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Anyone violated your back door?

  • 06-04-2013 11:07pm
    #1
    NuckingFacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,221 ✭✭✭


    The Media says we're under seige. Stephen Segal is now a bloated Sheriffs Deputy, no longer able to fight the rising tide. Farmers trailers disappear before their very eyes.

    Plasma TV's are just asking for it. Your Grannys getting tied up almost nightly at this stage and her purse rifled. She's taken to cable-tying herself to her chair every evening at 6 to save them the bother.

    Ram-raiders are smashing through your front window so regularily you've put in a velcro frame to save on replacement costs.

    You've a standing order with the oil company to fit a new tank every second day and fill it with oil to replace the old one.

    You no longer bother lodging the takings at the bank, you just toss the money-bag out the door of the shop to save yourself the grief.

    Is the crime getting worse? Or are the Gardai telling us it is to make them feel important? Or is the new thing now to breed fear, keep 'em worried. Or are you tied to your chair at gunpoint as we speak? Is there a Nissan Silvia parked in your sitting room, getting loaded with your goodies? Did the golf-club you sleep with help? Boards, is your telly safe? Or is your safe on telly?


Comments

  • #2
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    lol


  • #3
    Rayne Wooney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,136 ✭✭✭✭Rayne Wooney


    Thread title has so much potential.. :(


  • #4
    Clandestine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Clandestine


    haha anal sex


  • #5
    Ruudi_Mentari
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Ruudi_Mentari


    Lots of bends in the frame, but no actual breaches those vile violators....


  • #6
    Sheeps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,763 ✭✭✭Sheeps


    Haha


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  • #7
    Remmy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭Remmy


    You should read the news, I would watch it.


  • #8
    Chucken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Remmy wrote: »
    You should read the news, I would watch it.

    ....if you had a telly?


  • #9
    NuckingFacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,221 ✭✭✭NuckingFacker


    When I said "the golf-club you sleep with" I didn't mean you Maureen btw. And you is a well durty burd. The whole Club? That's a bit much love.


  • #10
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,109 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    I'm concerned about the farmers trailers.


  • #11
    Remmy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭Remmy


    Chucken wrote: »
    ....if you had a telly?

    Indeed


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  • #12
    Chucken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Remmy wrote: »
    Indeed


    Did the feckers take your telly? :(


  • #13
    gurramok
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,992 ✭✭✭✭gurramok


    Its chaos out there Mad Max style OP, yes even Grannys are tie tying themselves up at night!!


  • #14
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Some punks put fireworks through the cat flap. Busted the door / kitchen up fairly badly.


  • #15
    General General
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭General General


    No, but me knob's been pulled off many a time.


  • #16
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    Some punks put fireworks through the cat flap. Busted the door / kitchen up fairly badly.

    Why would someone do something so idiotic?
    The mind boggles


  • #17
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,904 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    Smidge wrote: »
    Why would someone do something so idiotic?
    The mind boggles

    Because they're skangers, they don't need a reason.


  • #18
    schnitzelEater
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 269 ✭✭schnitzelEater


    Ask me arse.


  • #19
    NuckingFacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,221 ✭✭✭NuckingFacker


    schnitzelEater wrote: »
    Ask me arse.
    I did, all that came back was shyte.

    Has no-one got a tale of massive liberty taking? Did you wake up from a drunken stupour to find Anto and his mate Whacker rifling through your knicker drawer, uninvited? Come home lately to find your house was gone, washed away by the latest local crime wave?

    Did you waken in the middle of the night, hot, unfamiliar breath wafting around your face, a dark malignant presence hovering over you? Was it your randy mother-in-law or had your inner sanctum been penetrated by rampant scobies, hell bent on snatching away your iPhone? Or was it just the dog, desperate to go out for a midnight wee or a sly chance to ride the neighbours shit-zu that's been on heat for the last two weeks and would let the lawnmower have it's wicked way with it at this stage?


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