Normal for a sixth year to want to be friends with a fourth year?

DoubleChance

What are your opinions on this guys? I feel a bit strange but there's this fourth year who I get on really well with, but I think he'd find it strange if I wanted to be better friends with him?

Or am I over-thinking this?

Insect Overlord

You are over-thinking it.

/thread

dorkacle

Insect Overlord wrote: »

You are over-thinking it.

/thread

When your in school its such a bigger deal though isn't it?

OP, I'm assuming this is basically down to what other may think/say?

All I can say is be friends with who you want to be! The pressures of what your peers/classmates think will seem silly when you are eventually finished there. When you realise that you will be kicking yourself for not making friends with someone you may have wanted to, or who you think you would have got on with.

Lawliet

When I was in fourth year I became friends with some second and third years. I'm really glad that I did, and I'm still friends with some of them today
Seriously though, only hanging out with people in the same year as you is a bit primary school.

anirishlad

Im friends with a third year its pretty normal op

VincentLeB

Lawliet wrote: »

When I was in fourth year I became friends with some second and third years. I'm really glad that I did, and I'm still friends with some of them today
Seriously though, only hanging out with people in the same year as you is a bit primary school.

anirishlad wrote: »

Im friends with a third year its pretty normal op

Yeah I agree with these guys. The only thing that may be awkward is that if you're in different years, it means that you have different friend groups. And most guys I know hang out in groups, no?

Is it not weird for a sixth year and a fourth year to be one-on-one friends? Or am I imagining things?

LoonyLovegood

It's not weird at all. I'm first year in college, my best friend is a fourth year. It's not the general things, it's the two people involved in the friendship.

wnolan1992

When I was in 1st and 2nd class in primary school, I spent most lunchtimes hanging out with the 6th class lads. Got on better with some of them than I did with the lads in my own class.

When I started Secondary School, some of those lads were in 5th and 6th year and I'd hang around with them again. Some of the best craic ever.


As easy and all as it is to say, you really just have to do what makes you happy. If you get on with this lad, then why not be friends with him? If the lads in your year are going to mock you because of it then, frankly, they're douchebags and you'd be better off telling them to f*ck off now, just so in years to come when you look back on Secondary school and realise how pointless the social structure there was you won't be regretting not telling them to f*ck right off.

DoubleChance

Wow, thank you everyone for the responses and great advice.

VincentLeB wrote: »

Yeah I agree with these guys. The only thing that may be awkward is that if you're in different years, it means that you have different friend groups. And most guys I know hang out in groups, no?

Is it not weird for a sixth year and a fourth year to be one-on-one friends? Or am I imagining things?

That's the thing I'm worried about. But what I'm worried about the most is that even though we get on quite well, he would think it's weird to want to be good friends.

Like is it weird to invite him over to watch a movie over Easter or what? How do I go about doing this? God I'm hopeless.

And most guys I know do hang out in groups. I hang out in groups. So it wouldn't be weird to just do a one-on-one thing? :S

CTYIgirl wrote: »

It's not weird at all. I'm first year in college, my best friend is a fourth year. It's not the general things, it's the two people involved in the friendship.

wnolan1992 wrote: »

As easy and all as it is to say, you really just have to do what makes you happy. If you get on with this lad, then why not be friends with him? If the lads in your year are going to mock you because of it then, frankly, they're douchebags and you'd be better off telling them to f*ck off now, just so in years to come when you look back on Secondary school and realise how pointless the social structure there was you won't be regretting not telling them to f*ck right off.

I'm not that worried about the mocking from other people, I'm just worried about whether he himself will think it's a bit odd, even though we get on really well.

Skerries

just invite him to one of your group gatherings and work it from there

iamanengine

If ye get on really well I really don't think he will find it weird at all. If he does find it weird then he's not all that great of a friend anyway. I'd say go for it!

Aoifey!

When I was in 6th year one of my best friends was in fourth year. Now I'm 20 and some of my closest friends are 17. Don't stress it, some people are more mature at a younger age, if you get on well with them there's no reason you shouldn't be friends, regardless of age.

Jamie Starr

Evil in the eyes of Allah.

DoubleChance

iamanengine wrote: »

If ye get on really well I really don't think he will find it weird at all. If he does find it weird then he's not all that great of a friend anyway. I'd say go for it!

But we don't have the same friend groups! He has a load of friends in fourth year, and I have a load of friends in sixth year. He would feel very uncomfortable if I was to invite him to any of my groups, and I would feel the same if he invited me with his friends.

What I'm asking is, is it weird if I try to do something one-one-one with him? Like invite him over? We know each other well from school projects and stuff, and we did go to see a movie together once after a school project, but it's like we've left it go to long and neither of us have done anything since then.

What should I do?

iamanengine

DoubleChance wrote: »

But we don't have the same friend groups! He has a load of friends in fourth year, and I have a load of friends in sixth year. He would feel very uncomfortable if I was to invite him to any of my groups, and I would feel the same if he invited me with his friends.

What I'm asking is, is it weird if I try to do something one-one-one with him? Like invite him over? We know each other well from school projects and stuff, and we did go to see a movie together once after a school project, but it's like we've left it go to long and neither of us have done anything since then.

What should I do?

Yeah I completely understand that about not doing group things, I would feel much the same way if I was in your situation!

What I'm saying is, go for the one on one situation. If ye get on as well as you say then there is simply no way he will find it weird! Imo :rolleyes:

Jackobyte

DoubleChance wrote: »

What are your opinions on this guys? I feel a bit strange but there's this fourth year who I get on really well with, but I think he'd find it strange if I wanted to be better friends with him?

Or am I over-thinking this?

I'm friends with people from 4th year, myself a sixth year. Never thought anything strange of it. School teams often transect school years so very often, students tend to be friends with people in the years above and below them. I'd spend as many nights out with my friends in first year in college than I would with my own peer-group. I made friends with them when they were in my school which is pretty much the reverse of the situation that you are in.

DoubleChance wrote: »

That's the thing I'm worried about. But what I'm worried about the most is that even though we get on quite well, he would think it's weird to want to be good friends.

Like is it weird to invite him over to watch a movie over Easter or what? How do I go about doing this? God I'm hopeless.

And most guys I know do hang out in groups. I hang out in groups. So it wouldn't be weird to just do a one-on-one thing? :S

I'm not that worried about the mocking from other people, I'm just worried about whether he himself will think it's a bit odd, even though we get on really well.

I'm not sure whether you are a boy or a girl, but I'm getting the impression, girl? The movie over Easter sounds a bit like a date though I may be mistaken. I'd a friend who was shifting a TY a few months ago. Of course we gave him light-hearted slack about it at the time, but when we were in TY ourselves, anyone involved with girls in the years above were considered almost god-like in stature. Doubt he'd have any problems with it himself, but if you are to get involved with him other than as friends, prepare for a bit of slagging from within your year. That's not to put you off though; if you get on with him as well as you say, and you did want to get involved, any jokes would probably pass over pretty quickly.

Lawliet

DoubleChance wrote: »

That's the thing I'm worried about. But what I'm worried about the most is that even though we get on quite well, he would think it's weird to want to be good friends.

Like is it weird to invite him over to watch a movie over Easter or what? How do I go about doing this? God I'm hopeless.

And most guys I know do hang out in groups. I hang out in groups. So it wouldn't be weird to just do a one-on-one thing? :S

If you feel weird hanging out one on one, why not bring him into the group rather than splitting off from it. Invite him to hang out with you and your friends, tell him he can bring some of his friends along as well.

DoubleChance

iamanengine wrote: »

Yeah I completely understand that about not doing group things, I would feel much the same way if I was in your situation!

What I'm saying is, go for the one on one situation. If ye get on as well as you say then there is simply no way he will find it weird! Imo :rolleyes:

Yeah, I don't know. I think he will find it weird. Now I'm having doubts as to whether we actually do get on well.

Jackobyte wrote: »

I'm friends with people from 4th year, myself a sixth year. Never thought anything strange of it. School teams often transect school years so very often, students tend to be friends with people in the years above and below them. I'd spend as many nights out with my friends in first year in college than I would with my own peer-group. I made friends with them when they were in my school which is pretty much the reverse of the situation that you are in.

My school isn't like that though for some reason. Years do intersect, but no-one outside of the year above or below are normally friends.

Jackobyte wrote: »

I'm not sure whether you are a boy or a girl, but I'm getting the impression, girl?

Hahaha. Oh God, now I feel even weirder for posting this. I'm a guy. Definitely a guy.

iamanengine

Man, we suck at advice. If all else fails go with your gut!!

Aspiring

As stupid as it is, you still hear people around school saying things like "why doesn't he have friends in his own year" when they see like people in different years hanging out or going to lunch or whatever. What's worse is the people who say that are my friends, I just tend to do the usual "smile and nod" and think about how retarded they are and hope they never have children. But that's just me.

MauraTheThird

I think you should go for it tbh. What's the worst that could happen? If he doesn't want to, he'll say no and you'll have a better idea where you stand as regards whether he wants to be your amigo or not. If he does, you could potentially get a new friend out of it if it goes well

Only having friends in your own year is over-rated. If something went wrong with them, or drama occurred, you'd be almighty glad of having people who are outside of that loop. That's how I felt anyways

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

craic an cailin

Okay well I'm assuming you're a girl,guys don't tend to over think stuff like this.
Sure hang out with him,your real friends won't judge you for it.
Maybe only hang out with him outside of school, and less inside of school.Just because you shouldn't ditch your real friends for a fourth year,and they might react....
But yeah 5th year I get,4th year,no.I it were me I'd be focusing on my exams(remember,they MAKE your future!)
On the other side,friends are friends-if there's no other reason just do it for the craic XD!
Oh and it kinda sounds like you have a crush on him....................

Insect Overlord

craic an cailin wrote: »

Okay well I'm assuming you're a girl,guys don't tend to over think stuff like this.

Nope...

DoubleChance wrote: »

Hahaha. Oh God, now I feel even weirder for posting this. I'm a guy. Definitely a guy.