Your most recent embarrassing moment

scudzilla

So have you had an 'I wish the ground would open and swallow me up' moment lately.

The bane of my fcukin life is those little shopping trolley for kids, whoever invented them should have them shoved up their hoop wit no lube.

I went to Supervalu a couple of weeks ago and got a trolley outside, now there's only 1 door into the store,, a largish foyer, then 2 doors, 1 entrance intot he store, and an exit on the other side.

This kid, maybe 8yrs old, was stood in the doorway wit one of those little bastard trolleys, his dad (probably) was a few feet away just looking at him, talking all gooey and trying to coax him in.

After around 3 seconds my patience snapped, "Ah come on, get outta the way for fcuk sake", shaking my head at the same time

The kid turns round and he's Down Syndrome :(:(

5 people in the area just stare at me like i've just rode their mothers

Wifey, loyal as anything, just walks off to the bred area and breaks her shite laughing at my misfortune

So what's your most embarrassing moment?

Seachmall

Regardless of disabilities why are your cursing at 8 year olds?

Mr. Rager

Will from the Inbetweeners and the episode at Thorpe Park springs to mind!

PinkFly

What was bred in the bred area??

WoollyRedHat

My most recent embarrasing moment, wouldn't so much as term it as wishing the ground would swallow me, but embarrassing all the same.

In the pub, end of the night, getting ready to leave, get on my coat and scarf and all that and go down to the smoking area to the rest of my mates are. One of my friends said he lost a scarf, and I asked what did it look like? He said it is a smallish blue scarf ( I had on me a bigger, same colour one )

I said I remembered seeing it, and possibly was given it by mistake, but couldn't remember what I had done with it, so I go back up to investigate.. look all over the floor and table, and chairs where we were sitting..nothing there. I then go to the bar, and after a few minutes waiting, ask did anyone hand in a blue scarf? They say no, so I go back down and tell him sorry, don't know what's happened to it.

Then one of my friends has a look at me, goes over and takes the smaller blue scarf off me, where it had been the whole time, on top of my bigger blue scarf. I felt fairly stupid...

IceFjoem

I'm in the emergency room bollock naked right now having tried to fellate myself and seized up in a full body cramp, about to be rolled down to the x-ray department.

General General

scudzilla wrote: »

So have you had an 'I wish the ground would open and swallow me up' moment lately.

The bane of my fcukin life is those little shopping trolley for kids, whoever invented them should have them shoved up their hoop wit no lube.

I went to Supervalu a couple of weeks ago and got a trolley outside, now there's only 1 door into the store,, a largish foyer, then 2 doors, 1 entrance intot he store, and an exit on the other side.

This kid, maybe 8yrs old, was stood in the doorway wit one of those little bastard trolleys, his dad (probably) was a few feet away just looking at him, talking all gooey and trying to coax him in.

After around 3 seconds my patience snapped, "Ah come on, get outta the way for fcuk sake", shaking my head at the same time

The kid turns round and he's Down Syndrome :(:(

5 people in the area just stare at me like i've just rode their mothers

Wifey, loyal as anything, just walks off to the bred area and breaks her shite laughing at my misfortune

So what's your most embarrassing moment?

Ladies & gentlemen... Ricky Gervais!

scudzilla

General General wrote: »

Ladies & gentlemen... Ricky Gervais!

what's he got to do wit this?

General General

scudzilla wrote: »

what's he got to do wit this?

Ricky Gervais' character in Extras does something similar... so I could imagine Stephen Merchant appearing next to you, just at the moment when all became apparent, saying:

Ladies & gentlemen, Ricky Gervais!

Which is... Ah, fcuk it, I wish I hadn't typed it now...

mackeire

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

My most recent embarrasing moment, wouldn't so much as term it as wishing the ground would swallow me, but embarrassing all the same.

In the pub, end of the night, getting ready to leave, get on my coat and scarf and all that and go down to the smoking area to the rest of my mates are. One of my friends said he lost a scarf, and I asked what did it look like? He said it is a smallish blue scarf ( I had on me a bigger, same colour one )

I said I remembered seeing it, and possibly was given it by mistake, but couldn't remember what I had done with it, so I go back up to investigate.. look all over the floor and table, and chairs where we were sitting..nothing there. I then go to the bar, and after a few minutes waiting, ask did anyone hand in a blue scarf? They say no, so I go back down and tell him sorry, don't know what's happened to it.

Then one of my friends has a look at me, goes over and takes the smaller blue scarf off me, where it had been the whole time, on top of my bigger blue scarf. I felt fairly stupid...

i guess you had to be there

Seachmall

General General wrote: »

so I could imagine Stephen Merchant appearing next to you

Are you calling Scudzilla's OH a lanky cunt?

General General

Seachmall wrote: »

Are you calling Scudzilla's OH a lanky cunt?

Nope. She'd fecked off to the 'bred' section.

Guy beside him making the comment is the lanky cunt.

Seachmall

General General wrote: »

Nope. I am calling him a rotund, funny looking toby jug type.

Guy beside him making the comment is the lanky cunt.

Hold on, in this story is Scudzilla Gervais? Or is the OH Gervais?


This is getting bloody confusing.


Edit - OK, now I see.

1ZRed

Got caught in the middle of a **** by my sister a while ago and then queue the awkward conversation while trying to cover my horn with the laptop with the sight of my jocks pulled down to my knees.

I seriously wanted to die that second

1shot16

1ZRed wrote: »

Got caught in the middle of a **** by my sister a while ago and then queue the awkward conversation while trying to cover my horn with the laptop with the sight of my jocks pulled down to my knees.

I seriously wanted to die that second

Imagine if it was ur parents not ur sister just like american pie haha :P

1ZRed

1shot16 wrote: »

Imagine if it was ur parents not ur sister just like american pie haha :P

Two birds one stone sure!

Thank fuk it was pitch black and she saw nothing!! Tho that made the whole situation seem really weird

FatherLen

Seachmall wrote: »

Regardless of disabilities why are your cursing at 8 year olds?

because 8 year olds are arseholes

humbert

1ZRed wrote: »

Got caught in the middle of a **** by my sister a while ago and then queue the awkward conversation while trying to cover my horn with the laptop with the sight of my jocks pulled down to my knees.

I seriously wanted to die that second

Who caught you?

1shot16

1ZRed wrote: »

Two birds one stone sure!

Thank fuk it was pitch black and she saw nothing!! Tho that made the whole situation seem really weird

She could of gave you a hand ...

Only joking haha :P

Must be fair awkward now!

cartell_best

In Aldi and I was just rushing home from work. I was standing in the first queue that was building up so much that resulted in "till 2" being opened. I was standing there talking to this (who I had recognised because he served in a local chipper I use), and just chatting...whilst "till 2was being opened" and all of a sudden this girl jumps ahead of both me and this polish chap, when, I just respond and say "that's just rude and nasty" (and stronger words were going tru my head), directly to her and she responds by saying "I'm his wife (with 2 kids in throw). I swear to God lads, if the ground opened up and swallowed me whole, it would have been a blessing.

1ZRed

humbert wrote: »

Who caught you?

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/i-see-what-you-did-there-also-over-here.jpg

WOCM4

Realizing, that after 13+ years, and Im 38, still logging into this fooking hole on my 6th handle. And its still funny.

And good night.

1shot16

Oh ive a funny 1

Mother goes into the petrol station asks for bananas,

After looking at them

Shes say to ur man "ur banana is too soft"

Comes back to the car and says his banana was to soft...she realized what shed said looked through the window ur man was crying!Couldnt stop laughing for at least 10 mins!

WOCM4

1shot16 wrote: »

Oh ive a funny 1

Mother goes into the petrol station asks for bananas,

After looking at them

Shes say to ur man "ur banana is too soft"

Comes back to the car and says his banana was to soft...she realized what shed said looked through the window ur man was crying!Couldnt stop laughing for at least 10 mins!

Does not take much for you then.

MonkstownHoop

these are all sh*te

1shot16

i noe but i couldnt stop coz every1 was laughing aswell haha

WOCM4

MonkstownHoop wrote: »

these are all sh*te

Whats yours then HoopFace?

Mine is having me dirty jocks thrown around the school bus while the whole bus took the piss.

I still wanna go Rambo on their assholes 30 years later. Bastards.

Thank god my life is so great now.

con___manx1

i was staying in a friends house on his couch after a night out. about 4am this hot blonde knocks on the door and says she was locked out of her apartment which was above my friends. i went outside and the two of us jumped up on the wall and then i attempted to lift her onto the balcony.i tried to lift her up and the first attempt i dropped her which was pretty embarrassing. the second time i got her up but then the really embarrassing happened she asked me to go up to her apartment and i wasnt able t get up on to her balcony hadn't got the strength in me arms to pull myself up. Iv been workin out ever since lol

WOCM4

con___manx1 wrote: »

i was staying in a friends house on his couch after a night out. about 4am this hot blonde knocks on the door and says she was locked out of her apartment which was above my friends. i went outside and the two of us jumped up on the wall and then i attempted to lift her onto the balcony.i tried to lift her up and the first attempt i dropped her which was pretty embarrassing. the second time i got her up but then the really embarrassing happened she asked me to go up to her apartment and i wasnt able t get up on to her balcony hadn't got the strength in me arms to pull myself up. Iv been workin out ever since lol

thanks bud, gone to bed with a smile

Canis Lupus

I asked for a large coffee in Starbucks instead of a grande. I was totes morto!