Girlfriend or OZ/career.

teaand biscuits

Hi all,
I am a male in my late 2o's,I currently am in Australia.Oh here is my problem or Question.I meet this girl at home about 4 months before i came out.we began dating and our relationship moved quickly.I knew off this girl before we got involved so she lives close to my home.

I knew i was coming out here and never hide it from her during our time she helped me with getting stuff ready and so on.I fell for her and her for me (i THink).we just kinda clicked and got each other in away.It was all good.

We decided that it was up to me over here and so i kept in contact once twice a week and viber odd days aswell every thing is great between us and i have fallen even more for her.When i was coming over it was to travel see what options were over here and if i liked it.

At the start i hated it and really noting has worked out for me.It kinda cause ill except that i have always been thinking of home and her and did not settle.But now nearly six months over here i am goin to travel east coast and head home to my girl.But when i think of home and what's really there,i think that really if i bothered and took my finger out i could really make it over here.

She wont come out for personal reasons but says she'll travel next year with me.but if i go home i might prob wont get back in here.At home i have one option for work and if that fails there is nothing.

If i say this to her she just switches subject,It would be horrible for her if i just finished it and to be honest don't really want to but i know i have to not in a bad way look after my own interest too.?

What should i do just give her that ultimatum? break it off head down and go for it.?Confused isn't the word for me right now!
thanks.

LegacyUser

Only you can decide what you really want but as someone who has had the oz experience I know that it's not all rosy down under. It can be incredibly lonely even with a good network around you. Aswell as that it's not that easy to find work. I have lots of friends (although mostly female) who have struggled to find work there. Maybe you should give it your best shot to find a job and see what happens? You don't have to stay there indefinitely, 6 months would be good experience to come home with and it's not too much longer to be apart.you can also say that you tried your best. Even though the jobmarket is tough in Ireland don't be afraid to come home to your girl if that's what your heart is set on, remember there's 86% of the nation in employment

okiss

At your age you have to think of your own career and long term prospects as the decisions you make now could or will have a long term effect on your life.
I would start to look really hard for what options you have to stay in Australia. Have you a skill they need? Could you get a job that could lead to someone applying for you to stay in the country?

Your girlfriend has switched the subject when you have told her that you have only one option of work here in Ireland if you come back. Your girlfriend needs to realise that you are coming back here for her. I don't think that she would be of great support if you ended up on the dole.
Also you could find it hard to get the dole here when you come back.
You could also be waiting a while to get tax back from Oz once you send the forms
If you got a chance to get a further 6 to 12 months work in Oz in your chosen career it will benefit you long term. It may give you a better chance of getting work in Ireland or in the Uk.
You could leave Oz to come back to this girl. In six months time you could be on the dole with no girlfriend.

LegacyUser

Hi op, it must be very hard to decide what to do, If you on a working holiday visa you could do your 88 days farm work to get your 2nd year visa, then you could come home see how things go with the job and girlfriend and if they dont work out you have the option of going back to oz at a later stage and in the 88 days will give you a chance to save up some extra cash that will come in handy when you get back home.

I have just come back from 2 years in oz and people who think oz is the be all and end all dont have a clus. oz is not for everyone, despite what people in ireland think its damn hard to get a job over there, you are away from everything and aussie dont love the irish like people make out a lot of people stay there even if their not happy because they think they are a faliure if they come home their not oz is not for everyone. I loved my time there and so happy i had the experience but it is hard and i was with my bofriend so i can only imgain how difficult for you being away from your girlfriend.

Just think about it this way you will always get a job somewhere but you might not find a girl like her again (maybe im being to much of a romantic)

amy_m

I am in pretty much the same situation but I am the one that is at home and he is halfway around the world.

We were together for slightly less time than you were and again it was always known he was heading off. When he went out first I could tell he wasn't settling in that well and he was missing home. However things began to settle down and he landed himself a good job and a new circle of friends.

We both avoided the whole where is this relationship going talk for ages as we were both afraid to admit it wasn't gonna work in the long term as he is going to stay on as he now has a good permanent job. I am going out to see him for a while during the summer but this was arranged a while ago.

After a while I accepted that at the minute he is better off out there. I know it's not as easy as some people think and I have admiration for anyone that does emigrate. If he was to come home he would end up struggling as jobs are hard to come by in his area and he has a good job out there. If he was to come home it would essentially be for me and if things were not to work out I'm sure he would resent me for missing his opportunity to make a go of things out there.

That's not to say that I don't miss him either. There hasn't been a day gone by that I didn't think about him since he left. Sometimes, especially if I've had a bad day there is nothing more I'd like than to come home and just get a hug off him.

When he does decide to come home I want it to be for the right reasons and not just for me. If things are meant to be we will end up together again some day, hopefully on the same continent!

I don't think you should give her an ultimatum as such but have a serious talk about it, maybe send her a letter first so she can understand where you are coming from(old fashioned but still!), there is only so long we can bury our head in the sand before we properly discuss the situation. It isn't fair on either party to be in limbo land as such over what is happening.