To the Dads on the board...

Rippeditup

Hey

So I am becoming a dad in July and looking for advice on how you got in some practice time once the new boss of the house appears?

I have just bought a house and we are moving in over the coming weeks beside the Grange so I am going to join as a pavilion member for the year so I can get out for the odd hour but honestly don't know what to expect as my partner laughs when I say this.

Anyone any advice on how best to work in the bits of practice required to keep the swing intact?

Thanks

ForeRight

Have you considered adoption?

hades

Congrats first and foremost.

My little man is just over a year old at this stage. To be honest, practice went out the window for the best part of 8 or 9 months. But i kept my Saturday morning round going, no matter how little sleep i got the night before.

As most of the guys will tell you here, its all about compromise.

What works best for us is, i get my Saturday mornings to play golf and she gets Sunday mornings to have a sleep in. Also, the one thing you should never do is complain about how your round went. Your better half is after allowing you the chance to play your round of golf, the last thing she needs to hear is how you missed a putt on the seventh for a birdie, or that you couldn't get the ball off the tee all day.

Compromise is key, but you'll learn that the second the stork drops off the new arrival.

alxmorgan

Rippeditup wrote: »

Hey

So I am becoming a dad in July and looking for advice on how you got in some practice time once the new boss of the house appears?

I have just bought a house and we are moving in over the coming weeks beside the Grange so I am going to join as a pavilion member for the year so I can get out for the odd hour but honestly don't know what to expect as my partner laughs when I say this.

Anyone any advice on how best to work in the bits of practice required to keep the swing intact?

Thanks

Forget about it mostly until the child is sleeping through the night (bout 10 weeks hopefully)
After that it's all about balance....you play golf and then take the child while she meets friends or whatever.

Makes no sense to give up....we all need outlets in our lives. If everything becomes about the child it's not good in the end. Exercise is good for us all mentally and physically and you'll be happier coming home to a day of nappies and crying etc etc

Iangolf

Push breastfeeding, my wife didn't and it ended up being a near 50/50 job.. Mates of mine never even thought about feeding until baby was 4/5 months old each feed lasting an hour with an hour nap after, perfect for a cheeky 9 holes.

Make sure you have carpet in a couple of rooms for putting practice and finally hope when he or she is about two they can come practice with you even if its in the indoor mini golf in Dundrum!

scrubber72

Do lots and lots of housework? No seriously i moved next door to galway bay last September and our baby arrived in December. Before she came i just made sure the housework was done and the missus was happy so I got out quiet a lot.
Short game practice mostly.
We have been very lucky that our daughter has slept very well since she was born.
Oh and congrats there is no better feeling than having a kid to come home to, even after a bad days play.

razorblunt

Can I introduce you to me Dragon's Den idea..it's a powercaddy with a space for a cot on the back.
Shut up and give me your money!

ForeRight

My wife had our first last November and practicing went out the window.

However I feel I've improved though. When I do get out now I appreciate it more, I seem to be relaxed more and just play care free.

My scores have improved.

PARlance

Rippeditup wrote: »

Hey

So I am becoming a dad in July and looking for advice on how you got in some practice time once the new boss of the house appears?

I have just bought a house and we are moving in over the coming weeks beside the Grange so I am going to join as a pavilion member for the year so I can get out for the odd hour but honestly don't know what to expect as my partner laughs when I say this.

Anyone any advice on how best to work in the bits of practice required to keep the swing intact?

Thanks

Congrats Rippeditup,

I joined that club last November, my advice is get as much practice in between now and July.

When the little one comes along it will be hard to do much over the first few months, I managed to get quick spins up to the driving range for the first month or so as I took a bit of time off and our one was asleep most of the time, so I was out the door as soon as they nodded off.
But it quickly became a chore and I stopped doing it after a month.

I found it tough at that point, they start to get a bit of character and my little girl was generally awake most of the time when I got home from work until she went down for the night.
I more or less gave up on the range.
Could I have made more of an effort to get practice in? Yip
Did I really want to? Nope, it sounds daft but sitting down watching a little thing that can't communicate with you can be very enjoyable and you wouldn't notice an evening passing.

They were a great few months for me, and spending 3-4 hours each evening with her came way ahead of golf. Work was quite busy too so I didn't have much flexibility in that regard.

She's nearly five months now, she's starting to get into a good routine where she is asleep for the night early enough for me to be able to pop out for a bit of practice. I joined a club last month and seeing that the evenings are a bit brighter now I'll be able to get out for a bit of practice again.
You're be a bit luckier in the fact that your arrival is coming in mid summer, the longer evenings may help you get out a bit more than I did.

The one thing I've gathered from talking to other parents is that everyone has a different story and every child is different, so you can have the greatest plans and intentions in advance but you'll find that you'll have to work around the little one.

DeanAustin

Had a little boy 8 months ago and joined back a club this year. Struggling to get much practice in but trying to get a game at weekends if possible.

You will get times when you won't get a game at weekends because stuff comes up and you do have to give the other half her time to do stuff too. But do try to keep to at least a game a week if you can.

I play footy one night a week and the Spawell is reasonably close to my work so I manage to sneak in for a medium bucket between work and football. If I can't do that, I'll pop in after work on a Friday. I finish at 4 and sometimes have to deal with the US so the "I got a call from someone in America at the last minute" excuse has been used a bit. Yes I'll go to Hell but I hear Satan likes golf so I should be okay.

Or, as suggested, you could consider adoption.

PARlance

Forgot to add about the compromise point...very important!

The one thing that has stopped my weekend round is the weather, we've agreed one round a weekend.....but the days of getting home and putting the feet up after it are gone. Stock up on the coffee for once you get home from your round

Rippeditup

thanks for the advice...

So I am someone who practices allot and would be more inclined to practice for 1 hour/90 mins over 9 holes which I hope will play into everything..

I am about 100yds away from the Grange so hoping that the odd 30mins won't be too much of an issue but I suppose when the baby comes I won't be thinking the same

So basically act like a saint and be super helpful and supportive to get out and also a few evening calls from the US.. That can be achieved as I am working with a US company.

LinksLad

I have no advice to give in regard to getting out to practice, having taken up golf a few years after the birth of my son.

We got out yesterday for 5 holes. Nothing prepares you for the sheer pleasure you get from seeing your own kid (12Y.O.) crack drives past the group of ladies you've just called through. Still wearing a cheesy grin!

Enjoy it all. Relax. Enjoy it some more. Be Daddy.

thewobbler

I've 3 under 3.

My advice is give up all other hobbies, including drinking. Then, in the nicest possible way, point out that this is the only "you" time that you ask for these days.

And accept that your game will suffer. It will.

Practice time will be parked in favour of game time. Game time will suffer from tiredness and rustiness.

ForeRight

thewobbler wrote: »

I've 3 under 3.

Holy god!!!!

As a wise man says every morning on dole TV

"Put something on the end of it"

Ilik Urgee

I've a 14 month old-it's all about compromise OP. Even better if your OH does some "extracurricular" hobby herself as then she appreciates more what it means to get out for a round imo.
My OH plays a lot of tennis so there's always trade offs going on,even still I didn't see a golf course only once a month for the first 3 or 4 months. Truth be told,I wasn't bothered either!

Best of luck with it all!

PARlance

Ilik Urgee wrote: »

I've a 14 month old-it's all about compromise OP. Even better if your OH does some "extracurricular" hobby herself as then she appreciates more what it means to get out for a round imo.
My OH plays a lot of tennis so there's always trade offs going on,even still I didn't see a golf course only once a month for the first 3 or 4 months. Truth be told,I wasn't bothered either!

Best of luck with it all!

And that doesn't have to be sport!
My missus is a member of Dundrum SC (that's Shopping Center)

DeanAustin

ajcurry123 wrote: »

And that doesn't have to be sport!
My missus is a member of Dundrum SC (that's Shopping Center)

I feel your pain. Mine isn't so big on shopping but why in the name of God would anyone spend €130 getting their hair done? It costs me €12 and I look fantastic To be honest, hers doesn't even look any different although I wouldn't dare say that ("Oh no love, it's fantastic"). Probably a topic for another thread though.

However, golf is now very, very expensive.

Loire

Ilik Urgee wrote: »

..it's all about compromise OP. Even better if your OH does some "extracurricular" hobby herself

That's it in a nutshell.

Loire

DeanAustin wrote: »

I feel your pain. Mine isn't so big on shopping but why in the name of God would anyone spend €130 getting their hair done? It costs me €12 and I look fantastic To be honest, hers doesn't even look any different although I wouldn't dare say that ("Oh no love, it's fantastic"). Probably a topic for another thread though.

However, golf is now very, very expensive.

+1...although she's probably thinking...he spends the same amount of money hitting a white ball around a field & is usually p!ssed off about it afterwards:p

PARlance

DeanAustin wrote: »

I feel your pain. Mine isn't so big on shopping but why in the name of God would anyone spend €130 getting their hair done? It costs me €12 and I look fantastic To be honest, hers doesn't even look any different although I wouldn't dare say that ("Oh no love, it's fantastic"). Probably a topic for another thread though.

However, golf is now very, very expensive.

Always best to err on the side of caution... I don't know how many times I've got the reply

"I didn't get my hair done, but thanks"

No hassle love......your cooking is still sh*te

Rippeditup

ajcurry123 wrote: »

And that doesn't have to be sport!
My missus is a member of Dundrum SC (that's Shopping Center)

I think this is more inline with my missus..

C.O.Y.B.I.B

In my house its a lie in for her on a Sat and golf for me on a Sunday . Also to note is I used to go play golf and have a pint after and it took up to 6 hrs . Now its golf at 7.30 and home at 11.30-12 .

slave1

Compromise and it worked for us.
No real impact on the first one with us, I had the Saturday and she had the Sunday off, odd evening was fine.
Second one came along the following year and again no major impact until the birth so I gave up membership and just played society golf mostly.
When number 3 came along three years later again I put the golf gear into the attic and gave it up for 6 years, after a few months you don't really think about it, plus I was doing a masters and a good bit of DIY, she put me under no pressure to give it up but I just couldn't take the self-guilt of leaving her at home with two and another one on the way.
Now, they are 10,9 and 6 and I'm back golfing nearly two years, still haven't got my swing back right and lots of new gear finally settling down so this will be the year.
Two of my girls caddy the odd time (more for the chocolate and playing in the bunkers) and I play (weather permitting) every society outing and most weekends, starting next week will be a round mid-week, I still compromise with lots of DIY and that's key, I've one bedroom done this year, a showerroom to renovate, three further bedrooms and front/back gardens to overhaul so my golfing is me getting some exercise and fresh air.
Sounds bad but giving up golf was probably the best golfing decision I ever made, she knows how much I loved it but the kids came first for that period of my our life, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'd make that same decision again in a heartbeat.
O Lordie, bit of a ramble there, in summary compromise, but in all honesty with it being your first you simply will just want to stay at home for the first while, she might end up kicking you out for a round because of cabin fever.
Congratulations and good luck!!

ssbob

Where do I start.................

First daughter is 7 now and I didn't start playing golf until she was 4 maybe and only joined a club for the first time when she was 5, all going great in that I got out for plenty of mid-week rounds and weekend rounds as well as playing Rugby during winter.

Last year we got married, we decided to have number two(another girl:rolleyes:) so I said I'd give up rugby(2 nights training and match every Sunday) but wanted to focus a bit more on golf, all agreed. New baby came along and in fairness I have got out quite a bit(including calls to the US:D) and have basically givin up booze, next week will be a tester as I am playing a week's golf from Weds to Sunday!

My advice is to live your life to the full as you could be gone in the morning but be fair to your wife & kids;)

PARlance

ssbob wrote: »

My advice is to live your life to the full as you could be gone in the morning but be fair to your wife & kids;)

Ah jaysis, if we were living our lives to the full we'd hardly be on a golfing forum

Only messing... I love golf

Arsenium

I think the guys nailed it with the compromise advice. I played golf as a kid and also a bit when I was a young adult but didnt really start playing it properly till a few years ago. Now with kids, Sun afternoon is gone for me. Unless it's dawn on a Sunday, Sunday competitions are out the window. But I can accept that. It makes it difficult to get handicap reductions etc but hey, I'm never gonna turn pro so once I am enjoying my golf and can play it to a standard I'm happy with then so be it.

Mates of mine with kids (I have 4) ask me how I can get to play so much golf when they cant. I ask them when was the last time they went out boozing or away on a stag. They all have great social lives compared to mine. But I choose to use my free time playing golf these days. I'm pretty sure I could guess the reaction if I played golf Sun morning and then rang my mates to go for a few pints Sun evening !!

I often find the kids can pick you up after a bad game. Cheer you up and make you realise it's not all that important :-)

Now....two of the kids are approaching the age where they can start junior golf in the club. If they pick it up and like it....well who knows...I might more of a chance to play and still get the credit for bringing the kids !!

Myksyk

Yep ... you're about to enter the DEU (Domestic Economic Union). It will now be all about the balancing and accumulation of the local currency ... BPs (Brownie Points). You give, you get. Simples. However, be aware that for the first 6-7 months even when you get golf you'll likely be too knackered to play well but you'll still enjoy it.

Johnny_Fontane

2 kids under 3, live 35 minutes from the course.

Not playing as much as I used to obviously and compromise is the key.

That said, when my first was 3 months old, I went out wrecked one morning for a medal and took it down playing the finest golf of my career....it just all clicked that day for me. Later on that summer I won the scotch foresomes in the club, with a mate.

I never really practised at all (and still dont) playing off 13 (am pretty light hearted about the whole thing).

Just realise your situation and try make the best of it.

DeanAustin

Don't all these posts make you wonder why you'd ever have kids or get married? :-)

ForeRight

DeanAustin wrote: »

Don't all these posts make you wonder why you'd ever have kids or get married? :-)

Which brings me back to my first post in this thread...


Adoption!!!

stockdam

Get yourself one of these.....



You'll find it awkward at first so restrict your back-swing a bit.

The bonus is that the kid will learn how to play golf at an early age and will be the next Rory Mc.

An extra pair of eyes will come in handy to spot errant shots.

Rippeditup

stockdam wrote: »

Get yourself one of these.....



You'll find it awkward at first so restrict your back-swing a bit.

The bonus is that the kid will learn how to play golf at an early age and will be the next Rory Mc.

An extra pair of eyes will come in handy to spot errant shots.

Ok that is freaky.... A good way to ensure you don't get the hands trapped on the downswing.

scrubber72

Sweet mother of devine.

Arsenium

scrubber72 wrote: »

Sweet mother of devine.

It's like Men In Black...only in blue.

ForeRight

Looks like kuato from Total Recall 1990

PARlance

I'll spare ye the details of what that reminds me of!!!
(slightly different positioning granted, and neither of them were smiling)

ForeRight

ajcurry123 wrote: »

I'll spare ye the details of what that reminds me of!!!
(slightly different positioning granted, and neither of them were smiling)

Please sir, do continue.........

???

PARlance

ForeRight wrote: »

Please sir, do continue.........

???

I can't say too much other than it was a natural birth, but it involved an unnatural amount of involvement from the father.

Senna

I have my first on the way in August, I really only play one round a week and for the last year, I do no practice other than in the garden. So i'm kind of hoping to keep my one round a week (crack of dawn on a sunday) and although the missus agrees that its fine to head out on a sunday morning, we'll just have to see how it will actually work when the little one arrives.

m r c

We have two here. 3 and 1 years old. All I'd offer is to work hard at keeping "goodwill" for golf as high as possible. Because when the missus is tired/tired or indeed tired the last thing you need is for golf to be on her radar or in the firing line.
Every house is different but we work well when stuff is planned for well in advance. I have to say I miss the odd spontaneous round, It's just once a week rounds the last while since the second came along.


Congrats and good luck though.

link_2007

Saw this yesterday and thought it might be appropriate for some of you with new baby girls (less the racist language and gun waving obviously).

Has a lot of cursing so be careful if you're in work.

Rippeditup

m r c wrote: »

We have two here. 3 and 1 years old. All I'd offer is to work hard at keeping "goodwill" for golf as high as possible. Because when the missus is tired/tired or indeed tired the last thing you need is for golf to be on her radar or in the firing line.
Every house is different but we work well when stuff is planned for well in advance. I have to say I miss the odd spontaneous round, It's just once a week rounds the last while since the second came along.


Congrats and good luck though.

Ohhh I have started working up these brownie points already.. I was like a machine getting boxes for the house move and started doing all the packing while she had her feet up as she wasn't feeling great (All after a few hours good practice in the GUI ) Then cooked dinner so will have to keep this up for a while in preparation for that time I need to head out for a few holes as the sun is out...

ssbob

Rippeditup wrote: »

Ohhh I have started working up these brownie points already.. I was like a machine getting boxes for the house move and started doing all the packing while she had her feet up as she wasn't feeling great (All after a few hours good practice in the GUI ) Then cooked dinner so will have to keep this up for a while in preparation for that time I need to head out for a few holes as the sun is out...

Advice to new dad, get some sleep yourself, you won't be getting much once the newbie arrives:D

PARlance

Rippeditup wrote: »

Ohhh I have started working up these brownie points already.. I was like a machine getting boxes for the house move and started doing all the packing while she had her feet up as she wasn't feeling great (All after a few hours good practice in the GUI ) Then cooked dinner so will have to keep this up for a while in preparation for that time I need to head out for a few holes as the sun is out...

I'll let you off this just the once

But that's just a reckless accumulation of brownie points at this stage...,she's not due until July!!!

Brownie points have expiry dates or even worse, can be deemed null and void due to a mistake on the part of their owner.

Timing is key, you don't want to leave it too late or she'll figure out what you're up to, too soon and they can be rendered useless.

Past performance is weighted into the equation but don't be fooled into thinking its a continuous assessment

Regards,
Experience

Wichita Lineman

Very lucky here that mine are now teenagers and they dont impact on my golf at all. Mrs D on the other hand..........:D

ohmslaw

Congrats Rippeditup - you da man!
I'm married 25 years and 3 kids later, I always managed to get out to play. To be fair to herself, she was always decent enough about it. As Hades says, compromise is the secret.

Not all women are as understanding though. A friend of mine told me this story recently, and he's never told me a lie in his life, so it's definitely true:
He was married but was having an affair with his secretary at work. He invited the secretary out to lunch one afternoon. They had a bottle of wine and after lunch he suggested they take the afternoon off and book into a hotel. Off they went, and he made mad passionate love to her. Afterwards, they fall asleep, and when he woke up he realizes it's after 7pm. He wakes the secretary in a total panic and tells her he was supposed to take his wife out for dinner as it is their 20th wedding anniversary, and that he has to go. He starts to get dressed, and hands his shoes to the secretary and tells her to go down to the hotel garden and wipe the shoes in the grass. She thought this was a bit odd, but does it anyway. He puts on the shoes and rushes home. As he opens the front door, he is met by herself in the hall. Dressed to kill, and looking like she wanted to.
"You're late", she says icily.
"Look love" he says, "we have been married 20 years, and I respect you too much to lie to you. You see, I have been having an affair with my secretary, and this afternoon we went out to lunch. We had a bottle of wine, and afterwards we booked into a hotel and made passionate love all afternoon. Afterwards we both fell asleep, and when I woke up, I came home immediately".
The wife looked down at his dirty shoes and screams - "You lying bastard, you've been playing golf again haven't you!".

Ilik Urgee

ajcurry123 wrote: »

I'll let you off this just the once

But that's just a reckless accumulation of brownie points at this stage...,she's not due until July!!!

Brownie points have expiry dates or even worse, can be deemed null and void due to a mistake on the part of their owner.

Timing is key, you don't want to leave it too late or she'll figure out what you're up to, too soon and they can be rendered useless.

Past performance is weighted into the equation but don't be fooled into thinking its a continuous assessment

Regards,
Experience

Get this man a drink, and whatever you're having yourself.

tigerwood1

With three kids under four and a handicap that has gone from 13 to 18 in those four years maybe my advice can be taken with a pinch of salt. the best bit of advice i can give you is to start droping suttle hints of the benefits of breastfeeding to you wife eg helps to bond, higher iq, healthier etc. you will thank me when you hear that bundle of joy cry at 4am no scooping out that formula and heating bottles all u have to do is give the missus a gentle kick and roll over so u can be up for that 8am tee time.
I agree with other boardies try do a bit more housework with a new house plenty of diy to be done clear concience will play better, Happy wife, Happy life

DeanAustin

tigerwood1 wrote: »

With three kids under four and a handicap that has gone from 13 to 18 in those four years maybe my advice can be taken with a pinch of salt. the best bit of advice i can give you is to start droping suttle hints of the benefits of breastfeeding to you wife eg helps to bond, higher iq, healthier etc. you will thank me when you hear that bundle of joy cry at 4am no scooping out that formula and heating bottles all u have to do is give the missus a gentle kick and roll over so u can be up for that 8am tee time.
I agree with other boardies try do a bit more housework with a new house plenty of diy to be done clear concience will play better, Happy wife, Happy life

Hold your horses there, who said that? Let's not go nuts here...

Some great advice re breastfeeding though.