engagement parties

emzolita

Hi Guys,

Just got engaged two days ago. I was wondering what's the norm for engagement parties?
Are they held in hired rooms etc, house parties etc?

My OH is from London, and is saying we should wait around two months until he can book cheap flights for all his family etc to come over. That's fine, but isn't two months after an engagement a bit overdue to be celebrating the engagement?

sweetie

In the current recession perhaps a few drinks at home or a night out/meal with immediate family and close friends is fine. Going full on and hiring a venue is a little bit OTT. Can't you meet these relatives on your next visit to London?

ElleEm

I always think the whole "organised" engagement party thing is a bit mad unless it is done within a few weeks of the engagement.
I have no issue with people asking close friends/ family to informal drinks in a pub/ dinner etc. within the week or two of getting engaged. To me, it seems ridiculous to be hiring venues/ djs/ invites/ food, etc. and planning a big occasion which is essentially "celbrating" the idea of another big occasion.

pwurple

Congratulations!

We skipped the engagement party and went straight for the main party... the wedding.

Cerulean Chicken

We had an engagement party 2 months after we got engaged, it was the soonest we could arrange it as Christmas, work, etc were in between. But then we already had planned for a long engagement, I wouldn't be having a party 2 months after if the wedding would be another 8-10 months away. Our families hadn't really met (3 hours apart) and tbh I didn't want a party but himself and his family were all on for it, and it was a great night. We reserved an area in our local, they provided decorations, food, and there was a great band playing in the pub so we had music. My family travelled up, booked cheap rooms or stayed with us, and it was great for both sides to get to meet and stuff.

Jenniflower87

congrats on your engagement!!! fantastic news!!!

i got engaged a month ago and still havent done anythin! i think you've loads of time!! x

John Mason

We just had a wedding. we thought it was very unfair to put people through the expense of both an engagement party and a wedding.

We felt it was just a money making scheme

lollpop

Most people i know didn't have engagement parties. I was at 8 weddings last year and just 1 of those couples had engagement drinks.
I think they were more normal when people had long engagements (2 or 3 years) but everyone I know who's got married in the last couple of years has been married within less than 12 months of the engagement so no need really.

Any that i have been to have been casual drinks in the pub type affairs for friends. Haven't been to any that had parents/family invited.

lazygal

We had a party after we got engaged. It was a good excuse for a hooley and a good time was had by all. We provided all the booze and nibbles, just did casual text/FB invites and had it in our home. I'd say half of my friends have them, no one does anything remotely formal though.

It was about a week after we got engaged, any longer than a month and I think the ship of excitement has sailed, especially if you're getting married within a matter of months like we were.

The Cool

Most people I know who have gotten engaged have done maybe a meal with both sides of the family so they can all get to know each other, and then a house party or night out organised with their friends. You don't want to go overboard yet - your friends have a wedding and maybe hen/stag do's to be there for, making your engagement a big formal thing could be a bit much.

Fagashlil

We had one a few weeks after we got engaged, was now hubby's 30th, so combined the 2, booked Weston airport, had a DJ nd food, nothing too expensive!

missgroovy21

I had an engagement party...Didnt regret it but it kinda should be done within 2 months of the engagement while its still new and exciting

Gatica

we didn't do anything big for ours, just a few drinks on a friday night with a handful of our friends after we announced it. Had OH's immediate family over for dinner and told them there at home over a bottle of Champagne.

One couple we know had their party almost a year after their engagement. This was only because his mum was dying to throw one and it just never worked out before. It was more for the parents than the couple tbh. It was great for us though cos lots of our friends came up for it and we probably wouldn't get to see them too often. We did get them a small present, and so did most of the guests. So I guess this is where the pressure is for the guests, not only do they've to get you present for wedding but many feel obliged to give present at an engagement party too. By comparison we only got a small pressie from OH's parents and a couple of the aunties, weren't even expecting that.

jonnyfingers

My fiancée and I both live in the UK now. We had two engagement parties, one was held in our flat in Woking over two months after our engagement. We invited our UK based friends and family, and both sets of parents flew over for it.

The second was held at Christmas when were at home in Waterford. We invited all our Irish based friends and family to that one.

For both we did our own food and booze and both worked out really well.

So do whatever suits you, there's no set formula you have to follow.

ithack07

Congratulations

We had our engagement party two months after we got engaged. We reserved part of a pub, the pub owner supplied decor, a d.j and finger food. All we had was immediate family and close friends. Best night ever!!

Sky King

Sorry to drag up an old thread but I am just wondering what is the done thing regarding gifts at engagement parties?! Do you bring them? If so how much to you spend? Invited to one down in Kerry in two weeks time which is a right spin from where I am so I will need to get accom etc - already an expensive weekend!! Thanks

Gatica

If it's such a long way for you then I doubt they'd be expecting you to turn up unless you're like the best friend... Especially if you've to get accommodation and don't have common friends in the area you could crash with.
It really sounds almost like an issue people thing about for a wedding, shouldn't be something you've to think about just for an engagement....

homemadecider

I don't think a gift would be expected. Buy them a pint.

Vojera

Definitely no gift. They get a present at the wedding, an engagement gift is essentially giving them a present for the same thing twice. You can get them a card if you like, but it's not compulsory.
Neither is going to the party, and I think most people realise these days that a weekend away could be the difference between paying your ESB this month and not for many, so it shouldn't be a big deal not to go.