Irish Wakes

DEFTLEFTHAND

An old friend of my father died a couple of days ago, he was an elderly gentleman 83 years of age. I work with my Dad so we both went to the wake this evening, I always get freaked out in these situations as I don't like viewing a dead person, there's something about the coffin and the silk sheet drape that freak me out.

After we paid our respects we headed into the kitchen where a full blown session was raging. I stayed a while before heading into town to meet up with friends. I've just rang my brother a couple of minutes ago and both he and my old man are still partying at the death house.

Many traditions have gone by the wayside in modern Ireland, but the Wake session must still remain. :pac:

finbarrk

Plenty of them here in West Clare still anyway.

Chuck Stone

Deadly buzz alright.

Dempsey

How are you still able to write?

zenno

Some people don't know how lucky they have it.
Haven't had an ole wake in a long time. That's the way to go out. Let the party begin.

kneemos

Drink innit.

downwithpeace

First one I remember struck me as an odd way of keeping the family busy by taking care of everyone's needs rather then sitting around grieving, now I've noticed everyone gets drunk and has a chat with every family member of the deceased as they come to refill the glass.

A strange experience but communal.

hatrickpatrick

This is going to be in my will. I believe in heaven so I'll be grand, I want people to absolutely rip the place up at my funeral, Project X style. Nothing would make my soul feel like more of a legend than if people were still reminiscing years later, saying "God, do you remember Paddy's funeral? What a f*cking night!!!"

Would it be inappropriate to suggest something like Beautiful Day or Human as my funeral song?

Norwesterner

Haven't seen people sniffing snuff at wakes in years.
Come on people, I want my snuff.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Norwesterner wrote: »

Haven't seen people sniffing snuff at wakes in years.
Come on people, I want my snuff.

Yes old school Irish. It's rare to see snuff these days. Keening is another Irish tradition that doesn't seem to be carried out at the wake anymore.

Galwayguy35

Both my parents died at home so in both cases they were waked in the house, it's still common enough around here (I live in a rural area) if someone dies at home.

Yeah people had a few drinks but there was noone drunk.

Tigger

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Yes old school Irish. It's rare to see snuff these days. Keening is another Irish tradition that doesn't seem to be carried out at the wake anymore.

i keened my dog and i'll keen my family

arse..biscuits

Every wake I was at in Dublin was always a big session. I was at a wake in Donegal a few years back and I was very surprised to see zero alcohol being consumed. I asked another Donegal native about this and he said "No, you never drink at a wake out of respect".
When I got back to Dublin, I asked my Dad about his experiences of wakes and he said "You always drink loads of whiskey at wakes out of respect".

not yet

I stepped out and she stepped in again, learning to dance at finnegans wake..........

aujopimur

My mate and his wife went to wake, but were unsure which house it was in.
They were driving slowly down the street when his wife said, that's it, how do you know says he, it's got your man in a coffin inside window says she.

For Forks Sake

not yet wrote: »

I stepped out and she stepped in again, learning to dance at finnegans wake..........

Oh dear..

Banjo String

not yet wrote: »

I stepped out and she stepped in again, learning to dance at finnegans wake..........

Remix versions are the best

Rhys Essien

Speaking of Wakes

Jet Black

I was at one for my aunt in Monaghan two months ago. I didn't want to go into the room with the body but as soon as we got there we were ushered in. Took my glasses of so I didn't have to see. Glad I did as my dad said she looked nothing like his sister, she was bloated and the cancer left her in a bad way. I said to my dad I didn't look and pointed to a picture of her ten years ago and said that's how I will remember her. There was no drink either.

We were only suppose to go for the night but ended up being three days there. Got to meet cousins I've never met and hear all the old stories.

Fukuyama

I'd rather a few jars be had than everyone sitting around awkwardly with a corpse the only topic of conversation.

Antar Bolaeisk

arse..biscuits wrote: »

Every wake I was at in Dublin was always a big session. I was at a wake in Donegal a few years back and I was very surprised to see zero alcohol being consumed. I asked another Donegal native about this and he said "No, you never drink at a wake out of respect".
When I got back to Dublin, I asked my Dad about his experiences of wakes and he said "You always drink loads of whiskey at wakes out of respect".

Been at wakes in Donegal where there was copious amounts of whiskey drunk.

Maybe they do things differently at the other end of the county.

fryup

my fav scene from Fr TED

containing my fav line....."we'll see him in the next world"

"oh ya sure" classic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TgCkTVtjHU

krudler

arse..biscuits wrote: »

Every wake I was at in Dublin was always a big session. I was at a wake in Donegal a few years back and I was very surprised to see zero alcohol being consumed. I asked another Donegal native about this and he said "No, you never drink at a wake out of respect".
When I got back to Dublin, I asked my Dad about his experiences of wakes and he said "You always drink loads of whiskey at wakes out of respect".

Eh? that's what wakes are for, giving the deceased a sendoff, I want people getting hammered at mine.

The Big Red Button

krudler wrote: »

Eh? that's what wakes are for, giving the deceased a sendoff, I want people getting hammered at mine.

I'd love people to have a grand old session at my wake. It's a great way of celebrating someone's life, and saying goodbye.

What I would hate is an open coffin. I know I won't be around to care, but the idea completely creeps me out. People looking at my corpse ... and maybe even touching or kissing it ... eeewwwwww!!! I've my friends and family well warned that it will be a CLOSED coffin, or else I'll haunt them forever!!

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

best solution..cremation

and they could play ashes to ashes by David Bowie in the background

DEFTLEFTHAND

chatterpillar wrote: »

I'd love people to have a grand old session at my wake. It's a great way of celebrating someone's life, and saying goodbye.

What I would hate is an open coffin. I know I won't be around to care, but the idea completely creeps me out. People looking at my corpse ... and maybe even touching or kissing it ... eeewwwwww!!! I've my friends and family well warned that it will be a CLOSED coffin, or else I'll haunt them forever!!

Yes I think I might be a closed casket affair also. I've very simple wishes, I want no funeral Mass said, no removal or anything. I want to be buried in an RCC graveyard, I want a brief ceremony at the graveside, a Priest to say a few words to immediate family only.

meoklmrk91

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Yes old school Irish. It's rare to see snuff these days. Keening is another Irish tradition that doesn't seem to be carried out at the wake anymore.

What is keening?

The Big Red Button

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Yes I think I might be a closed casket affair also. I've very simple wishes, I want no funeral Mass said, no removal or anything. I want to be buried in an RCC graveyard, I want a brief ceremony at the graveside, a Priest to say a few words to immediate family only.

All I care about is that it's a closed coffin. Beyond that, they can do what they want with me! Despite the fact that I'm an atheist, it'll most likely be a Catholic funeral with all the works. I'm OK with that - it's not about me, it's whatever will give my family peace, and if that means that my body will be buried in a Catholic graveyard, and some unknown priest will spout loads of lies about me, then so be it!

crockholm

fryup wrote: »

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

best solution..cremation

and they could play ashes to ashes by David Bowie in the background

Or " Highway to Hell" by AC/DC, with the local PP doin air guitar and instead of a decade of the rosary,"Seasons in the abyss" by Slayer. And lots of great Irish whiskey.:cool:



Keening is an old Irish tradition of hiring some oul biddy to start wailing and crying,just to make it look like the deceased was actually loved and missed, from the Irish "caoineadh" to cry.

DEFTLEFTHAND

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

What is keening?

Have you never heard of keening before? It's a vocal lament, basically crying and wailing by the coffin, it's an old Irish tradition exclusively practiced by women. There would be a select group of keeners in each Parish. Another function they served was to prepare the corpse for burial, they'd also watch over it on the night before the coffin is sealed and moved to the church.

The undertaker profession has more or less finished this aspect of their service.

Truncheon Rouge

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Yes old school Irish. It's rare to see snuff these days. Keening is another Irish tradition that doesn't seem to be carried out at the wake anymore.

it was replaced by planking.

Teyla Emmagan

I've been at a good few in Donegal, but not much drink was consumed. There was a lot of tea and cake put away though. And then a bottle of whiskey or two would be produced late at night. They're a nice tradition wakes, if I was dead I would rather be home all night surrounded by family and friends than lying alone in the church all night before they buried me.

meoklmrk91

crockholm wrote: »

Or " Highway to Hell" by AC/DC, with the local PP doin air guitar and instead of a decade of the rosary,"Seasons in the abyss" by Slayer. And lots of great Irish whiskey.:cool:



Keening is an old Irish tradition of hiring some oul biddy to start wailing and crying,just to make it look like the deceased was actually loved and missed, from the Irish "caoineadh" to cry.

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Have you never heard of keening before? It's a vocal lament, basically crying and wailing by the coffin, it's an old Irish tradition exclusively practiced by women. There would be a select group of keeners in each Parish. Another function they served was to prepare the corpse for burial, they'd also watch over it on the night before the coffin is sealed and moved to the church.

The undertaker profession has more or less finished this aspect of their service.

Not familiar at all, can't get over that, sounds so weird!

krudler

Only ever at a rural wake once, with the person laid out in the house overnight, the idea of that for myself weirds me out tbh.

pragmatic1

Its pretty much the done thing in Donegal. I must have seen dozens of dead bodies by the time I was ten. It takes the mystery out of death and shows it for what it really is, i.e. the natural conclusion to life.

My name is URL

Was at a wake a few years back and a few woman folk were doing that keening thing. I'd never heard of it before and was a bit freaked out by it all. Actually thought they were taking the piss at first.. so friggin' weird.

arse..biscuits

Antar Bolaeisk wrote: »

Been at wakes in Donegal where there was copious amounts of whiskey drunk.

Maybe they do things differently at the other end of the county.

I was in Letterkenny and Milford, the wakes were as dry as a bone.

ruthloss

A neighbour of ours died and the sons had to go to an other town for the session because each of them had been barred from all the local pubs.

("we can't go there, I'm barred out".,well we cant' go there either, I'm barred from that one"):D

WayneMolloy

Norwesterner wrote: »

Haven't seen people sniffing snuff at wakes in years.
Come on people, I want my snuff.

Go to one in a working class area of Dublin. Plenty of 'snuff' available.

newmug

WTF is it with all the Donegal references on this thread? People die everywhere, and I can 100% guarantee you that wakes are had in peoples houses, with the corpse, and with full blown drinking sessions, in each and every single county in Ireland. Some of the best sessions I ever had were at wakes. They're the same everywhere you go.

Rasheed

newmug wrote: »

Some of the best sessions I ever had were at wakes. They're the same everywhere you go.

Definitely agree about having some of the best sessions at wakes. Especially when the chat gets going about funny stories and good memories about the deceased.

Wakes and stations (when the priest leaves) are always mighty for sessions and nice food.

arse..biscuits

newmug wrote: »

WTF is it with all the Donegal references on this thread? People die everywhere, and I can 100% guarantee you that wakes are had in peoples houses, with the corpse, and with full blown drinking sessions, in each and every single county in Ireland. Some of the best sessions I ever had were at wakes. They're the same everywhere you go.

I was at two wakes in Donegal and there was no drink at either and when I asked the people there, they thought the idea of drinking at a wake was very strange.
Every single wake I've been at in Dublin involved drinking all night around the body.

Da Shins Kelly

My uncle's wake is one of my most vivid childhood memories. It was the first time I'd ever experienced it, and I thought it was pretty amazing, to be honest. We just sat around in the living room all night with the body, telling stories, reminiscing and drinking. One minute everyone was crying, the next they were laughing. It was a wonderful, nostalgic, kind of romantic experience. I think it's a really interesting way of dealing with grief.

Scruffles

have been to wakes over here of irish family-do not have any english born family bar sister so have only been to possibly one english funeral...the english have a very different routine-wakes are a shock to them.

also find it interesting tagging along to the chapel of rest to see the bodies laid out,have always found death an impossible concept to understand and its just so strange seeing them lying there,no movement,cold body,look like they have put their make up on in the dark...and then there are the old irish traditions some aunts of mine have; putting a coin on each eye then taking photos of the body,never understood either of those; can anyone in the know explain it please?
never saw our southern irish family do it,only northern.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

I've been to two wakes, my aunty's over ten years ago, and my own mother only last week. I found them very comforting, seeing both women lying in peace in their own homes surrounded by their friends and family.

It has made me think it's what Id like to do, spend my last night on earth in the comfort of my own home. Better than a cold, lonely funeral home.

This is one Irish tradition which is well worth keeping going.

Mam of 4

Scruffles wrote: »

have been to wakes over here of irish family-do not have any english born family bar sister so have only been to possibly one english funeral...the english have a very different routine-wakes are a shock to them.

+1 on this.
When my Mam died,english relatives were stunned and amazed at us having Mam at home and the amount of ppl coming to pay their respects. Was a non drinking wake, but that didn't take from the stories, the tears or the laugher at funny memories. Hopefully it's a tradition that never dies out

kinkygirl

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

I've been to two wakes, my aunty's over ten years ago, and my own mother only last week. I found them very comforting, seeing both women lying in peace in their own homes surrounded by their friends and family.

It has made me think it's what Id like to do, spend my last night on earth in the comfort of my own home. Better than a cold, lonely funeral home.

This is one Irish tradition which is well worth keeping going.

My sympathy on your loss, and I agree, it's a lovely tradition which should not die out...no pun intended.

Catphish

downwithpeace wrote: »

First one I remember struck me as an odd way of keeping the family busy by taking care of everyone's needs rather then sitting around grieving, now I've noticed everyone gets drunk and has a chat with every family member of the deceased as they come to refill the glass.

A strange experience but communal.

The most recent wake I've been to was for my Grandfather. The Rosary was said taken in turns for him through the night. It wouldn't have been a party by any means, but I recall my Grandmother being handed a drink and a few others having one with her until they were called in for their turn. The in between bits was where they shared a few laughs remembering him, but in no way raucous or boisterous.

It's perfectly fine to share memories, but there is a time to leave if you're not actively taking part in saying the Rosary through the night. A lot of people visited that night, said their piece to my Grandad and said a prayer for him. Stayed briefly to talk to my Grandmother and whoever was there at the time and moved on.

That is the way it should be, respectful to the deceased person in the house, and those close to them.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Of the two wakes I attended one was a drinking one with cans and spirits as well as tea/coffee cake and sandwiches. There was singing and dancing too. It was a celebration of life rather than mourning of death.

The most recent one only tea or coffee was served to guests, although close family did have one last drink with mam after everyone had left.