4 year old wont sleep

clint_silver

4 yr old daughter, always went to bed at 8, got a story, little chat and was off to sleep by 9 latest.

last 2-3 weeks she's calling down "what time is it, my leg is itchy, Im scared, Im thirsty/hungry", its going on til near 11, last night it was 12! she's bawling crying cos she cant sleep.

tried chatting to her, reading to her, glass of milk, little snack, different beds, come downstairs for a bit but nothing is working and my wife and I would be very patient. one of us (usually wife) has to bring her to bed with us to get her to sleep and then i move her back in later on. that cant continue though.

no life changes we can think of.

Any suggestions?

tagoona

A couple of things come to mind.
1. Is she napping still. Probably not, but if she is, that needs to be cut out.
2. Has her bedtime routine changed?
3. Does she need to go to bed earlier? She's running around a lot more these days. She could be gone past tired, to overtired.
4. At 4, she's starting to figure an awful lot more out. Such that if she cries for long enough, she gets attention, and gets to sleep with Mom and dad. It's painful, but the solution is to just ignore her crying. No placating, no stories/milk/rubbing the back. Plain and simple... "what's wrong?" - "It's not time for stories, its time to sleep". Always stay calm, check on her again in 20 minutes.Be calm and repeat. First couple of nights will be hell, but eventually she'll get tired, and realise it doesn't get her anywhere. Most importantly, don't back down at 1 am because she's still going...... "its okay, it's not time for stories, there's no need to cry, its time to sleep".

At various stages each of our three have tried some variant.

clint_silver

tagoona wrote: »

A couple of things come to mind.
1. Is she napping still. Probably not, but if she is, that needs to be cut out.
2. Has her bedtime routine changed?
3. Does she need to go to bed earlier? She's running around a lot more these days. She could be gone past tired, to overtired.
4. At 4, she's starting to figure an awful lot more out. Such that if she cries for long enough, she gets attention, and gets to sleep with Mom and dad. It's painful, but the solution is to just ignore her crying. No placating, no stories/milk/rubbing the back. Plain and simple... "what's wrong?" - "It's not time for stories, its time to sleep". Always stay calm, check on her again in 20 minutes.Be calm and repeat. First couple of nights will be hell, but eventually she'll get tired, and realise it doesn't get her anywhere. Most importantly, don't back down at 1 am because she's still going...... "its okay, it's not time for stories, there's no need to cry, its time to sleep".

At various stages each of our three have tried some variant.

shes the last of 3 girls although another due soon. didnt have this with the other 2 but theyre all different.

naps are long gone. we do the patient thing but its been dragging last week, thanks for the suggestions, we'll stick with it. her personality is being affected day time as well, much more demure and reserved when she'd normally be bubbly, tried to probe in many ways to see if anythings in her head but always get a convincing no so it may be just be the sleep.

tagoona

clint_silver wrote: »

shes the last of 3 girls although another due soon. didnt have this with the other 2 but theyre all different.

naps are long gone. we do the patient thing but its been dragging last week, thanks for the suggestions, we'll stick with it. her personality is being affected day time as well, much more demure and reserved when she'd normally be bubbly, tried to probe in many ways to see if anythings in her head but always get a convincing no so it may be just be the sleep.

Have you been talking to her about the new baby arriving?
That can take them a while to think through.
It could be as simple as needing reassurance that not being the smallest baby doesn't mean she won't get love.
At 4 it's almost impossible to get them to tell you whats going on in their heads. Stay the course, and good luck with the 4th. Think of it as sleep deprivation training for the next one :rolleyes:

clint_silver

tagoona wrote: »

Have you been talking to her about the new baby arriving?
That can take them a while to think through.
It could be as simple as needing reassurance that not being the smallest baby doesn't mean she won't get love.
At 4 it's almost impossible to get them to tell you whats going on in their heads. Stay the course, and good luck with the 4th. Think of it as sleep deprivation training for the next one :rolleyes:

Thats an interesting one, talking about the new baby coming, I'll try that tonight. oh youre in my good books.