Is masturbation ruining my sex drive?

LegacyUser

Firstly, I'm a woman. In my late twenties, if that makes any difference. I have a boyfriend of just over a year. Had a couple of long-term relationships in the past and this has been an issue (sort of) ever since I was young.

I started masturbating when I was about 15 and would regularly do it. Sometimes it can be everyday, although thats rare, at other times maybe once or twice a week.

Does this mean I have a high sex drive? With any boyfriend I've had I've never been hugely sex mad, although I do enjoy sex... but I wonder if I cut out masturbation would I be more mad for sex with my boyfriend. It isn't really an issue in my current relationship, but I would think we'd be happier if we had sex more often. Its only once a week at the moment. I'd like it to be more spontaneous and want to rip the clothes off him, but whenever I'm feeling horny I just go for the easy option of masturbating.

It doesnt help that my boyfriend is really well endowed, which is great in theory, but can actually result in sex being somewhat painful. So I think theres a mental block there about that too.

DeltaWhite

sbinan wrote: »

Firstly, I'm a woman. In my late twenties, if that makes any difference. I have a boyfriend of just over a year. Had a couple of long-term relationships in the past and this has been an issue (sort of) ever since I was young.

I started masturbating when I was about 15 and would regularly do it. Sometimes it can be everyday, although thats rare, at other times maybe once or twice a week.

Does this mean I have a high sex drive? With any boyfriend I've had I've never been hugely sex mad, although I do enjoy sex... but I wonder if I cut out masturbation would I be more mad for sex with my boyfriend. It isn't really an issue in my current relationship, but I would think we'd be happier if we had sex more often. Its only once a week at the moment. I'd like it to be more spontaneous and want to rip the clothes off him, but whenever I'm feeling horny I just go for the easy option of masturbating.

It doesnt help that my boyfriend is really well endowed, which is great in theory, but can actually result in sex being somewhat painful. So I think theres a mental block there about that too.

I think you should just do an experiment of not masturbating for one or 2 weeks, see how you feel! You will definitely want sex more!

Lucky you having a well endowed bf ha in all seriousness though I think you're having a mental block, have LOTS of foreplay before sex, get some lube and just relax yourself as much as you can. Being relaxed is key here! Just try it and see how you get on, sure what have you got to lose

ekpiribok

I think you should resist the temptation to masturbate so often as you have described.
The problem is that when you get accustomed to doing this you sometimes don't feel the need for a male partner, or you would tend to compare your sexual satisfaction when you masturbate to the pleasure you derive from your male partner.

In the case where he doesn't please you as much as you would like in comparison to your self manual stimulation, there would be a point in the relationship when you feel like you may not need a man after all, especially if you don't depend on him for any other needs.

Again, you may not have him around when you are horny, especially if you don't live together, and thus the temptation to go solo is always there. I would say keep your masturbation to the minimum so that you can invest more time to develop and enhance any relationship you may have. Good luck!

Esoteric_

To add to what others have said - I'd immediately assume that there's something REALLY wrong with your relationship if you prefer masturbation over sex.

sffc

By the sounds of it you are masturbating about three to four times a week which sounds within normal range to me (I'm not a doctor ) and therefore not worrying .
What is a little worrying is that you are trying to blame masturbation for the lack of sex drive with your boyfriend . Wrong way round . You are treating masturbation as a cause when relying on it is actually symptom of unfullfilled sexual experinces with your current and previous boyfriends .
I'm not saying you shouldn't need to masturbate in a healthy sexual relationship . I'm saying the relationship should interfere with the masturbation not the other way round !

Dravokivich

sbinan wrote: »

It doesnt help that my boyfriend is really well endowed, which is great in theory, but can actually result in sex being somewhat painful. So I think theres a mental block there about that too.

Just saying as a bloke, it doesn't have to go all the way in for us to get pleasure out of sex as well. Might help doing a bit of teasing where you are playing around with him, as if his dick was a dildo.