The Big O

Hi,

I am a 22 year old female and have been having sex for a few years now at this stage! I have a boyfriend for over a year now and we have sex regularly. I have never had an orgasm and it's really starting to frustrate me. I feel like I have tried everything at this stage and I was wondering is anyone else in this situation or does anyone have any words of wisdom on the matter?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex but can just never get past the barrier. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks, Bikkies

ElleEm

When you say you've tried everything, what do you mean? Have you tried masturbating, watching porn, erotic fiction, using vibrators, oral, etc.?

Noone can really know your body as well as you do, so once you find what works for you, you can share with your boyfriend!

Well yes masturbating, vibrators, oral, haven't tried porn.
The problem is that during foreplay the feeling just gets too intense and I have to stop him. Have tried stopping and starting, deep breaths etc. It just goes nowhere.

ElleEm

The fact that it's getting too intense could be that the pressure is too much, so you should really change the amount/ direction of the pressure.
There are two different types of orgasm, the clitoral and the vaginal. Maybe you have a super sensitive clitoris, so you should practice with the other type. Use online resources to find out new techniques, (I don't know how much in depth info/ instructions can be given on this forum so you're prob better off googling it).

You need to make it fun too, orgasms for females will only happen if you are relaxed. You need to get in the mood (whether that means candles/ hot shower/bath/ porn/ erotica,) use lube and have fun with it. Don't feel under pressure, as this will put you off. Just relax and enjoy the practice!

Neyite

I think you need to experiment on your own first, then once you are used to the feelings and sensations you can incorporate it in to sex with your partner. You can get a small bullet vibrator that is about the size of a tampon, find an evening when you wont get disturbed, and start exploring what makes you feel good.

I think Ellem is correct in that if you cant get past that point, its also to do with technique that needs to change slightly the more sensitive you get nearer orgasm.

And the more you try to have one, the more you are likely to stay on the brink, and the more frustrated you get. Nothing wrong, by the way, guys get that too.

LegacyUser

OP, I could have written your post myself about 12 years ago. I had been sexually active since I was fifteen and I found that when I got excited the physical sensation would get too intense and I'd have to stop. I also never orgasmed until I was about 22. I had been with a boyfriend at the time for over a year before it happened for me. To be honest I don't know what changed really but I think I just stopped worrying about it and tried to let loose a little more. Believe me I heard all the same advice you're getting here: try masterbating, porn, experimenting, this, that, blah blah. None of it worked for me. I just stopped worrying about it and relaxed and tried to enjoy myself and once it was off my thought radar it happened. Once it happened once it happened ALOT. I think women are much slower to develop sexually than men and we're older when we really develop our sex drive.

My advice: forget about it, kick back, have fun and stop worrying. It'll happen when it happens and you've decades of good sex ahead of you yet!

You'll find your O when you stop looking. Good luck!

Corkgirl210

I think you answered your own question.. you get to point of intensity.. which is beginning of orgasm.. then stop!! phsyically you are ready... emotionally you are not.. your mind is stopping.. let the intensity increase and build and enjoy the onset of ectacsy!