really worried and need advice, how to help suicidal friend

afterglow

Hi all

Really hoping for some good advice on this issue, as I am kind of lost and don't know where to turn, and I see fantastic advice on this forum often, so here goes...

Bit of background first.
My partner went to college, and is still in touch with a girl who we now both play music, and sing with sometimes(he studied music) and this girl has a boyfriend herself.
We have being going out as a forsome for a few months now, and have really great times/laughs together and they are two incredibly nice people!!!!
The problems came however at the end of one night, when our friend's partner, the boyfriend, was very drunk. he started saying to us that he feels worthless, and that he feels like **** all the time. he said he wished he wasn't here, and that it wouldn't take very much for him to end his life. We went home and both my partner and myself talked about how awful it was etc but didn't really think anything more of it, I mean obviously we wanted to help but like I said at that stage we sort of assumed it might have been the drink talking.
Fast forward to about a week ago then, we were out again, and we were walking home. Myself and my partner are both totally blind(only writing this as it's relivant to the story)
So I was with our friend's bf and my partner was with the friend I spoke about prieviously. I stupidly wore heals that night, so we were some distance behind my bf and our friend who was guiding him. When we were walking, friend's bf, who was guiding me was chatting away all the while. He was saying same kind of stuff as before, how he felt low, worthless, insignifficant etc, and then, the thing that hit me hardest of all, and that really made me see he was serious happened. He actually started to cry....
I knew then, and know now that this was not brought on by the drink. We were out again the other night and the same kind of situation happened. He has given us a good bit of background to why he feels the way he does, and it's fair to say he has had a really difficult life up to now, and has not been really treated very well by anyone, in fact he has been treated appawlingly in my opinion. I know now that he is deadly serious about what he says which scares me, and the other night, he actually told us that he had thought about how to do it before, but what he was thinking wasn't going to work out.
This really scared me personally, as I have been there myself in the past, but thankfully, am alright now. Myself and my partner really want to help him, and are at a loss currently as to how to do this. When I have texted him the day after, he is always greatful to receive a text and to know there is a listening ear, but how can we take this further to let him know that we are there for him and make sure he receives the help that he needs?
Any advice greatly appreciated and thanks for taking the time to read.

tinner777

afterglow wrote: »

Hi all

Really hoping for some good advice on this issue, as I am kind of lost and don't know where to turn, and I see fantastic advice on this forum often, so here goes...

Bit of background first.
My partner went to college, and is still in touch with a girl who we now both play music, and sing with sometimes(he studied music) and this girl has a boyfriend herself.
We have being going out as a forsome for a few months now, and have really great times/laughs together and they are two incredibly nice people!!!!
The problems came however at the end of one night, when our friend's partner, the boyfriend, was very drunk. he started saying to us that he feels worthless, and that he feels like **** all the time. he said he wished he wasn't here, and that it wouldn't take very much for him to end his life. We went home and both my partner and myself talked about how awful it was etc but didn't really think anything more of it, I mean obviously we wanted to help but like I said at that stage we sort of assumed it might have been the drink talking.
Fast forward to about a week ago then, we were out again, and we were walking home. Myself and my partner are both totally blind(only writing this as it's relivant to the story)
So I was with our friend's bf and my partner was with the friend I spoke about prieviously. I stupidly wore heals that night, so we were some distance behind my bf and our friend who was guiding him. When we were walking, friend's bf, who was guiding me was chatting away all the while. He was saying same kind of stuff as before, how he felt low, worthless, insignifficant etc, and then, the thing that hit me hardest of all, and that really made me see he was serious happened. He actually started to cry....
I knew then, and know now that this was not brought on by the drink. We were out again the other night and the same kind of situation happened. He has given us a good bit of background to why he feels the way he does, and it's fair to say he has had a really difficult life up to now, and has not been really treated very well by anyone, in fact he has been treated appawlingly in my opinion. I know now that he is deadly serious about what he says which scares me, and the other night, he actually told us that he had thought about how to do it before, but what he was thinking wasn't going to work out.
This really scared me personally, as I have been there myself in the past, but thankfully, am alright now. Myself and my partner really want to help him, and are at a loss currently as to how to do this. When I have texted him the day after, he is always greatful to receive a text and to know there is a listening ear, but how can we take this further to let him know that we are there for him and make sure he receives the help that he needs?
Any advice greatly appreciated and thanks for taking the time to read.

Stop him drinking and get him to his own gp for a chat. Keep listening to him you don't need to do any more

a fat guy

I'd imagine that his life is only now starting to get better, but he's still feeling the effects of how he's been treated in he past.

Lend a shoulder to cry on, suggest counselling, and don't tell anyone else what he's going through unless he expressly tells you that he wants you to.

December2012

Go and chat to him, and ask him about his feelings.

The aim would be to have him feel comfortable enough to open up to a GP and a therapist, but he might not be ready for that, nor see that this is the way to feel better.

Sometimes when you're that down its very hard to get up.

Keep talking to him about other stuff, but do talk to him about his suicidal expressions.

An organisation like Console or Pieta House might be able to put you on the right path.