Lending money

LegacyUser

Right-a friend of mine in another country, starting a new life, needs money (bout e500) to buy transport in order to go out and look for a job.

They asked me for the money. I want to give it to them, but Im very odd with lending people money.

What would you guys do?

tinkerbell

Not lend. Don't mix money and friends - it never ends well. If he wants the money, let him go to a bank / credit union or let him ask someone in his family who will lend it to him. He might not pay you back if he can't find a job and then you're stuck with a friend who owes you 500.

judgefudge

I wouldn't lend it. What if they get transport but can't get a job? You may never see the money back and it could ruin a good relationship. I just wouldn't lend money to a friend to be honest though

ABajaninCork

Did they not budget for transportation when they moved? Or they could ask their family for a loan.

Personally - unless it's someone you know and trust very well, then the answer would be 'No', I'm afraid.

Toots

Don't lend it, there's too much of a risk that you won't get it back and it would undoubtedly have a negative effect on your friendship. I'd say the best thing you could do is just tell them you haven't got the money to lend, as opposed to saying you don't want to lend it to them.

Rosy Posy

I don't lend money to people any more. It just causes problems within a friendship. If they take their time about getting it back to you you can have awkwardness around asking for it or them avoiding you (in person or online). It also can set up a precedent for them or others asking again.

I have given money to a friend in need without an expectation of getting it back, however. I don't know if you have the means or the inclination to do this.

rock22

lendingmoney wrote: »

Right-a friend of mine in another country, starting a new life, needs money (bout e500) to buy transport in order to go out and look for a job.

They asked me for the money. I want to give it to them, but Im very odd with lending people money.

What would you guys do?

If you are close to your friend and want to help them get started then give them the money. Treat it as a gift - because your friend may not be in a position to pay back for some time if they need to borrow €500 now.

If you are not close to your friend and have no real desire to help them then say no.

Lending to a friend like this means that you must resolve to either lose the €500 or the friendship!

Esoteric_

Are they a close friend? Have you loaned them money before, and had it paid back in a timely manner? I think these are important things to ask yourself.

I will generally lend money to certain people, who I know will pay it back. Those are my sisters, my parents and one of my friends. Aside from that, I generally won't lend money to somebody unless they're other family members and are extremely stuck. It can destroy a friendship if the person doesn't pay it back.

movingsucks

Would they do the same for you?
Would you be stuck if it took them longer than expected to pay it back?
Or if they paid it back in installments?
If you would be putting yourself on the line then don't or maybe offer a smaller amount?
I have loaned to friends and family before, sometimes I get it back others I don't.
But at the same time there's been times when I needed a place to stay and the same friend has put me up or helped me move or stuff like that and if I needed cash they'd dig me out if they could.
It's never affected a relationship but that could be because I've had the money to spare, if I was stuck and they hadn't paid me back I'm not sure how I would feel about it. I would hope I would still be OK with it.

Koptain Liverpool

I have lent money to plenty of friends in the past and always been paid back. The same when I was in college years ago I borrowed money from friends a few times and always paid them back.
I would never have to think twice about lending money to a good friend. That's one of the things good friends are for - helping each other out when times are tough!

Merkin

Depends how good a friend they are, whether you have lent them money in the past and they have paid it back and whether you are prepared for them not paying you back.

This person is in another country and rather than saving for transport or going to the bank and asking for a car loan like most normal people they are asking you which I think is a little unfair to be honest.

If it was a family member I would lend in a heartbeat. As I would with a couple of friends. Some other friends I just know I wouldn't get it back though and would have to say no.

kylith

Only give it if you can afford to write it off.

AnonoBoy

It boils down to how good a friend they are, how much they really need it and whether you can afford it.

As people have said, don't lend it unless you can afford to not get it back.

Is your friend just asking you because it's easier than going to a bank or asking family?


Personally I'd just say that I don't have it to give (and that'd be the truth for a lot of people) and that way you get out of the awkward situation.

LegacyUser

OP,

If I was you I would take the majority view and not lend to your friend. I myself was in this situation some years back and gave a good friend a loan as I knew he wasn't in a great place financially and I wanted to help out. He then left the country for work and we lost touch for a time.

We reestablished contact some time later but it was obvious the money had become an issue. For him, that is, not for me. I actually told him that if he needed any more help on that front I'd be happy to oblige, and made it clear that even if he could never pay me back that would be fine. It was money I could afford to lose and we'd known each other all our lives.

We pretty much lost touch completely after that. Yes, I could have made more of an effort to keep in touch but I felt he'd rather be left alone to sort things out for himself. I told my father about this and he recounted at least one such incident in his earlier life. The long and short of it is, if you start lending money to friends, be prepared to start losing those same friends. The two have never mixed.

However, I would have no problem loaning money to family. That's a very different kettle of fish.

Good luck,

SunnyDub1

It all depends on how close this Friend is to you and how much you trust them.
To be fair the Friend might genuinely need your help, and if he/she is traveling is not as simple as just going to your local bank or cu for a loan.

I have Friends that if they asked for a lend, I'd say no cause I know I wouldn't get it back.
Then I have other friends that I know would only ask if they desperately needed it and that I know would pay me back, therefore I would have no problem helping them out.

So yeah it all really depends on what type of person this Friend is, and how close you are to them. You yourself should know if they are they type that would do the same for you and will pay you back.

Toast4532

As said above, only lend it if you can afford to write it off.

I once gave a family member the loan of €700 and have only seen €60 of it back and I know I'll never again see that €700 or anymore of it.

I sometimes lend friends €5 or similar amounts, but would rarely ever lend someone a few hundred, it depends on the person to be honest.

One friend always pays me back as soon as she can, sometimes its the next day, other times it could be a week or two, I don't mind because I know I will get it back.

But I have another friend, who I've have 'lent' about €15 to, and they always promise to pay it back but never do so I don't lend to them any more, I just say "I haven't got it" or "I only have X amount until I get paid". I know its only €15 and not a huge amount, but its the principle of 'borrowing' and then never paying, trying or intending to pay it back that gets me, this friend is more well off than any other friends and could well afford to pay it back but just doesn't bother, maybe that's why she is so well off.

LegacyUser

Hi all,
Thanks so much for all the replies.

It is an unusual situation, which I cant get into/explain, but they would not be in a position to pay it back....at least for a very long time. I would have to write it off. It is someone in a third world country (no-not one of those scam things). No banks/CU/parents, yes, but very poor.

So, I am thinking of gifting it to them. It would help them.

Can I afford it? Yes. I dont live a very lavish lifestyle, but I do have money. I know this is weird/strange complaint, but I was complaining last week to a friend of mine, that Ive all this money, and nothing to do with it. What Im trying to to say is, if I am in this position, shouldnt I help those less fortunate/someone to start a fresh?

It is for a good cause, but I am scared they would see me as a cashcow.

Toast4532

I personally wouldn't do it, if they have no way of paying it back, then what if in a few months/a year they need more money and only you are in a position to help them - will they keep coming back to you?

With some people, if you help them out once, they expect you to help them out all the time, now I'm not saying your friend/relative is like this, but personally I would be cautious of lending/gifting them money.

Joe Hart

I cannot see any benefits from your side. Don't be surprised if you get another call looking for a few quid down the line. I would never consider any of my friends as potential sources of money.

LegacyUser

Don't just gift it. Your friend might not appreciate being treated like a charity case. Just simply say pay it back in your own time.

I've also loan money to friends. It's never an issue cause I can afford it and it really helped them out. Still in contact with them all and have been paid back in full. This whole money and friends don't mix is not always true. It depends on your friends and your judgement of characters.

Esoteric_

lendingmoney wrote: »

Hi all,
Thanks so much for all the replies.

It is an unusual situation, which I cant get into/explain, but they would not be in a position to pay it back....at least for a very long time. I would have to write it off. It is someone in a third world country (no-not one of those scam things). No banks/CU/parents, yes, but very poor.

So, I am thinking of gifting it to them. It would help them.

Can I afford it? Yes. I dont live a very lavish lifestyle, but I do have money. I know this is weird/strange complaint, but I was complaining last week to a friend of mine, that Ive all this money, and nothing to do with it. What Im trying to to say is, if I am in this position, shouldnt I help those less fortunate/someone to start a fresh?

It is for a good cause, but I am scared they would see me as a cashcow.

What you do with your own money is your choice, and if you have enough money that 500 euro won't leave you in any hardship, then by all means give it to them.

They're obviously a fairly good friend if you're even contemplating giving it to them as a gift.

kylith

Joe Hart wrote: »

I cannot see any benefits from your side. Don't be surprised if you get another call looking for a few quid down the line. I would never consider any of my friends as potential sources of money.

It can depend on the individual, but this isn't uncommon. I loaned a family member a few hundred quid (I don't expect to see it back as he's borrowed large sums off of other family members which they've never seen a cent of back), and a couple of weeks later he was back talking about how he needed X amount for a car, and could I possibly....?