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Struggling with my mind

  • 25-03-2013 6:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Long story short basically my partner had an abortion with somebody that she was just fooling around with for a few months. I had met her around a similar time as this instance and for whatever reason she decided to be with him (I've convinced myself it was probably due to physical attraction because she knew neither of us well). The person in question is horrible so when I realised she was spending time with him I withdrew contact totally. During that period she became pregnant and received little support from the person. A few eeks later we met each other again and ended up being together but I wasn’t aware of the situation until she told me recently. I do love her loads but I’m struggling to deal with her initially favouring said person, and also getting my head around the fact that they now/did have an intimate bond. I don't question her love for me but she obviously found another person more attractive/appealing over me which is difficult to accept. I am able to block it out of my mind but it doesn’t feel like we are on a level playing field and that I am a sucker essentially.

    I’m really at a crossroads with what to do because when I’m with her I question if I am enjoying things that she enjoyed with the person she essentially chose over me. It is obviously not possible for everyone to understand the whole situation but I would appreciate any responses.

    Thanking You,
    R.


Comments

  • #2
    TheBellJar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 424 ✭✭TheBellJar


    headspinning wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Long story short basically my partner had an abortion with somebody that she was just fooling around with for a few months. I had met her around a similar time as this instance and for whatever reason she decided to be with him (I've convinced myself it was probably due to physical attraction because she knew neither of us well). The person in question is horrible so when I realised she was spending time with him I withdrew contact totally. During that period she became pregnant and received little support from the person. A few eeks later we met each other again and ended up being together but I wasn’t aware of the situation until she told me recently. I do love her loads but I’m struggling to deal with her initially favouring said person, and also getting my head around the fact that they now/did have an intimate bond. I don't question her love for me but she obviously found another person more attractive/appealing over me which is difficult to accept. I am able to block it out of my mind but it doesn’t feel like we are on a level playing field and that I am a sucker essentially.

    I’m really at a crossroads with what to do because when I’m with her I question if I am enjoying things that she enjoyed with the person she essentially chose over me. It is obviously not possible for everyone to understand the whole situation but I would appreciate any responses.

    Thanking You,
    R.

    She is with you, she chose you. She also trusted you enough to tell you she had an abortion so you obviously have a strong connection.

    What are you worried about here OP?


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