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Write the story!

  • 15-03-2013 11:21am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 866 ✭✭✭


    So the idea is, you carry on the story, for a sentence or even a few words, following on from the post above you. Try and allow for the story to continue as much as possible, ("And then he died" isn't going to keep the story going!) :)


    "So I got up, was just ready to go, hand almost on the door, when I suddenly remembered my.."

    Someone continue!


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,891 ✭✭✭iamanengine


    Palytoxin wrote: »
    So the idea is, you carry on the story, for a sentence or even a few words, following on from the post above you. Try and allow for the story to continue as much as possible, ("And then he died" isn't going to keep the story going!) :)


    "So I got up, was just ready to go, hand almost on the door, when I suddenly remembered my.."

    Someone continue!

    house is in space! I forgot my space helmet and oxegen :pac: Silly me! How forgetful I am. Almost like that time I..


  • Registered Users Posts: 428 ✭✭Acciaccatura


    house is in space! I forgot my space helmet and oxegen :pac: Silly me! How forgetful I am. Almost like that time I..

    forgot the bathroom had been redecorated and thought the toilet was on the other side of the room and in a bladder emergency peed all over the floor. I was sleepy, cut me some slack. Anyhoo, I was really excited for today because...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,514 ✭✭✭PseudoFamous


    I was free from the police force and all the damned regulations I was held to. They called me a maverick, I called them space-chumps. I stepped into the cold nothingness of low atmosphere, unaware of the troubles comimg back to haunt me. As I went about my daily space business, a space broad propositioned me: "Hey handsome, you lookin' for a good time?" she asked stereotypically.

    I was taken aback. That blond hair, that harsh drawl formed with a thousand cigarettes, it could be no other than Jess. Jess and me had had a space fling on Cylar 17 when we were younger. She ended up leaving me for some chump on a spacecycle to have an abusive relationship, I hadn't heard about her in years. I knew this girl was trouble, trouble has a way of finding me.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    It was the sharp rapping on my chamber door that awoke me from this slumber filled with dreams of far off worlds. I sat up in the early morning light and groggily wiped my eyes. Slowly, I pulled the heavy red curtains that surrounded the oak four poster bed open, and gingerly placed my feet on the ice cold concrete.

    *rap, rap, rap*

    "CATHERINE!"

    The shrill tone of the Nurse Maid pierced my eardrums. Why she felt the need to begin every morning with this performance I do not know. Reluctantly, I drew my shawl around my shoulders, and moved towards the heavy wooden door. Unlocking it, and with a huge sigh of trepidation, I pulled the door open. To my horror, what I saw was...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭jefreywithonef


    a half Nurse Maid half sheep creature!

    "Eee gad!" I hollered in disgust.

    Nurse Maid was never that easy on the eye but by some cruel twist of fate the left side of her body had morphed into the body of a sheep!

    "Eee gad!" I hollered in disgust a second time.

    "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

    "Eee ga-"

    DUSH!

    I had no time to finish my sentence - Half Nurse Maid Half Sheep butted me in the head! There was nothing I could do but react to the action that had just taken place and I reacted by falling over in agony.

    I black out.

    I see stars.

    I change tense.

    I see the wretched sight of a Half Nurse Maid Half Sheep standing over me.

    Fear overwhelms me.

    Ignoring both my wounded pride and wounded forehead, I try to sound rational and plead with her.

    "Oi! What yer do 'at for?"

    "Shaaaaat it Caffrine!" she bleats back, her mismatched eyes glaring into the essence of my soul. Via my eyes.

    "W-what happ-ppp-pppp-ppppened you? Your face?! Your body?!"

    "Shaaaaat it! I've adda nuff o' yer cheek!" she screams back. And to make her point more literal she rips off my left cheek.

    Blood pours from my face. I scream. Composure deserts me. This crazy creature just tore off my ruddy cheek! She's going to kill me! Sheer panic sets in - I must get out of this room. The door is blocked by this large, mysterious and odious monster. I dash toward the only other possible exit, the window - its single glaze representing my only hope of freedom. Pah! And people thought I was mad not to invest in double glazed windows for the harsh cold winter! My enemy chasing behind me I reach the window. Smashing my fist through it, I climb onto the ledge and start squeezing my way through the remaining bits of glass, my escape seconds away from completion when alas, my indulgence for overeating becomes my undoing and I become stuck. I am loathe to admit my weakness though and instead curse the architect of the house and also the local food market for its competitive pricing and nutritious treats. In any case, it looks as if I'm dead meat.

    Half Nurse Maid Half Sheep erupts into laughter, a crude callous cackling. A putrid smell has reached my nostrils; she has literally píssed her hole laughing. I tell her it's not my fault - it's the local food market's fault for its competitive pricing and nutritious treats, but she ignores me and continues to rupture my eardrums with her cacophony.

    "Shaddap ye old bag!" I scream, the indignity of my current situation getting the better of me, provoking such foul and unbecoming language.

    Her laughing ends abruptly. I nervously glance back to see her face fuming, hand clenched and hoof shaking, her recent mirth a distant memory. Go tobann, she reaces under her wool, brandishes a knife and edges toward me.

    "Gulp," I say aloud, inexplicably and moronically. I make another desperate attempt to free myself from the window but my exertions are stopped by the sharp jarring sensation of knife through flesh as my enemy starts hacking at my left leg. I scream. Then scream some more. Even more when I realise I only have one leg now. Panic-mode sets in again - I spot a shard of glass on the outer window ledge and in one swooping move thrust it right through her left eye!

    SQUISH!

    "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she screams like a screaming sheep. I unplug my makeshift weapon - she has now dropped her knife and is stooped over clutching her bloody face. One leg gone and adrenalin kicking in, I slowly manage to loosen myself out of the window. I spy the knife; I spy the now vulnerable Half Nurse Maid Half Sheep; I spy a good chance of victory!

    Neither a hunter nor a London schoolboy, my knife-fighting skills are limited but nonetheless I make stabbing motions toward her body. Unfortunately, it does little damage and only causes some wool to fall off. She swats me off and still unstable from recently losing a leg I stumble, but ingeniously, I shove the knife through her pitiful sheep's leg and out the other side, cutting it right off. Eat my goal!

    1-1.

    "How'd ya like dem applesss!" I roar, rhetorically, delighted that I now wasn't the only severely disfigured person in the room.

    "YOU BLEEDIN' COW!" she responds.

    Delight subsides as I remember I'm fighting some weird sheep-human hybrid which for some unexplained reason is trying to murder me.

    She starts to pummel my face.

    POW!

    I get punched right in the kisser.

    WHAM!

    I get punched right in the kisser.

    BOSH!

    I get punched right in the kisser.

    PUNCH!

    I get punched right in the kisser.

    She then throws herself at me and wrestles me to the ground. It resembles highly niche pornography until she starts whacking me in the face with my old leg. Luckily, I find her old sheep leg within reach and BOOM! I smash it over her head. She's temporarily stunned. I realise that the pointy sheep leg can also be used as a makeshift yet fashionable cane; furthermore, I shove some wool into my wounds to curb the flow of blood. My improvisation cheers me up; that is, right until I remember I'm likely to die soon. Still good though.

    I am tired, weary and massively drained of blood but I hobble out of the house. I look over my shoulder and see HNMHS stumbling after me. I reach the road; at the end is a village and more suitable weapons for inflicting death upon unwanted mutants. Outrun the beast and survival is possible.

    No. I decide running is futile. Not only futile but bloody tiring - it's a long road. I wouldn't make it. No, I must stay and fight. To the death? Hopefully not, but it seems ruddy bloody likely.

    I think of sayings related to war and try to muster some inspiration. But each saying either perplexes or annoys me. "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers" - well, duh; "To overcome fear one must become fear itself" - eh?!; "LEEEEEROOOYYYYYY JEEEEEEEENKIIIIINS!" - not really applicable; "Only the dead have seen the end of war" - that's because they're dead you assbutt!

    So here I am: up shít creek, seconds away from my last hurrah and devoid of inspiration. Where are my words to bravely take to the grave? Where is my Hollywood epiphany?

    I look down, sullen and massively disabled. I catch my reflection in a puddle and nearly soil myself.

    A jaded half-human half-sheep figure stares back at me.

    "To overcome fear you must become fear itself".

    Fear: HNMHS - the thing that so fiendishly woke me up from my beloved cybernoir.

    I have become my fear.

    Sort of.

    There's some wool on my face and I stole one of her legs.

    It's a bit laboured.

    But fuck it, you get the idea.

    The smell of piss re-enters my nostrils; she is within spitting distance. It is time to unleash the dogs of war. It is time to rip this sheep a new anus.

    NO MERCY! NO FEAR!

    I strip naked and bellow a battle cry like no other:

    "FUCK IT

    DO IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

    I hold aloft my sheep's leg and charge towards my foe.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,813 ✭✭✭Togepi


    Suddenly...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,514 ✭✭✭PseudoFamous


    I exited my fugue state, realising I had beaten Jess to death with my spacebaton. Oh well, back to cybernoir.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    I walked forward a few steps, my legs feeling like jelly, and not just the usual lack of gravity feeling. I stare down at Jess. As I peered into her glassy eyes, all those feelings from that glorious summer on Cylar 17 came flooding back. I had truly loved her. And she had left me for some space-cycle riding space-chump. I had lied to myself for many years. Bottled up the hurt. But seeing her again today had made it all come rushing back.

    And now she was dead by my hand.

    I felt nauseous. My spacebaton fell from hand and clattered to the ground with a loud metallic bang.

    Suddenly, the ground began to move beneath me. I leapt backwards, instantly lifted from my post-murder haze.

    Jess' body slowly crumpled and fell into the increasing chasm that was appearing. An ominous glow began to pulsate from within, as the panels which comprised the floor came to a halt. I cautiously approached the edge and peered down...

    It appeared to be some sort of portal...

    Behind me, passers by who had seen me bludgeon Jess to death were finally taking action. I remember briefly thinking to myself how strange it was that they hadn't immediately called the Space Police. Sirens erupted in the distance. I knew I had very little time. My choices became instantly clear. Stay here and be arrested, or jump into this mysterious portal...

    I don't know why it didn't occur to me to steal one of the many space-vehicles which were nearby, but, had I known what I know now, I certainly would have taken that option as opposed to what I did...


  • Registered Users Posts: 337 ✭✭Jacks Smirking Revenge


    I jumped into the mysterious portal, a calm washed over me as was I just about to come out the other-side. But my hopes were soon diminished as I noticed that the portal had led to...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,514 ✭✭✭PseudoFamous


    Another portal a mere 12 meters from the first.


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 6,068 Mod ✭✭✭✭LoonyLovegood


    "Dammit," I muttered under my breath. Stupid bloody portals. I ran the few feet and took Jess' spacecycle, thrilled to see the cheap wig in the storage area. I could now disguise myself as someone other than a murderer. Putting it on, I drove away, straight towards the police. One look at the wig and my feminine duck face and I was free. But where could I go?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,498 ✭✭✭Jamie Starr


    Where should I go? I was alone, and life was making me lonely. "I could always go downtown." I thought. Driving through all the noise and the hurry on the space-cycle seemed to help my worries. The traffic in the city was musical, and I stopped for awhile to take in the neon skywriting ensconcing me, since I had nothing to lose by it anyway.

    The lights were much brighter there, and I soon forgot my troubles. Turned out that the city which had led me on a wild, multi-dimensional goose chase was great. I felt like, for sure, there was no finer place. Everything was waiting for me. But I couldn't hang around, otherwise my troubles would soon surround me. I decided to find somewhere to lay low for awhile, and ducked into a nearby movie show. I hoped the little place would never close, but when it did, I stumbled out on to the streets and met with the rhythm of a gentle bossanova. I thought "You'll be dancing with them before the night is over" as I shuffled happily through the incandescent jungle.

    I felt a freedom in this pink and green chandelier world, and sensed a new life was waiting for me that night, and that I was gonna be alright. Hell, maybe I'd even find somebody kind to help me and understand my mallard butt - someone just like me, needing a gentle hand to guide them along. If there was one place I would see them, it was here. Here we could forget all our troubles and cares. I knew how great that moment would be, and I couldn't hold on a minute more, when I thought of everything waiting for me

    Downtown.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    I woke several hours later with a pounding headache.

    The dank room stank of liquor, sex and regret. Sunlight streamed through a gap in the curtains, illuminating the giant mass which slumbered beside me...

    Was this the someone I had been looking for? Or was it just the best I could get at closing time?

    I cursed my binge drinking as the the creature beside me stirred. I had a feeling my questions would soon be answered...


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    And as the monstrosity next to me rumbled and awoke with a growl that would make chuck norris wet himself, I saw the face of the creature, the one they call Davidius.


  • Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭tr0llface


    I immediately jumped out of bed, biting my cheeks in a desperate attempt to contain shrieks of horror. I fastened the belt on my trusty anorak and tiptoed my way out into the hallway, pausing briefly to whisper "jaysus chrishhhhhttt" as I banged my big toe against the leg of a rickety table.

    When I emerged outside, I couldn't quite tell where I was......


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,014 ✭✭✭Colm!


    ...plus, I had for the second morning in a row, forgotten that I was in space.


  • Registered Users Posts: 337 ✭✭Jacks Smirking Revenge


    Space amnesia has become quite a problem for me lately...


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 14,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭wnolan1992


    I was torn from my lamentations about space amnesia by a shriek from across the street.

    "THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE GUY THAT KILLED THAT GIRL AT THE SPACEFUEL SPACESTATION!"

    In my quest to forget about Jess, I had completely forgotten about Jess. I began to think that maybe it would have been a better idea to go into hiding as opposed to going out to a series of high profile night clubs and getting drunk. Now I would have to go on the run with a hangover, and with my energy depleted from whatever it was I did with that monstrosity I had just escaped from.

    For once, luck was on my side, a courier had left a spacecycle idling just in front of me. I climbed aboard and peeled out of the parking spot, ascending into the air as fast as the antiquated motor would allow. Below, passersby were videoing me on their spacephones. For the first time in my life I thanked the space Gods that we live in a society where people will video events rather than take action.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,891 ✭✭✭iamanengine


    I now began to wonder, how the hell has it been so easy to escape these so called space-police folks?! I've just murdered someone and followed it up by hitting Downtown and getting drunk, and yet here I am on my little bike supposedly being chased by the police, again, but I imagine I'll get away because they just seem lazy if you ask me. Some sort of reform is needed in the police ranks it seems, rife with corruption I imagine.

    And what the hell was with the Half maid half sheep thing? One second I'm about to murder Jess, and the next my leg's been cut off!
    Oh well, one must wonder, is it all a dream?

    No, no it is not. The police have now bothered to get their arse in gear and have started shooting at me. Feck. Perhaps I should go Downtown again? No, tis a silly place.

    Suddenly, this really epic and intense chase song starts from nowhere, the name of which I cannot recall, possibly down to my recent space amnesia. So this is it, the chase is ON.

    But then I begin to wonder...if I have space amnesia what the hell else did I do?! And how on earth did I get, what appears to be a teleportation device. I should press it, but where and when will it take me?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,014 ✭✭✭Colm!


    I pressed the button. I'm not quite sure what happened next, because a second later I found myself in a more unfamiliar surrounding than the first.
    There's white, blank walls. A wooden table stands in the centre of the room under a flickering light. There's an antiquated pistol, two cyanide tablets, a Nazi uniform, and a document, written mostly in German. It's dated April 15th, 1945.

    Quietly, I wonder if I'm drifting into another hallucination. I still don't know what led me to murder Jess. I always knew she was trouble, always knew that one day she'd lead me into the seedy, dark underworld of the galaxies where the scum settled to deal on the dark sides of many moons. You see people wash up every morning downtown from those sort of places, space cocaine covering the faces of sin itself. And somehow something about her took me into this deep sedation, and I seemed to battle some demon deep within my mind.

    No longer sure if I'm dreaming or in reality, on the run or safe once more, dead or even alive, I decide I'll don the uniform, and face into whatever world this is.
    There's a mirror on the wall behind me.
    That square moustache never looked so great.

    (using Simpsons Hitler as my boards avatar and reading this thread leads to a weird thought process)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 337 ✭✭Jacks Smirking Revenge


    ...but there was not much time for me to sit and admire my quite fetching facial hair as I had now been suddenly teleported somewhere else.

    I know not where I landed. All I know is that I landed in a large building full of people in robes with long beards and small hats on the back of their heads....and they were less than pleased to see me...


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