Best to go about this?

LegacyUser

I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks. She's an amazing girl, really sweet, kind and funny.

But anyway, I can't put my finger on it, but basically I just don't think she's the girl for me, in so far as I don't feel the strong connection I have had with other girls. So I really think the best thing to do is end it.

The thing is, this girl is completely smitten with me. She's only had one boyfriend before, and apparently he f*cked her over, and it took her several years to get to the point that she could trust someone again, and I really don't want to upset her any more than possible. As far as she's concerned, everything's going great. She's been mentioning things she'd like to do in the summer. So this is going to crush her.

So I was wondering if anyone had any advice as to go about this. I've previously invited her around for dinner tonight. I was thinking the best thing to do is to sit her down quietly when she arrives and tell her that i just don't feel it's going to work out, and stick to it regardless of what she says.

But I've absolutely no idea what to say when she asks me why, other than it's just a feeling.

Any thoughts?

Idle Passerby

Just say that you dont see it developing into a relationship.

sffc

Its going to be one awkward dinner :-( . Avoid .Can you meet her earlier, for coffee maybe or even call to hers. Best to tell her clearly, leave no door ajar and leave. Well done for not stringing her along and thinking of her feelings. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

dellas1979

Yeah I wouldnt do this over dinner. It needs to be swift. Like ripping a bandaid off.

You are being honest with her, and despite the nature of the conversation, I think its really nice and a credit to you that youd think of her feelings (rather than other moronic behaviour we read about on here, i.e., man I was seeing gone missing with no explanation, no reply to calls/texts).

Meauldsegosha

Andy3235 wrote: »

I've previously invited her around for dinner tonight. I was thinking the best thing to do is to sit her down quietly when she arrives and tell her that i just don't feel it's going to work out, and stick to it regardless of what she says.

But I've absolutely no idea what to say when she asks me why, other than it's just a feeling.

Any thoughts?

Don't let her go to your place and then finish things. That's a really horrible thing to do. You've only been dating a few weeks so be honest and tell her you don't see it developing further.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice everyone.

She came around, and I just told her straight up as soon as she arrived, that I thought we should stop seeing each other, because I didn't think we had a strong connection.

And her reaction surprised me. She took it really well, looked a little dissapointed, but otherwise fine. She said she knew I was feeling that way, from how I acted last time, and that she was grateful for the honesty.

So she just left anyway, and that was that. Nice and clean. Couldn't have worked out better.

B.A._Baracus

Op, you are between a rock and a hard place in how to handle this situation. Just do the right thing and break up with her as soon as possible.

As for each day that passes you are just stringing her along.