How to impress on a first date

knucklehead6 · 27-03-2013 2:22pm #1

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/americas/man-stages-fake-knife-attack-to-impress-on-first-date-29158885.html

AN AMERICAN man’s attempts to impress on a first date went badly wrong after police became involved in a fake knife attack he staged.

Jeffery Tyler Siegel took his date Brianne Coots to Craighead Forest Park in Arkansas for a walk as part of the couple’s first date.
Unknown to Coots however, Siegel had arranged for his friend to launch a staged knife attack on the pair.
Siegel hoped that in overpowering the fake assailant he would look like a hero and impress on the first date.
As the couple walked through the forest, Siegel’s friend came running out of nearby bushes brandishing a large knife.
The plan backfired however when Coots ran screaming from the woods, leaving Siegel behind with his friend.
In order to make the attack look more convincing, Siegel inflicted superficial flesh wounds on himself with the knife.
Meanwhile his terrified date Brianne Coots called the police as she fled from the forest towards the car park.
Police became suspicious at the superficial nature of Siegel's wounds which were supposedly inflicted with such a large knife.
Eventually Siegel broke down and admitted to officers he had staged the attack.
Siegel later told local TV station KGO-TV: “I was definitely very upset. If you want to impress somebody, impress them with the good stuff you can do, I mean you could buy people flowers, have a good job, have a good education.”
Unsurprisingly, Brianne Coots told the station she has no plans to go on a second date.

Seedy Arling · 27-03-2013 2:22pm

Dirty feckin ejit.

27-03-2013 2:23pm

Did he get the ride?

Larianne · 27-03-2013 2:25pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Did he get the ride?

Yeah, in a cop car.

The Backwards Man · 27-03-2013 2:27pm

I saw that film I think, I call bollix.

kfallon · 27-03-2013 2:28pm

So the only gash he got that night was self inflicted with a knife?

Rented Mule · 27-03-2013 2:28pm

Looks like I need to change my plans for Friday night.

Damn interwebs !!

Lyaiera · 27-03-2013 2:30pm

Amateur mistake, don't impress with a big knife, impress with a big home cooked dinner.

knucklehead6 · 27-03-2013 2:31pm

kfallon wrote: »

So the only gash he got that night was self inflicted with a knife?

It was his mates gash.

Fromthetrees · 27-03-2013 2:31pm

Yeah like totally bro, this chicks gonna dig me being the cool guy who saves her skank ass from being robbed, got da pussy in da bag yo, sweet.

*hi five*

This plan is so cool bro, nothins gonna go wrong. :cool:

:o:o

Drakares · 27-03-2013 2:37pm

Feckin' clown.

amacca · 27-03-2013 2:38pm

knucklehead6 wrote: »

“I was definitely very upset. If you want to impress somebody, impress them with the good stuff you can do, I mean you could buy people flowers, have a good job, have a good education.”

the guy is still deluded....I have all of those things and I still cant get the ride:pac: +I'm a good timekeeper, dependable but not boring and devilishly handsome albeit in a slightly unconventional sense and I dress well, converse well and shag like a demon and I'm the heir to a small fortune built up by my bachelor uncle who was an industrial titan that owned coca-cola at one point and is rumoured to have invented the semi colon! I'm also very sensitive and caring so I just cant understand why the ladies aren't queuing up..and, and I just hate blowing my own trumpet

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Unsurprisingly, Brianne Coots told the station she has no plans to go on a second date.

tbh, his plan was as good as any if the objective was to get a second date..in my extensive experience there are very few rules...everyone one is an individual.....some people like things spiced up with a fake knife attack in the woods

He should keep plugging away at it....his "ideal partner" is bound to turn up sooner or later

Larianne · 27-03-2013 2:42pm

Well least he'll have an interesting story in his future dating endeavours.

New date: "So, do you have any crazy date stories?"

Crazy fake knife dude: "Funny story..."

New date: :eek:

27-03-2013 2:43pm

Larianne wrote: »

New date: :eek:

If she's making that face, I think it can be deemed a success

Larianne · 27-03-2013 2:45pm

Deleted User wrote: »

If she's making that face, I think it can be deemed a success

Similar to your avatar actually.

antodeco · 27-03-2013 2:47pm

I bet he was hoping she was going to play "knifey spoony"!

admiralofthefleet · 27-03-2013 2:48pm

god bless america

sfwcork · 27-03-2013 2:54pm

only in america

Rattleshakes · 27-03-2013 2:54pm

What he should have done was,got his friend to murder him and that way his date may have felt obliged to attend his funeral-2nd date in the bag

TheUsual · 27-03-2013 3:01pm

Better off without her. Selfish b***h, running off and leaving him to get murdered.

I like his style, you're better off finding these things out earlier with wimmen.

antodeco · 27-03-2013 3:10pm

If it was me, I wouldve told her i wanted to stab her with my pork sword

and by pork I mean chicken nuggets

and by sword I mean compass

and by stab I mean ejaculate in my hand

Kolido · 27-03-2013 3:11pm

Lyaiera wrote: »

Amateur mistake, don't impress with a big knife, impress with a big home cooked dinner. knob

FYP

monkeysnapper · 27-03-2013 3:16pm

He'd obviously been watching to much mr deeds .

Rodney you plonked!!

Icyseanfitz · 27-03-2013 3:39pm

allibastor · 27-03-2013 3:45pm

When you whip it out and it hits the floor with a thud, that will impress them quick enough.

OneArt · 27-03-2013 3:48pm

Sounds like something gang would do in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Boo2112 · 27-03-2013 3:53pm

Could've ended a lot worse, she could have pulled a gun out of her bag and pumped the friends chest full of metal.

Kinda sad that he felt he had to resort to that just to get the ride, few vodkas would have done the trick :P