Im a trainwreck waiting to happen.

LegacyUser

Ok so Im in my mid 20s , self employed and make decent money (above the average industrial wage) have a decent upbringing, both parents together, have a girlfriend, nice car, nice rented house in dublin. No mental health issues previously. Nothing to deal with or be upset about really. It all seems good on the surface.

But heres the problem , Im constantly abusing drugs , alcohol and cigarettes. I smoke 40 a day, smoke a lot of cannabis daily and regularly use ecstacy. Im still functioning in that I go out and work and get on with my customers, friends and girlfriend just fine. None of them have really shown any concern to my behaviour and think im doing ok and just like to party a lot.

I go out every night of the week, I refuse to be the guy who drinks or smokes weed on his own so I find parties, sessions, nights out etc to go to every single night as an excuse to get messed up. The only nights in ive had in the last 3 years have been spending nights with a woman and even then im drinking . I just cant sleep without being drunk or stoned or whatever to the point of passing out around 5-6am and getting up to work 3-4 hours later (i dont know how i manage that, i dont even feel tired, even after years of it), I just cant spend any time at night alone or I feel bored straight away and get a massive craving for drink.

I have built up some debts and now owe a fair bit of money in unpaid income tax. They havent summonsed me yet but even thinking of it turns me to drink and I make the problem worse. I drink / smoke almost every cent i have yet still manage to pay rent and most bills somehow .

Ive tried to get ontop of the debt but every time just end up drunk and forgetting about it. I cheat on my girlfriend with absolutely no remorse / guilt (dont even know what the words mean at this point, i dont feel bad about anything i do).

How can I just go to some state of normality. My only social outlets are with drinkers and drug users. If i could get off the drink and drugs i could probably pay my debts but be bored and have very few friends left. Income is not an issue to paying them , but the social side of me just wants to keep going out every night and all other responsibilities fall away. this isnt normal but i dont know how to sort it out.

ABajaninCork

Do you want to sort it out OP?

If you do, then the first step is to speak to your GP. They will be able to recommend suitable programmes and counselling for you.

The taxman? He is one brother you don't want to mess with. Is your VAT in order as well? Do you have an accountant? If not, ask around for recommendations, and get it sorted ASAP.

Take small steps. This won't be solved overnight.

Well done for deciding to sort yourself out! Hope it works out for you.

JoePdw

And you said there is nothing to deal with and everything is nice. Listen, i am sick of the drugs in dublin. If you call people that you hang out because of drugs your friends, then your friends are based on drugs. Which means drug dealers, and drug users. I can't even stand people that drink, not to mention weed or anything else. And i met even a drug dealer through friends. It's terrible the people you meet through a person you call friend. Unless you decide to quit drugs, no body will do it for you.
And if you won't quit drugs you will probably become a drug dealer to get easier access to drugs and get a girlfriend that takes drugs, if you don't have that already.
I had girlfriends that took drugs. They lied, people lie about these things. If i knew i would never meet them second time.

gugleguy

I had to put up with serious liars as project partners in my full time college diploma year project. Drugs took precedence over project deadlines and tutor and classmate relationships

December2012

Hi op.

You say everything is okay but it seems to me like its not.

It's great that you've had the job, the cash, the life, the family etc but as you have correctly identified this has not protected you from addiction.

I think that you should go and talk to your GP this morning and start treatment for one of your addictions. Also go and have an STD test.

You may find it easier to get better if you break off your friendships and relationships for a while.

Bad habits of others are a dangerous temptation.

Good luck.

lukesmom

You have said you get to work and its not impacting on your close relationships or colleagues. I think your main issue at this time from what you've said is the taxman. Sort that out asap. Dangerous territory. Drink and drugs its up to you if you find your still functioning then I'm not sure if your problem is that big.

ManOfMystery

OP, I think you know yourself what you have to do here.

Look, you're in a good situation - Good job, good money, stable family, girlfriend. But you're risking all of that by going down a dangerous road with drugs and drink.

You're not the first (and you won't be the last) guy to go out a lot and abuse alcohol/cigarettes/drugs. Countless people have thrown away their lives with similar behaviour, but telling themselves they're totally in control of it and just having a good time. And then, when it's too late, suddenly their money is gone and they're addicts and/or alcoholics without a roof over their heads. You're already descending into dangerous territory with this debt that you now owe. Unless you make a drastic change to your situation, that debt will only grow bigger and sooner or later you're going to get a knock on your door about it.

Drink will not fix your situation. Drugs will not fix your situation. Only YOU can fix the situation. Be an adult, knock this stuff on the head and gets yourself sorted out. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to work out how this situation can be resolved.

And if you don't go out every night and get a bit bored .............. tough. You do realise the vast majority of people don't have the money or inclination to go out every night, so what do you think the rest of us do? You're going to have to find a way to deal with boredom - buy an Xbox, watch films, play a sport, read a book, join a club, whatever. All of these things will be healthier and cheaper than what you're doing now. We all get bored at times, but you have thousands of alternative options to hitting a nightclub or party.

You've got into a very bad routine which is affecting you so much that you can't even sleep without being stoned/drunk, and I think you really need to take some time out, have a look at your life and realise that this is not healthy or (and I hate to use this word, but I can't think of a more suitable one) - normal.