friend acting distance :( can a relationship ruin a friendship??

LegacyUser

ok, im crazy about him!!! we met during the summer. hit it off straight away, got on absolutely brilliant. he was all about me, constantly texting etc etc. we spent a lot of time together. however at the time we started realising we liked eachother around october (without saying it to eachother), i was about a week out of a long term relationship. a few weeks ago, we were at a mutual friends birthday party, we stuck together all night, and ended up kissing. he hasnt been the same with me since!!!

i KNOW he likes (liked maybe?), but now he doesnt contact me as much anymore, he doesnt stick around too long with our group and seems uncomfortable when we're alone together. hes got this air of sadness around him with me, but with others hes happy and laughing and DOES contact them the same amount, if not more!!

after us kissing, if he liked me, why did he start giving me a cold shoulder??? why isnt he all about me as much anymore???!! all our mutual friends say its too obvious he likes me! and one told me he probably doesnt want to f*** up the friendship we have and thats why he hasnt done anything about it! but i think we would be great together!!! but when i look at him from far away he just looks sad, he doesnt have that spring in his step anymore! how do i go about talking to him without making him so uncomfortable??? im afraid to ask him to come somewhere with me to talk, incase he doesnt want to and avoids me, i think hes the type that would do that! i care alot about him, and i know theres something up, whether its me or not, i dont know, i just want us to be ok again and want him to be his old self! this is driving me insane and need help and your opinions ! sorry bout the long post!!! thanks in advance!!!

CaraMay

Maybe there was just no chemistry when ye did kiss and he feels awkward about backing off or leading you on. Sorry op. if he were interested you would know.

Brego888

I agree with caramay
It that old chestnut he's just not that into you

kylith

It may be that he's nervous about progressing the relationship. He may think that because you were at a party, and presumably drinking, that you only kissed him because you were drunk, and he's avoiding you because he's afraid of the "I like you, but..." conversation.

Take the matter into your own hands, ask him out properly. If he says yes, happy days, if he says no, at least you'll know and you can move on.

Meauldsegosha

fancyfriend wrote: »

all our mutual friends say its too obvious he likes me! and one told me he probably doesnt want to f*** up the friendship we have and thats why he hasnt done anything about it! but i think we would be great together!!! but when i look at him from far away he just looks sad, he doesnt have that spring in his step anymore! how do i go about talking to him without making him so uncomfortable??? im afraid to ask him to come somewhere with me to talk, incase he doesnt want to and avoids me, i think hes the type that would do that! i care alot about him, and i know theres something up, whether its me or not, i dont know, i just want us to be ok again and want him to be his old self! this is driving me insane and need help and your opinions ! sorry bout the long post!!! thanks in advance!!!

But he is already ruining the firendship by his actions so that doesn't make sense. If it was me I would talk to him about it what have to got to lose at this stage he is already avoiding you.

kiffer

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

But he is already ruining the firendship by his actions so that doesn't make sense. If it was me I would talk to him about it what have to got to lose at this stage he is already avoiding you.

People often do things that are less than totally sensible...
There's all sorts of reasons he might be behaving differently, he might think you aren't into him and so he doesn't want to try for more in case you reject him, he might not actually be that into you and is embarrassed to say anything... he might really like you but is afraid you'll think he was only being your friend as a ruse to get in your pants.
The only way to find out is to ask... just don't say "We have to talk..." that will just have him running scared. Take a risk and tell him you're interested in something more...

Millie77

Hi! I was in exactly your situation a few months back. I would try to talk to him but if he pushes you away just leave it. You said he seems happy when around other people so maybe the situation with you two has confused him. It may be nothing to do with you, he might not be ready to take things any further. I know I spent a long time trying to figure out my situation and in the end realised it was his insecurities and nothing to do with me. Best of luck with it!