physical attractive

philthompson

so,I'm with this girl about 3 months. We have attempted sex a good few times. Only 3 times, was I able to perform and be 'up for it' - if you know what I mean. Now I do find her sexually attractive..in that I WANT to have sex with her and do the business wherever...........However, if it didn't happen, I'd be ok about it.
Physically, she is smoking...beautiful face, smile, etc....however, I find her actual body does nothing for me (a little bit of weight)...I mean it's nice...but it's not...gggrrr sexy (if you know what I mean) which is why I'm having a BIG (or little...:)) problem in the bedroom.
I know I've been with her a short time, but being my first real relationship, I find myself really connected with her. I really love her alot and would do anything (within my power) for her. I definitely don't want to break up with her over this. Since the majority of the feelings are there, do you think this is a major issue or something that we both could compromise on and stay together?


just to add....I'm unable to be 'up for it' just by looking/thinking. It needs to be physical/motion, etc.

thanks for the replies

Challo

There was a very similar thread to this a few weeks ago.

If you don't fancy her, then you don't fancy her. You both deserve to be with people who you're crazy about. Especially at the start of a relationship, I don't think it bodes well that you're questioning her body shape.

December2012

You're only three months into things.

You shouldn't be having these problems.

Do you get erections at other times? It may be a health issue, eg stress?

If you don't fancy her, then you should seriously consider breaking up. Sex is a big part of relationships.

Mervenut

Well, 2 questions come to mind, how much porn are you watching (alone I mean) and how often are you masturbating, too much of either, or both could be your problem!

She can't compete with porn stars which may be the issue?

The Big Red Button

It sounds like you really care about her, but yeah, in my opinion, it's a pretty major issue.

If you don't feel physically attracted to her, than in my opinion it's only fair to end it with her (but preferably in a sensitive way!!) And, particularly if she's someone you'd like to keep in your life as a friend, better to do it sooner than later.

I mean, I know you said you don't want to break up with her - but where do you expect this relationship to go, if you just accept things the way they are? Are you really happy to accept being in a sex-less relationship?

kjl

I have been with some exceptionally beautiful girls and with some I had no attraction to at all and I never had the problem of not being able to perform. The physical act of intimacy would turn me on enough that I would rise to any occasion.

I think you have the problem and you are using her looks as an excuse. Go and see and GP and make sure you are fully functional down there before you go and blame your girlfriend for this problem.

I know another guy who had this problem, his girlfriend was a complete knock out but he could never get hard to have sex with her. He kept blaming her, saying crap like she was rude to him and it turned him off. All that stands to do is make her insecure, again he was projecting his problems onto her.

Big Bag of Chips

OP this thread is identical to 4 other threads started here in a very short time. If you wish to pm me I can send you a link to each of the threads, but please do not start anymore threads on this subject. They will be deleted.

Thread locked.