve of this. Also he might have difficult with his parent at home and there might be issues going on with them that he might not want you to know about yet. If he meets your parents he'l be under more pressure for you to meet his.
Another issue about the texting is I know lots of guys who ate girls/women constantly texting/calling them. He might like a bit of alone time to himself and he might consider ye're relationship has enough contact at the moment.

Stavro Mueller

Whether he can or can't use the phone during his job isn't the only issue at play here.

I could be taking up the tone of the OP's post wrong because I'm sure she is at the end of her tether but she sounds a bit demanding to be honest. She said they're seeing each other 3/4 nights a week and go on an outing once a week. So it's not as if he's avoiding her as such. She has also decided that because he can't use his mobile phone while he's working that he's telling her lies.

On the other hand, I'm curious to know what culture he is. Why is he refusing to meet the OP's parents and not letting her see his? What is he hiding is the first question I thought of. Does he come from a background where liaising with women outside his culture is frowned upon?

LegacyUser

If he is 35 and your 22 have you meet his friends yet? Have you met anyone who is not working in Tesco with him? Why can he never get a weekend off or even get a Saturday night off?
If I was a man of 35 going out with a woman of 22 I would be introducing her to my friends and family. Maybe this man see's you as someone to have sex with until he has an arranged marriage or he is already married.
I think this guy has something to hide when he is going out with you for over 12 months and neither of you have meet each others parents.
I don't think you are getting any thing from this relationship - he moved in and is still working every weekend and is out working 6 nights a week between Tesco and his other job.
Also most men of your boyfriends age want to move a relationship on - ie meeting each others parents and getting to know family members and friends.
At this stage I would tell him I you to get next Sat night off from work as my parents want to meet you and see what his reply is.
If he is not willing to do this I would tell him to move out as you are not going to put up with being his bit on the side.