I'm Starting to look else where

LegacyUser

going anon for this.
With my partner 8 years this year. Things are not good and going really stale. He hasnt slept in the same room as me in over a year. He's totally caught up in his own bubble.
I have gone through a horrible few months health wise and I did really leave myself go ie: put on weight didnt look after my skin hair ect.
Now I feel im getting back on track and if i do say so myself starting to look good. I've been getting some male attention too(nothing seedy) which I Have to say I kinda like.

All OH does is smoke(not fags) and eat and i seem to get the reprecuttions of it the next day.
I dont want to wined and dined money dont matter I just want to be with some one who is proud of me and protect me and make me feel like a red blooded 26 year old woman!

Maybe im just being a hopeless romantic. Im just sad and lonely

CaraMay

Dump him and enjoy yourself single for a while before you start looking.

Weathering

If he smoke(wacky) constantly it's not healthy. You's haven't slept in the same room in over a year that roars volumes.

Personally I think you wanted to leave him since last year but as you said you had let yourself go. Now with some self improvements you feel you can do better. Tad selfish using him as the safety net if true but obviously leave him if you ain't happy. 8years is a long time so make or brake now with no messing about.
Good luck

Merkin

This is obviously a really unhealthy relationship that has wayyyy past its sell-by-date. Sit down for a chat and arrange a break-up between with you which will cause as little fall-out as possible. You need to move on.

mathproblem

Smoking weed constantly is quite unhealthy & often a kind of self medication, like hiding out in a bubble not having to deal with your feelings & hard choices. The separate rooms thing leaps out as a serious rupture, unless there was a health reason why you'se had to keep separate for a while then it is a signal that things are way gone.

If there are no kids in this relationship then you might be better served to just sever things & keep on the path of renewal that you are experiencing since dropping the weight & getting back out there.

It all depends whether you want to give him one last chance by letting him know how close you are to ending it & if there is some part of you that wants to rescue some long past spark that you remember as special. Certainly don't just stay in it because it is comfortable & habitual because if things don't change somehow soon you will probably spiral downhill again soon yourself with regards to your weight & your outlook.

illicit007

confusedalready wrote: »

He hasnt slept in the same room as me in over a year.

He what now??

Oh girl...

LegacyUser

It's over gone. He moved out last night. Was no row or nothing we just want different things.
He moved home im staying here. The two of us will continue to pay the mortgage till we decide what to do with the house.
I dont know how to feel its a weird feeling. I know it is for the best though.
I really hope he does get help and quit the weed and get his life back. I've been wearing rose tinted glasses for years I suppose but im not the crutch anymore. I feel a bit guilty I couldnt help him but he doesnt want to change.

Onwards and upwards I suppose

illicit007

Good on ya

It's for the best like you said. You're opening your life up now to find someone whos' going to be much better for you.

mathproblem

Best of luck to you both OP.