advice needed

LegacyUser

ok so i was sick of having a ground hog day everyday, work, sleep go out at weekend etc. im a single guy in my early 30's so i decided to do something about it and finally decided to immigrate to other side of the world.

my plan is to go on my own maybe june/july. but now i have met someone special this person is aware of my intentions but we are getting very close and now my mind is a mess. she is everything id want in a person and have liked her for ages now we are together. ive still full intentions to go but am confused, excited, sad. would really love some advice, i cant stop thinking of her and she is what ive been after for years. but i know if it doesnt work out I could regret not going abroad, which i dont want to happen. I guess im just asking what peoples views are and how would you deal with a situation like this.

Thanks in advance.

Stavro Mueller

I guess it's which you want more. If it was me I'd stick around and see what happens with the relationship. If it doesn't work out in the short term you can still go, can you not? Why is it that you're emigrating? You mentioned work so I'm working on the basis here that you have a job and that you're bored and want something different. Or maybe this girl isn't enough. Only you can decide.

SunnyDub1

she knows your leaving right? So she knows it's not gonna get serious or be long term. Maybe this suits her and she just she just sees it has abit of fun before you leave.
She can't expect anything to come of it if you are leaving - that's just selfish behavior on her part imo.

Maybe cool back on the relationship with her, and try not be so involved with her. It won't be healthy for either of you in the long run when you are leaving.

Don't trow away life plans just for 1 person that you have only known a short time,who's to say that you stay here and split up a few months later.
If you go on your travels, and decide it's not for you you could always come back and try with her again.

P. Breathnach

There was nothing especially good about your life here so you decided to leave the country. Now there seems to be something especially good developing. So your basic reason for leaving has been, at least, undermined.

Can you not give the relationship a chance? Is there anything written in stone about June/July?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replys guys.

Well to answer some of the questions, my main reason leaving was that i felt like i have no connection with anyone here. so was fed up with time going by and nothing exciting happening in my life, as i really think i have so much to give to people in heart/spirit, but people I have met has the usual view on things football, pubs, tv shows, gossip. etc which is fine for some but i have no interest. So i decided to do something about it. I have cut down on my alcohol intake, worked out so now im in great shape phyically. so i am in a happy place but not having someone special was getting to me so in a way it is one reason for leaving.

But now I think that has changed, because we have met, we have both discussed we know we kinda are playing with fire, but we cant help it , we like each other too much not too see each other.

as asked above June/July is not in concrete, its just the times i have had in my head, do have alot of time to activate my visa, but dont want to put it on hold either........ahhhh so headwrecking.

I am aware too that I could regret missing the opportunity to see the world too.. but i havent felt like this about someone in so many years . oh I just dont know ..............

Stavro Mueller

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

If you go on your travels, and decide it's not for you you could always come back and try with her again.

That's assuming she'll still be single when he gets back. He says he has liked her for ages and now they're together. But still that doesn't appear to be enough. So it's down to priorities. Does he want to give up on the chance of a happy relationship and perhaps and a new life? Or does he still feel he has to go despite things changing?

SunnyDub1

cymbaline wrote: »

That's assuming she'll still be single when he gets back. He says he has liked her for ages and now they're together. But still that doesn't appear to be enough. So it's down to priorities. Does he want to give up on the chance of a happy relationship and perhaps and a new life? Or does he still feel he has to go despite things changing?

That's the risk he's just gonna have to take.

But imo don't drop and change all your plans for someone the op doesn't seem to have known that long. What might seem all great and lovely now could turn s*it in a few months, then how would the op feel. Plus the fact that the woman knows that he is leaving the country soon so maybe it suits her the way things are now and she has no intension of committing herself to a serious relationship.