I think I have a mental illness

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm now 20, since I was about 17 I have had a lot of depression, but I never went to see anyone about it.

I eventually came to my own conclusion that I had bipolar disorder. I have all of the symptoms of it. I get very depressed for a few weeks for no reason what so ever. I also have what seems like mania episodes where I don't sleep much, I'm really hyper, think I'm the best thing since oxegen. I do stupid things like spend every penny I have and quit my hub (3 times in the past 2 years). But I feel great.

When I'm depressed its just really bad. I feel worthless, hopeless and just empty. I can't bring myself to get dressed and go out for weeks. I stay in a dark bedroom and do nothing. I don't go to college or work. It's affecting my grades. I know that my job makes it a lot worse but I can't afford to leave my job (I'm not entitled to any social welfare as a student and my parents can't afford to help)

I almost always get depression right after I have that hyper feeling.

This made me believe that I was bipolar. I have a cousin who is. But the rest of my 'symptoms' aren't the same as her. My mood can change in the blink of an eye. I can get really angry for about an hour for no reason at all, it happens and disappears in the blink of an eye. It's not that common but it just happens. I can feel really sad/angry/happy/ any other feeling. Then I can change for no reason and then go back to normal suddenly for no reason.

I feel as though if I could stop working then I would be much better but as I said that's not possible.

I made an appointment with a psychiatrist for next week, but I'm terrified if being diagnosed bipolar (even though I don't think that's what it is anymore). And I get the feeling she is going to tell me I need to quit my job, but I can't.

Ickle Magoo

Just a reminder that as per forum rules, no internet diagnosing or medical advice.

blatantrereg

If your job is effecting you to the extent you're worried you'll become non-functional, then looking at alternative options is a good idea. A student loan might be one alternative.

It's not a good idea to take on more than you feel you can handle, unless for important reasons, and preferably for short, defined periods of time. Hare and tortoise etc.

DylanII

Every person with bipolar disorder is different. So don't rule it out.

It's good that your going to see a psychiatrist. Did your doctor or a psychologist refeer you? Your psychiatrist should be able to help you figure out what's going on.

If you are diagnoised with something and they think that working really is making things worse then you might be entitled to dissability benefit. You can still get that while in college. You might think that you don't just want to give up and go on that but think of it as a short term (few years) while you finish college and find out what you really want to do and sort your illness out.

IrishEyes19

Hi, OP. I know you must be very worried, but you are on the right track. Speaking in your appointment next week is the first step. If it is the worst, its not the end. There are ways now to control and treat this, so you can lead an almost normal life. you will be fine. But its important to address the issue, you will feel worse in not doing so. Best of luck

blatantrereg

You have sfa chance of getting a disability benefit claim approved at the moment; especially if you aren't entitled to anything without it. Doesn't matter how valid the claim is, or if you have letters from doctors/psychiatrists. You'd need to be visibly severely disabled to consider this a realistic option I'm afraid.

sam34

blatantrereg wrote: »

You have sfa chance of getting a disability benefit claim approved at the moment; especially if you aren't entitled to anything without it. Doesn't matter how valid the claim is, or if you have letters from doctors/psychiatrists. You'd need to be visibly severely disabled to consider this a realistic option I'm afraid.

not true. a good number of my patients have been approved in the last year, and similarly a few have been up for renewal/review/appeal and had it approved.

December2012

Good luck with your psychiatrists appointment. It's a great step for you to take.

Czarcasm

OP with the greatest of respect but you shouldn't be trying to diagnose yourself with anything.

There are vast differences and there are subtle differences between the multitude of mental disorders on the psychological spectrum and only a qualified expert will be able to tell you the difference or form a proper diagnosis.

Your own observations could be way off so you're best to wait until you see an expert. A psychiatrist will be able to tell you the best course of action to take, and this doesn't by any means automatically include quitting your job, more likely that they will give you the tools to help you cope and be able to do your job better!


Try not to worry so much OP and wait to see what your psychiatrist says rather than writing yourself off based merely on your own unqualified observations.

blatantrereg

sam34 wrote: »

not true. a good number of my patients have been approved in the last year, and similarly a few have been up for renewal/review/appeal and had it approved.

Glad to hear it. The opposite is true for people I know. It probably comes down to the particular local authority.

Scruffles

self diagnosis is harmful.
bipolar is not the ultra mood change fest that people think,the bipolar moods are far far longer in length.
there are conditions such as borderline personality disorder which are actualy asociated with constant mood changing like that;its up to the pysch to assess as humans need an outside view of themselves to diagnose properly,
am sure pyschologists have to go to each other as well and are not allowed to officialy diagnose themselves.

sam34 wrote: »

not true. a good number of my patients have been approved in the last year, and similarly a few have been up for renewal/review/appeal and had it approved.

QFT.
what is the reasoning behind telling what coud be quite vulnerable people scare stories about disability benefits?
if they get refused,then they can get past that if or when they came to it,theres various charities that can support a person who needs help with their benefits.
but it really doesnt help to have more anxiety and stress put on them by people using opinion as fact.


two twenty year old cousins of mine from tallaght have always been on disability benefit and with every medical/reapply they have never had it refused-one of them has mild intelectual disability and the other has high functioning classic autism-they dont act in any stereotypical manner in public nor do they physical signs of disability.

blatantrereg

Scruffles wrote: »

self diagnosis is harmful.
bipolar is not the ultra mood change fest that people think,the bipolar moods are far far longer in length.
there are conditions such as borderline personality disorder which are actualy asociated with constant mood changing like that;its up to the pysch to assess as humans need an outside view of themselves to diagnose properly,
am sure pyschologists have to go to each other as well and are not allowed to officialy diagnose themselves.



QFT.
what is the reasoning behind telling what coud be quite vulnerable people scare stories about disability benefits?
if they get refused,then they can get past that if or when they came to it,theres various charities that can support a person who needs help with their benefits.
but it really doesnt help to have more anxiety and stress put on them by people using opinion as fact.


two twenty year old cousins of mine from tallaght have always been on disability benefit and with every medical/reapply they have never had it refused-one of them has mild intelectual disability and the other has high functioning classic autism-they dont act in any stereotypical manner in public nor do they physical signs of disability.

So they can get a clearer view of their options. If they get certification indicating they are suitable for disability benefit from doctor they might plan around it. However this does not necessarily equate to them getting disability benefit awarded, so they might commit to a plan that is not feasible if not given information I provided.

You have evidence that reasonable claims may be approved. I have evidence that they may not be approved. It comes down to the different local authorities as well as to the individuals in those authorities. Neither is opinion. My original conclusion is apparently incorrect, but when presented with contradictory evidence I changed my conclusion. It was not scaremongering. It's useful for OP to hear different experiences. They can conclude that they might be approved for it, but should not take it as given until it's officially cleared: That might be useful information.

The differences in experiences is true with other payments too. I was working two part time jobs last year for a period, but only short hours in both, and was entitled to partial JSA payments from the start of October. I was required to get far more documentation than other doing the same work. Then the claim was calculated incorrectly by the local authority. I showed them their error but they dismissed me. They also dated their response incorrectly to make appeal submission necessary on Xmas Eve to avoid deadline. I did appeal to the main office and it was approved finally two months later. Only received payment last month (5 months after it was due; no notification; just received a cheque in the post. It was very clear and easy to show their error, so no further contact with me was needed to assess it also.) Other people in same office dealing with different staff had no significant issues like that. Just comes down to the particular person who deals with the claim.