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becoming financing dependent on partner

  • 31-03-2013 7:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Been with partner for almost 11 years, we got together quite young.

    I am planning to return to college for three years. I have been working towards this for quite some time. This is going to be tough financially. My partner is happy for us to live on his wages for the duration.

    i am kind of uncomfortable with this because i feel like its his money and it isn't quite fair. I am wondering if anybody has opinions on this.


Comments

  • #2
    mr_edge_to_you
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭mr_edge_to_you


    You're very lucky that you have such a supportive partner. You have a great opportunity, grab it with both hands.

    Make sure you let your partner know how much you appreciate the sacrifices they are making.

    Sounds like the thing life partners do for each other.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey,

    I went through the exact same situation last year. Myself and my boyfriend were together 5 years when I decided to go back to college to retrain and he is now paying the bills. He was more than willing to support me but I felt bad about it for a long time. Giving up my job has affected both of us and our lifestyle and I felt guilty that I condemmed my boyfriend to living a poor student life all over again (we are in our 30's). Worst of all I never wanted him to feel tied to me or responsible for me should we break up while I was in college.

    We just agreed that as long as we were happy, we would carry on with this arrangement knowing that it is an investment in a career that will benefit us both in the future. We are planning on being together longterm and over the course of any relationship there will always be times that one may have to support the other - mat leave, unemployment, injury etc etc.

    Even with all that I did still feel guilty that he was paying for everything so I did get a part time job and any money I make from that goes to our joint account. It's not much but at least I feel that I do contribute as much as I possibly can and that I'm not taking him for granted. If we did ever break up I would want to repay him so in my mind, either way he won't lose out.

    Best of luck in your studies


  • #4
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Op I wouldn't have an issue if my partner was financially dependent on me in order to go back to college. Your study is an investment in your joint future.

    If you want to do something then try to get a part time job to make a contribution.


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