The power of the Internet - Fingers crossed

Becki-Jay

Hey Guys
Im not gong to bore you with my story but to make a long story short, my Mother had no choice but to give up a boy for adoption in the 1970's, as you can imagine it's a sensitive subject in her life so my sister and i try not to question too much. i know that she named him Kevin when he was born and the 30th / 31st May is his date of birth.

You hear so many stories about tracing people on the internet, but its so hard when you dont have a name. Im only hoping this post will complete our life.

I asked a lady to help me before but it was going to cost me 2000, unfortunatly i dont have that kind of money just yet.

mamafi

Hi Becki-Jay, there is some great support on facebook now with the adoption rights alliance group...they will give you all the help and info that is needed to start a search....they are a great group and wonderful suppost for birth mother's adoptee's and their families and there is no charge...I strongly suggest that you lok them up...good luck with your search

OneIdea

Well, you know he's probable not named Kevin anymore as his new parents would by all accounts give him their desired name.

The only thing I can think of, is that you register yourself on the http://www.aai.gov.ie/index.php/information-a-tracing/contact-preference-register.html

However I have never read anyone here saying anything about it been a success, as both party's need to register etc... before a match shows up. So unfortunately its Kevin who needs to be looking for your family... and that's how you will find him, so keep looking.... as you said the Internet is full of information... but only if someone puts its out there.

...and eh.. sorry to say this... but there is no way in hell an investigator would be able to find your Kevin so don't give anyone any money for promises of any kind. An investigator would work for Kevin... because he and he alone is the only person that an adoption agency would release basic information about your mum to... whereas even your mum today can't have access to Kevin's new adopted name... hope that makes sense.

Becki-Jay

Thank you both for your replies, im fully aware of the name changing etc. see the thing is, when my Mother tld us years ago about the adoption, she actually said that he had wanted to get in contact wit her but she never went ahead with it because "she wasnt ready".

Ill try that group on FB, thank you

OneIdea

Becki-Jay wrote: »

Thank you both for your replies, im fully aware of the name changing etc. see the thing is, when my Mother tld us years ago about the adoption, she actually said that he had wanted to get in contact wit her but she never went ahead with it because "she wasnt ready".

Hmm ok well that's a good start... all you have to do is contact the adoption agency in question and see if Kevin left his contact details open for any siblings etc... if not your mum will need to instigate a request on your behalf.

No harm in phoning them for further advice...

Do you guys know Kevin's name today? (don't post it just asking)

Becki-Jay

Thanks very much
I actually found a letter that i received 2 years ago when i sent in my details from AAI so im going to check with them to see if all my details are on file.

No, i dont know, would it have been on the letter if my Mam had received one all those years ago? Will definatly have to ask her soon

OneIdea

Becki-Jay wrote: »

No, i dont know, would it have been on the letter if my Mam had received one all those years ago? Will definatly have to ask her soon

Probable not... the letter would most likely have just read that contact was requested ie: no names etc... and to follow up by a meeting explaing things further...

Although you might not get a straight answer and procedures might be in place, assuming you know the adoption agency involved, give them a ring, explain who you are and ask if your mums Kevin had left his details open to any siblings and that you wish to make inquires if he did.

However make sure you are ready to know... personally I would dread making such a call, because its either a yes or no and emotions can take over... so take your time and take it slow.

At least you will know where you stand... and you can take if from there.

Becki-Jay

i have the name of the Social Worker involved etc, but what are the chances that they're still on the same job eh ! i must try poke out the rest of the details later.

Yes i think ive been ready for a long time now to be honest

Enda63

OneIdea,

it's fairly easy to trace someone who was adopted, I've done it a few times.

Becki-Jay,

delighted you didn't part with your money, €2000 is way over the odds for a trace. Go though all the official channels before going it on your own.

OneIdea

Enda63 wrote: »

OneIdea,

it's fairly easy to trace someone who was adopted, I've done it a few times.

Of course it is if you know their name?

Enda63

even without a name. it can be a slow process but can be done. it's no more difficult than an adopted person for their natural family.

Becki-Jay

Enda63 wrote: »

OneIdea,

it's fairly easy to trace someone who was adopted, I've done it a few times.



.

Well i suppose i have an awful lot more info than some people, and im on the right track - Thanks

The_Conductor

Hi Becki-Jay

We host all the original Adoption Ireland Tracefiles here.
The one for parent or sibling are the ones you should download and go through.

As Enda and some others have indicated, even without a definite first name, it is possible to search, a bit more difficult, but possible.

Kind regards,

Shane