GF says her boss/co-workers name while having sex

Countrybug

So my gf and I have been together for 3 going on 4 years. I have always been confident and trusting in her and she hasn't betrayed me that I know of. Anyways I had just got back home from a weekend of camping with friends and she missed me just as much as usual. I got to see her for an hour and a half before she decided to go out for a few drinks with a couple that we are friends with. I said I was beat from the weekend and chose to stay home but I told her if they need a ride cause they are to drunk to let me know and I will pick them up. She texted me a lil while she was out until I finally got a phone call to pick her up. When I got there it was her and her friend and their boss who is much older then both of them. I said hi to them and took her home she wasn't wasted but she was feeling pretty good. So when we got home she was really horny and was putting moves on me so we went to the bedroom. She kept saying I love you so much and let's make a baby together. So we where making love when all of a sudden she says her ohhhh.....her boss's name. I immediately asked her what she said and she said huh what then I said you just said your boss's name and she immediately said that it happened cause she was hanging out with him all night and she mistakenly said his name instead of mine. I said in all the time I have known you, you have not once ever called me someone else's name. I also told her that I would never call her by some other females name while having sex. She said she was sorry but I don't believe her or this situation that she mistakenly said his name. What should I do? Is she getting with him? I don't know what to do.

Esoteric_

She was a bit drunk, and spent most of the night talking to him.

It's not that big a deal that she accidentally said his name. I've done it once, after spending the day hanging out with a friend before seeing my (then) boyfriend. It wasn't an issue because he understood I'd been hanging out with someone else all day so their name was fresh in my mind.

There's absolutely no proof that she's 'getting with him.' The fact that you immediately jump to this conclusion is worrying, OP. Do you trust her that little? I completely understand that you're shaken and worried from her saying somebody's name, but it sounds like a genuine mistake, not like she's off sleeping with the boss.

Countrybug

Esoteric_ wrote: »

She was a bit drunk, and spent most of the night talking to him.

It's not that big a deal that she accidentally said his name. I've done it once, after spending the day hanging out with a friend before seeing my (then) boyfriend. It wasn't an issue because he understood I'd been hanging out with someone else all day so their name was fresh in my mind.

There's absolutely no proof that she's 'getting with him.' The fact that you immediately jump to this conclusion is worrying, OP. Do you trust her that little? I completely understand that you're shaken and worried from her saying somebody's name, but it sounds like a genuine mistake, not like she's off sleeping with the boss.

Thank you so much for the reply every lil piece of advice help.
I haven't said anything about her sleeping with him face to face that's just what's going on in my head and I don't really know what to do or who I could even talk to about it. I love her so much and don't want it to be true at all. But a lil bit of me makes me worry.

Esoteric_

Countrybug wrote: »

Thank you so much for the reply every lil piece of advice help.
I haven't said anything about her sleeping with him face to face that's just what's going on in my head and I don't really know what to do or who I could even talk to about it. I love her so much and don't want it to be true at all. But a lil bit of me makes me worry.

Sounds like you're a wee bit insecure, and tbh I can understand that. I know I'd sure as hell feel the same way if I was dating someone and he said another woman's name in bed.

But the think about insecurities like that is that they aren't rational or logical. You have to force yourself to think about it logically. Has she given you reason to believe she's cheated on you? Has she been cagey with her phone, things like that?

Stupid mistakes like hers do happen, believe me. I know that it hurt my ex boyfriend for a while until he realised I made a genuine, stupid error in saying my friend's name, but that's all it is, a silly error. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you and it doesn't mean she's sleeping with him.

If everything else is normal with your relationship, not changing, no bad signs, I'd do my best to chalk it down to a stupid mistake. Easier said than done, I know, and I do understand how you feel, but it sounds like she just had a stupid moment, rather than it being a case of her cheating.

mathproblem

three years into a relationship is a funny time. They say that's when the brain lovedrug chemicals begin to wear off & people begin to need kids or some other joint investment to hook together the bonds of a relationship.. so that the love can develop into a mature thing than the "only got eyes for you" loveblindness of a new relationship

you probably have to confront her on this but maybe not a direct "are you sleeping with him".. maybe just let her know how much of a dent your trust has taken & ask her how you are gonna overcome that together..

then maybe think together whether it is time to jointly "**** or get off the pot" together. that period where you don't notice other people may be over, love becomes a choice rather than an addiction.. have an honest talk & make a choice one way or another together

fog arty

I would not be overly worried she was in his company and had a few drinks, I would say it was a slip of the tongue

im confused again

That sort of situation would worry me too and cause me a lot of anxiety. Having said that, it's probably just a slip of the tongue and doesn't mean anything. She had spent some time with her boss and perhaps she had something work related on her mind while you were having sex and that's why his name popped out.
Like the poster above said, if everything else in your relationship is good then I wouldn't worry. It's ok to be a little hurt though.

If you do want to say something then I definitely wouldn't confront her head on but would ask something simple like "Why do you think you said your bosses name while we were having sex" and the tone is most important, in a non accusation way!!

Abi

I think it's possible she made that mistake because she spent the evening in his company.

On a side note, I'd approach this 'let's make a baby' issue with her. Unless it is something you can agree on and can financially handle then i would make sure contraception is used.

dannyc31

three years into a relationship is a funny time. They say that's when the brain lovedrug chemicals begin to wear off & people begin to need kids or some other joint investment to hook together the bonds of a relationship

this is true. sure she even said it to you before she slept with you that she loved you and wanted to make a baby. basically her brain chemistry and emotions are all over the shop, basically anything could of happened she could of even said a girls name in bed, who knows what was going on in her head not even she would fully understand it, it may have been a fantasy that popped into her head, who knows. so i wouldnt read too much into it, as others had said she had spent the whole night with him, and so drink + emotions + hormones + phase of the relationship = a little craziness

i would just let it slide, i dont think it means there is anything going on.

Chara1001

I'm totally with Abi on this, i don't think her saying her bosses name is anything other than a slip of the tongue. 'Lets make a baby together' tho... have you spoken about this already? i mean is it on the cards? Or was it out of the blue completely?

I wouldn't worry about the bosses name business:)

mathproblem

Chara1001 wrote: »

I wouldn't worry about the bosses name business:)

maybe somewhere inside, subconsciously she wanted to rouse some passions in you, bring out your competitive side by reminding you there are other men out there

Chara1001

mathproblem wrote: »

maybe somewhere inside, subconsciously she wanted to rouse some passions in you, bring out your competitive side by reminding you there are other men out there

Hmmmm, crafty....

seriously OP, i wouldn't worry about it

AnonoBoy

I think if she was sleeping with her boss she'd be extra careful not to say his name and probably wouldn't call for you to come pick her up when she's in the pub with him.

More than likely just a slip of the tongue.

blatantrereg

Yurgh. I wouldn't be ok with that one. Very uncomfortable. Don't think it indicates insecurity to be freaked out by that at all.

2Mad2BeMad

just being insecure
had my girlfriend call out her exs name while i was having sex with her got me going mad for a day
but i calmed down and apologised because i knew it was an accident
im with her 4 years now

jimmycrackcorm

This situation is so common. It occurs because the mind has been used to being in a situation such as company of someone that it is still in memory.

If it helps to understand, once in the throes of sweet love my OH suddenly asked had I put the bins out.

jantheman91

It's common to utter the words of another person when you are in the process of reaching orgasm with a partner?

Really?

The advice and insights given on here are very disturbing at times. This one just blows my mind.

Taltos

jantheman91 - if you cannot post inline with our charter please don't post here.
RI is a place people come for support and advice - it is not a place for posters to just fire judgements at the OP or the OP's situation.

Thanks
Taltos