Appropriate wedding present

miss no stars

So I've been invited to a wedding as my bf's plus one. His whole family are invited and going as well. I've never met the couple but he's their neighbour and knows them very well. It's a full day invitation and I'd like to give a present. Only problem is that I'm not sure what to give. I would like it if my bf and I each put €50 in a card but would that look stingy? We're both postgrad students and while I'm not struggling, giving more than that I may end up struggling as I only had about a month's notice of it and will probably have to get accessories for an outfit at the very least. Or is taking that into account stingy? As I don't know the couple getting an actual present would be difficult...

Also, some tips on convincing the bf that a card and present are required wouldn't go astray I'm not sure whether he intends to do the card and present bit but I'd like some idea of what's appropriate before mentioning it.

eviltwin

Give what you can afford. No one should have to get into debt over someone else's wedding. I think 100 quid is very generous, I certainly wouldn't be thinking you were scabby if I got that in a card.

toadfly

€100 is a generous gift I wouldn't feel bad putting that into a card. Do you think your boyfriend isn't planning on giving a gift?

Duvetdays

IMO €100 is plenty to put in a card for people who aren't family or close friends, where I do agree only give what you can afford I also think its very poor form to turn up to a wedding with no gift at all. Even get a picture frame or set of wine glasses if money is tight. They may not want the gift but it can also be recycled on (we did it with some wine glasses & photo frames)

I'd also recommend dropping the present in before the wedding which is what I'd personally do if it was possible as on the wedding day they will be getting so many cards there's always the risk of some going missing.

Addle

Duvetdays wrote: »

I'd also recommend dropping the present in before the wedding which is what I'd personally do if it was possible as on the wedding day they will be getting so many cards there's always the risk of some going missing.

+ 1 to the above.

Also, IMO, the plus guest doesn't have to give a present at all. Card and gift should come from who is named on the invite.

Gatica

kind of agree with the above, as they might not know who you are if you give something by yourself. Coming without any present at all to an event such as a birthday or wedding is bad form though IMO.
I would think giving something from both of you is appropriate. Give what you can afford. If you can't afford anymore, I'm sure they'd be just as glad to get the 100 Euro, especially off someone they don't know. I wouldn't worry about a gift in addition to the money. We like to give both sometimes to our friends, but we take that into account when budgeting the gift. That is, if you're already giving as much as you can afford in money, don't bother with the gift. Especially since, as you said, you don't know them well enough to pick out a gift for them.

tinkerbell

OP, you shouldn't be giving any present - you were invited as your boyfriend's plus 1 and you don't even know the couple anyway. It should be your boyfriend sorting out the present.

miss no stars

Thanks for the replies, looks like 100 between us would be fine so! Although I haven't met the couple I've met the family a few times and my bf knows them very well, and aside from that I just feel like it's very rude and a bit embarrassing to show up with my arms swinging!

Also I'll take the advice on dropping it in ahead of time, wouldn't like for it to go missing.

Thanks everyone.

wilburcor

have 3 bloody weddings to go to this year. I'm unemployed, gf is working, so I'm suggesting no more than a combined total of E100 (or E100 prize bonds!). Remember, you may have to fork out for kitting out for the day, travel to venue, overnight stay, drinks, etc. It's an expensive day out and I'd hope that those getting married realize that people are simply strapped at the moment.

pwurple

wilburcor wrote: »

have 3 bloody weddings to go to this year. I'm unemployed, gf is working, so I'm suggesting no more than a combined total of E100 (or E100 prize bonds!). Remember, you may have to fork out for kitting out for the day, travel to venue, overnight stay, drinks, etc. It's an expensive day out and I'd hope that those getting married realize that people are simply strapped at the moment.

If you are calling them 'bloody weddings' then it sounds like you don't want to go. Please do not go with that attitude, attendance is not compulsory. You can RSVP and decline if it doesn't suit for any reason. I would hate for someone to be at my wedding cursing me under their breath.

100 euro is more than generous (although prizebonds are more trouble than they are worth at weddings, but that's another story).

belcampprisoner

50 euros each is a lot

Galwayguy35

I've a wedding coming up in July, the girl lives 2 doors down so although money is tight I'll give a present of €100.

I think for someone who is a close friend or family €100 is plenty.

Sebastian Dangerfield

I used to always give €200. Then when I had 3 weddings in 4 weeks the first ine for 150 followed by 100 for the other two. I felt stingy giving 100 as I thought 200 was the norm, but when I asked a few people the consensus was that 100 is plenty

reap-a-rat

What should one give to a family member?

I ask because my brother is getting married (sometime) - not sure when, but probably within the next year. By then I'll still be a student, albeit a graduate student so I'll still be playing the poor student card (not out of choice, mind). He's my oldest sibling and the first of us to get married so I assume it'll be kind of a big deal.

What would be a good amount to give in this case?

Gatica

so? It's a big deal in the context of the family, doesn't mean you gotta go broke over it. Give him something personal, that doesn't need to cost a lot. If you simply wish to give cash, then give what you can afford. Don't worry about it. If he's close to you he'll understand that you're a student and don't have lots of money.