Relationship ender?

LegacyUser

This is not the typical end of the world post here but it's a big deal to me to be honest.

My cousin and I were best of friends for quite a while, I came home from being abroad last year and we pretty much hung out every single time we ventured anywhere eg. every Friday or Saturday night out at the minimum. He would also call me almost everyday and vica versa although I don't miss this I just thought I would mention it - gives you an idea of how close we were and how much we hung out.

Anyway he lost his job before Xmas and there was a big shift in his attitude with him being fairly negative. I totally supported him in this time and even up as far as this week. When I say support I mean I would listen to him talk about interview after interview after interview (fair play to him but trust me this was very difficult to listen to over and over again), I gave him a few days work over xmas, completely to help him out at my expense and basically was just very understanding toward him. The interview scenario would become the "talking point" and tbh I felt increasingly like a crutch as he would call me about this a lot and I began realising I never even see the guy anymore but listen to all this crap a lot. The ironic thing is during this time I was diagnosed with a Depression illness which only my brothers know about, it's a pretty big deal and in previous circumstances I think my cousin could have been there for me, to help me talk about it etc. I would not have EXPECTED this but as I said - it's ironic!

He puts his absence down to not having money all the time. I would accept this no bother but the reason Im posting this is because it's come to my attention that I never see him anymore....literally not once since Christmas. I ask him out a lot still but he uses the money excuse which you would expect being on the welfare but then he'll text or drunken call me from the pub usually with his girlfriend or another mate eg. 11pm on Friday and 2.20am last night, whats the point!!

Generally I couldnt care less about this sort of thing but I'm now finding it all patronising and very akward mainly because we are related & even more so because we are both mature-ish in our early 30s - it's also a shame as we got on so well...I'm not sure why it is that he doesn't want to hang out, I'm even fine with it if it is because he thinks I'm an A hole all of a sudden - I'm just tired of hearing these empty invites. So I'd had enough and despite my manliness replied to his text last night in true Female fasion just saying "it'd probably be better if you gave me more of a heads up when going out instead of the aul end of night texts I've been getting"....Normally I steer clear of any sort of talk but I really think he deserves it and besides I could do without him wasting my time anymore. His reply to this came this morning saying "I never plan my nights out or where to go, I'm cool like that OMG kill me".....My first thoughts were "seriously?" - I feel like my reaction is bourne out of constant frustration and maybe I shouldnt have gone there but I also feel he has been an idiot and really immature??

All of this coincides with him meeting a girl before Xmas (who is cool), I was not going to mention this as it might come across as the root of the issue here which it is not at all.

Ive thought about this a lot and just trying to go about it the right way, Should I just drop it and is it best we break contact?

31 year old guy here, Nice one

looksee

It sounds as though he has already broken contact, apart from late night drunken messing. Why are you still hanging on? I understand he is your cousin, but really that has nothing to do with it. He has drifted away, accept it and get on with creating other relationships.

I don't even think it is worth a lot of heartache - he was there for you when you came back from abroad, maybe he (vaguely) thinks its time you picked up the strings of your own life. I don't think there has to be any dramatic relationship breaking - he's bound to be around if he is family, just go your own way.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I know you said the girl isn;t the issue, but I think she is. Not in the way you mean it, but his attention is obviously focussed somewhere else.

It happens a lot in the late 20s/early 30s - friedns getting paired off, married and you suddenly relise how little you see them.

Why not just ask him round to watch a game/movie/whatever seeing as money's an issue. Have a couple of other mates around as well if you think it would help.

It way well be as the poster above has said and he;s drifted. Shame, but sometimes it is what it is and you have to accept it.