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Happy Mother's Day to all the Mammies

  • 10-03-2013 12:01am
    #1
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭



    :cool:


Comments

  • #2
    Dwork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Dwork


    My Missus said "What did you get me for Mothers day?".
    I said-"You aint my Mammy, go ask the kids."

    Picture and no sound.


  • #3
    ashers222
    Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭ashers222


    Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.


  • #4
    Lyssa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,601 ✭✭✭Lyssa


    Dwork wrote: »
    My Missus said "What did you get me for Mothers day?".
    I said-"You aint my Mammy, go ask the kids."

    Picture and no sound.

    The amount of 'To my Wife on Mothers Day' cards I saw earlier, baffled me.... She's your wife, not your fecking mammy....


  • #5
    dodderangler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,204 ✭✭✭dodderangler


    ashers222 wrote: »
    Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
    To mamma so ugly she scared her own shadow away


  • #6
    ashers222
    Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭ashers222


    dodderangler wrote: »
    To mamma so ugly she scared her own shadow away
    Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch


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  • #7
    LETHAL LADY
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭LETHAL LADY


    Thanks, it was worth the episiotomy.


  • #8
    dodderangler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,204 ✭✭✭dodderangler


    ashers222 wrote: »
    Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch
    Yo mamma so stupid she think tiger woods is a Forrest in india


  • #9
    Dwork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Dwork


    Your Momma so nice she wiped your butt ugly as5. So go buy her flowers, you S.O.B. I buy my Momma flowers, she sulks otherwise. Ok,"buy" is not true. I make sure ye can all get flowers on Mothers day eve, so I get mine free. But it's the thought that counts.


  • #10
    longshanks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    Yo mama so fat she the reason the universe is expanding.



    But really though, mammies are cool so get them something nice. Wine, flowers, a massage or health spa jiggerypokery, chocolates, the list is endless...
    Don't be the dickhead moaning about the commercialism/hallmark holiday whateverness of the thing.
    Appreciate them, and sandwiches will follow.


  • #11
    Gatling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,291 ✭✭✭✭Gatling


    Hang on a minute ,
    February Valentine's day,
    March international women's day
    March mothers day.

    How many more days do you need for women,


    When can we have the international man flu survivors day
    360_F_102352090_ie3kLjDIvgrT1sxVDknWCUh8PxgMYzM7.jpg




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  • #12
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Gatling wrote: »
    Hang on a minute ,
    February Valentine's day,
    March international women's day
    March mothers day.

    How many more days do you need for women,


    When can we have the international man flu survivors day

    Mammies are the most import women to me


  • #13
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,231 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Mylina wrote: »
    The amount of 'To my Wife on Mothers Day' cards I saw earlier, baffled me.... She's your wife, not your fecking mammy....

    They sell a lot of those cards in Deliverance country where the mammy usually is the wife, and the son/husband goes by the name of Cletus.


  • #14
    LETHAL LADY
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭LETHAL LADY


    This thread needs a bit of Al Jolson

    http://youtu.be/Tiz4NxOpSVU


  • #15
    Chucken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Gatling wrote: »


    When can we have the international man flu survivors day

    When you manage to push a melon out a nostril :p
    ....and then manage to keep it alive for 18 years before it meets another melon to live with :)


  • #16
    pebbles21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    Mothers day...the most confusing day of the year in Ballym....no wait...

    /gets coat


  • #17
    Dwork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Dwork


    Chucken wrote: »
    When you manage to push a melon out a nostril :p
    ....and then manage to keep it alive for 18 years before it meets another melon to live with :)
    A nostril? Hanger doors of Terminal 1 more like.


  • #18
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Chucken wrote: »
    When you manage to push a melon out a nostril :p
    ....and then manage to keep it alive for 18 years before it meets another melon to live with :)

    I carried a Water Melon!


  • #19
    Lyssa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,601 ✭✭✭Lyssa


    efb wrote: »
    I carried a Water Melon!

    Favourite. Film. EVER!!! :D


  • #20
    longshanks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    efb wrote: »
    I carried a Water Melon!

    So did I. I carried it to the kitchen, chopped it up, then ate some of it and put the rest in th ffridge.


  • #21
    Dwork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Dwork


    longshanks wrote: »
    So did I. I carried it to the kitchen, chopped it up, then ate some of it and put the rest in th ffridge.
    was it a Ffrench fridge?


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  • #22
    longshanks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    Dwork wrote: »
    was it a Ffrench fridge?

    No. Don't be fucking stupid.


  • #23
    B.A._Baracus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,218 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Man I was on so much cocaine when i recorded this song :(


  • #24
    Chemical Burn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 545 ✭✭✭Chemical Burn


    Happy Mothers' Day mammy, I may be a prick to you sometimes and a selfish bastard, but you do so much for me and I couldn't be luckier or happier to have a mammy like you. Love you to bits :) xxx


  • #25
    Gatling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,291 ✭✭✭✭Gatling


    Chemical Burn wrote: »
    Happy Mothers' Day mammy, I may be a prick to you sometimes and a selfish bastard, but you do so much for me and I couldn't be luckier or happier to have a mammy like you. Love you to bits :) xxx

    Posted on boards because its cheaper than a card
    360_F_102352090_ie3kLjDIvgrT1sxVDknWCUh8PxgMYzM7.jpg




  • #26
    MarkHitide
    Closed Accounts Posts: 233 ✭✭MarkHitide


    Happy passive-aggressive marketing day Tesco, Aldi, Supervalu etc............!


  • #27
    Ruudi_Mentari
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Ruudi_Mentari


    Happy Mammy's Day to all the Mothers


  • #28
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    my wife heard the 3 little words all mammies should off me this morning




















    where's my breakfast


  • #29
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    pebbles21 wrote: »
    Mothers day...the most confusing day of the year in Ballym....no wait...

    /gets coat

    mayfield?


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