How to be more of an alpha male

LegacyUser

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to act more like the average alpha male bloke. I'm 23, most people would say I'm quiet enough at first but sound and funny when they get to know me. My problem is that sometimes I just think that I don't act like a man should. For example I enjoy clubbing and most lads on a night out would focus very much on getting a girl while out but I don't do that. I think like the average bloke in terms of enjoying seeing good looking girls, but my mates seem to have this certain carefree attitude where they try it on with loads of girls on nights out. I just can't bring myself to do that. I'm rarely, if ever "dating" girls like most single lads would. And I haven't slept with anyone since my one and only relationship ended about a year ago. I'm not sure exactly how to change, whether it's just a matter of "growing a pair" or that my personality just isn't like the average bloke and I can't do anything about it?

Roisy7

You sound like a nice guy, a nice genuine person. And many girls would like that!

Don't ever change your fundamental self for any reason. Focus on the things you like about yourself, address the things you would change, but accept yourself as the person you are.

Tbh, if I had the choice between a "funny and sound" bloke and some guy pawing me on the dancefloor, I know who I'd go for!

Blisterman

I don't really think there's such a thing as an "Alpha male", when it comes to human interaction. I think you're mistaking it with confidence with women, which seems to be what you seek.

Getting stressed about it is counterproductive. Guys who are relaxed and comfortable in their own skin tend to be the ones who attract women, so that should be your goal. And try to get over your fear of rejection. If someone's not interested in you, so what? Not everyone has to like you. And remember, they've formed that judgement on a brief conversation. They don't even know you.

Diziet

Why on earth do you want to change? You seem a nice guy, and respectful of women. Most women would wish there were more like you.

DeltaWhite

What Diziet said!!

WHY would you want to change yourself! You sound like most womens dream man. I have sat in rooms with men and I can immediately see the ones that are "alpha males" and they are the biggest turnoffs ever.. they go on like arrogant, pigheaded, chauvinistic fools..

So tell me, why would you want to come across like that to women! It's not attractive let me tell you! Major turn off!

LegacyUser

DeltaWhite wrote: »

What Diziet said!!

WHY would you want to change yourself! You sound like most womens dream man. I have sat in rooms with men and I can immediately see the ones that are "alpha males" and they are the biggest turnoffs ever.. they go on like arrogant, pigheaded, chauvinistic fools..

So tell me, why would you want to come across like that to women! It's not attractive let me tell you! Major turn off!

You may say that, but from my experience it seems these kinda lads that take the carefree/<mod snip>approach are always the ones ending up with girls at the end of the night/day

DeltaWhite

Are you just looking for one night stands or a relationship? One poster mentioned working on your confidence and I would have to agree 100%
There are a lot of girls out there these days who have no standards, self respect or dignity so I wouldn't jump the gun and say your friends happen to get these girls because they are "alpha males" lots of girls are looking for one night stands too they don't necessarily go out and pick an "alpha male" to bring home! I would say nearly all the girls I know would avoid men like that like the plague!

In fairness you can't force yourself to be that way. All you can do is work on your confidence!

meeeeh

AlphaMaleWannabe wrote: »

You may say that, but from my experience it seems these kinda lads that take the carefree/<mod snip>approach are always the ones ending up with girls at the end of the night/day

The quantity does not equal quality. If you want one night stand with someone that you don't even particularly like then fine but if you want a relationship then avoid the alpha male attitude.

Btw alpha male is sometimes just nicer word for an idiot.

Nichelen

Dude! Changes are inevitable.

If you really wanna change as an alpha male, then JFDI.. May be a controlled change for 3months and See how it goes. If it goes good, stay as Alpha man. Else, come back to normal. No harm in trying.. You ain't gonna lose anything..

PS: If you gonna change, Change for yourself not for people. If world disagree on someone, he/she will be tagged as 'Idiot' & 'Crazy'. Best example - Nicolaus Copernicus. So, know yourself on what YOU wanna be

LegacyUser

meeeeh wrote: »

The quantity does not equal quality. If you want one night stand with someone that you don't even particularly like then fine but if you want a relationship then avoid the alpha male attitude.

Btw alpha male is sometimes just nicer word for an idiot.

See that's where I feel weird - like i'm not acting like a usual guy of my age. I never have one night stands and I'm never even dating women and don't really have much of an interest in the former. I've just went from my last relationship a year ago, not had one date since that ended. And my only contact with girls since has been kissing about 10 in total on nights out/holidays

zoobizoo

Have a look at Tallafornia and tell me which of the "Alpha Males" you'd like to be like.

Out of all my male friends, I don't think I know one who would fit into the category of Alpha Male and anyone coming across in that arrogant "I'm the best, look at me" type of way wouldn't get the time of day from the rest of us.

You sound normal like the rest of us ie, the average male. Having a sense of humour goes a lot further than being an arrogant idiot with muscles (although some girls like that, most will tell you that they do no).

TheOldHand

Don't bother. You are who you are and be happy with that. Not being an alpha male is one thing but it would be far worse to be wannabe alpha male.