messed up..how to snap out of it?

LegacyUser

hi all,
was seeing guy 2 years ago ( i know its about time i was over it) and i cannot seem to get him out of my head. i have cut contact with him directly...i do not respond to his calls/texts . but it is difficult as i am still in contact with lots of his family/cousins through work/nites out. he was amazing at the beginning but then would go hot and cold and finally cowardly broke up with me...had a one night stand (and a child subsequently) (i only know this as i would be very close with one of his cousins who told me this) and the lad still has the neck to contact me..he does not know i know about the child.

i would love to have it out with him and tell him to cop on and focus on his child but i cannot as this is information that i am not suppose to know.

i have been with and gone out with a number of guys since him...been seeing the current one for last year and half but my heart is just not in it. i feel awful that i am turning into an awful person and fear when i will snap out of it.

he seemed to have it all that i wanted in a guy but certainly not guy that i thought would keep in touch with girl when the mother of his child is expecting (which he is currently with)

i have kept my feelings to myself and do not discuss the situation with his cousins..made a conscious decision from the start that what would be would be and that i would not talk to them about anything regarding him.

i feel i cannot move on with constantly been updated about him. i know i shouldnt still be hung up on him.current guy im seeing is great but i just cant commit to him

so how does one move on with constant reminders...he no longer lives near me but i do run into the cousins quite regularly and would be quite close with the one who tells me about him...

to the outside world its like i have moved on but its so far from the truth

Corkgirl210

pray for acceptance.. he broke up with you.. as cruel as that seems.. he didnt do it for no reason.. u are more into him than he prob is... or be honest with him and tell him.. or tell his cousin.. some women like the chase rather than the catch.. however, your current partner doesnt deserve you being emotionally unavailable.. the truth cannot hurt.. but lying to yourself and everyone else can.... look at all sides and make an informed decision.. either way you may lose your current partner.... what means more to you? your own piece of mind, your current partners happiness or a chance of your own happiness (if ex does still have feelings)

face fear and do it anyway.. i live life being true to myself.. and once i do that i can sit with me and have piece of mind... (that only came after years of finding out the hard way)

only my opinion... wish you the best... everyone deserves to be happy...

LegacyUser

hi op here thanks rayanne2010, i know its true what you are saying , helps to hear it from an outsider..i broke up with current boyfriend yesterday..i now realise i jumped into things way too quickly and that my heart was never in it and doesnt look like it ever will be ...figure it would have been after 18months..but feelings are not there..

i also do know that i do not want ex back..met cousin last night and he was out in same town..ended up coming over to where we were..tried it on..and to be honest part of me wanted to but for the wrong reasons..im glad i didnt ..could not be with someone who treats another woman like that and the mother of his child also. i could not see a future in it.

i have now chalked it down to something i thought was great but in reflection was not all that great. yes he was a charmer but true colours are different.

thanks for advice rayanne..feel sense of relief today.

Corkgirl210

no probs hun!! glad you feel better... maybe start having a relationship with you for a change.... ;o)