If you were Matt Talbot. . .

joseph brand

What would you do? Obviously times are different.

I suppose I would smash my pc and smartphone but still pay the bills (internet and calls). When I'm not feeling so pious I might just knock a jar of pasta sauce onto the carpet and clean that for an hour. Can't get much closer to god than being in that misery.

Custardpi

In his place today I would broaden my reading material beyond the Bible & pamphlets by deranged, sexually frustrated clergy & thus learn that there was no rational basis for any of my beliefs. Accordingly I would consult professional psychiatric help for my delusions, possibly checking myself into a secure facility.

Busted Flat.

If I was Matt, I would forget about the chains, go back on the gargle, and forget about the guys in the gowns and the red shoes. They were living it up with buggering, drinking and doing whatever they liked, while telling you were a sinner.
They are still doing it.

Undergod

I'd sell the place and downsize to something a bit more managable. I know the property market isn't great, but a good spot of land like that on Sean McDermott St should still be worth a few bob.

joseph brand

All good answers, but too sensible. You have to do something that goes against what is normal behaviour.

Here's another one:

I would turn the televison around to face the wall and watch tv like that for a week. I could hear what's going on, but I wouldn't be able see anything, cos 'I don't deserve it'. I might even do this wearing wet socks in a draught.

Undergod

Oh I get the game now.

I'd brush my teeth before every meal, and especially before my breakfast orange juice.

joseph brand

Another thing, I'd probably file down a leg on each of my kitchen chairs, so that I couldn't escape the wobbly chair. Same goes for the table.

Just because I'm not worthy and god loves misery.

jank

I would do something more productive with my Friday night.

robindch

^^^ Ironic post of the week.

Lucy8080

^^^^^^

I'd refuse to acknowledge time-zones so i could suffer ridicule for my sins.:P

Bannasidhe

^^^^^^

I would learn off all the zones so that I would be able to recite the time difference between any city in the world and Ireland and then explain what these times difference mean.

I have started with Sydney which is + 11 hours.

This means that 01:50 on a Saturday morning in Ireland is 12:50 on a Saturday afternoon in Sydney.

Lucy8080

friday night/sat morn...that's understandable on janks part.

jank sitting at the computer fri nite/sat morn, complaining about others wasting it, would be ironic.

I think rob meant the second... i may be wrong....i also think he'd hold his hands up to a genuine mistake .

I was a hairs breadth from thanking robs post myself.


If he's guilty ....we can think up Mattt Talbot like punishments for him!

If not...i guess im in the chair.

Zombrex

Didn't know about Matt Talbot until now (is Talbot Street named after him?)

Wish I hadn't looked up "mortification of the flesh". I mean seriously, wtf is wrong with Christians ...

Lucy8080

not sure 'bout talbot street ....but the Matt Talbot bridge over the Liffey is named for him.

just thought of a joke...


If i was m.t. ...i'd build a bridge and......

PopePalpatine

Zombrex wrote: »

Didn't know about Matt Talbot until now (is Talbot Street named after him?)

Wish I hadn't looked up "mortification of the flesh". I mean seriously, wtf is wrong with Christians ...

And yet people are stunned when they hear of Muslims whipping themselves.

Lucy8080

Actually ,Zombrexs post about looking up this guy reminded me of learning about him during my schooldays.


To use the vernacular, I got the impression he was acting bollocks....realised he was acting bolllocks...and then punished himself for it.

The guy seemed to have come to his senses...but couldn't forgive himself for what went before.


And so jumped to the other side of the coin to absolve himself..

Hurt others /hurt urself.


neither works.


I'll look him up on google tomorrow . I'm drawing from memory here.

chughes

We all know, as atheists or agnostics, the self flagellation is a sign of insanity but we must be understanding and accept that everyone deserves a fair crack of the whip.

Hotblack Desiato

Lucy8080 wrote: »

yank sitting at the computer fri nite/sat morn, complaining about others wasting it, would be ironic.

If it wasn't for Yanks and their 'generous' illegal political donations to the dear old sod, we'd be knee-deep in abortions right now. So thank you you plastic Paddy f**kwits who never set foot in this country and never will but still think you need to tell us how we should run things. If it wasn't for Youth Defence you'd still be funding the IRA.

Lucy8080

I see what happened there ninja!


I read jank as "yank".....sorry " jank".


pronunciation invaded my spelling.


I think most folks knew i meant "jank".

maybe i was janking someone's chain...:p....

Bannasidhe

Lucy8080 wrote: »

friday night/sat morn...that's understandable on janks part.

jank sitting at the computer fri nite/sat morn, complaining about others wasting it, would be ironic.

I think rob meant the second... i may be wrong....i also think he'd hold his hands up to a genuine mistake .

I was a hairs breadth from thanking robs post myself.


If he's guilty ....we can think up Mattt Talbot like punishments for him!

If not...i guess im in the chair.

I read that as Jank trying to be clever about what people were doing in Ireland on a Friday night but forgot about time zones - that being the irony ronbinch was commenting on.

PopePalpatine

chughes wrote: »

We all know, as atheists or agnostics, the self flagellation is a sign of insanity but we must be understanding and accept that everyone deserves a fair crack of the whip.

Sounds kinky. :pac:

Dades

Bannasidhe wrote: »

I read that as Jank trying to be clever about what people were doing in Ireland on a Friday night but forgot about time zones - that being the irony ronbinch was commenting on.

It was Friday night, no (or early Saturday for the pedants)?

I also had not heard Mat Talbot's story. If he the fecker who had millions of us breaking pledges every time we snuck a few tinnies in before we hit 18?

Delirium

I thought it was this character from the Hulk movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSGXERUKBj4

Bannasidhe

Dades wrote: »

It was Friday night, no (or early Saturday for the pedants)?

I also had not heard Mat Talbot's story. If he the fecker who had millions of us breaking pledges every time we snuck a few tinnies in before we hit 18?

Given we are wall to wall with pedants in these here parts I think we can all agree that as it was one hour and fifty minutes into Saturday morning, it was no longer Friday evening.

In Jank's case it was Saturday afternoon - lunchtime in fact-, in early autumn, in Sydney...when, apparently, he had nothing better to do than post on a forum sited around 10,000 miles away just to have a dig at people whom he felt had nothing better to do ...
Pretty ironic No?

sbsquarepants

Lucy8080 wrote: »

The guy seemed to have come to his senses..

I'd heard the name before and knew he was something to do with alcos but i didn't really know his story. I've just googled him there and whatever he came to it certainly wasn't his senses. It's just typical addict behaviour of swapping one addiction for another and fooling themselves into thinking they're cured.
Looking at his story, starvation, wearing tight chains around his body, sleeping on a plank - he'd have been better off on the scoops.
Mother theresa would have loved this fúckwit!

maximoose

Not one Father Ted reference yet, what is happening to boards?

Sarky

Maybe it's finally getting tired of Father Ted? It's become far more documentary than comedy lately.

PopePalpatine

^ That would be an ecumenical matter. :pac:

jank

robindch wrote: »

^^^ Ironic post of the week.

You Friday night, me Saturday morning. I know you knew that but who can resist a childish dig eh? Carry on:rolleyes:

Sarky

Who indeed.

Lucy8080

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Given we are wall to wall with pedants in these here parts I think we can all agree that as it was one hour and fifty minutes into Saturday morning, it was no longer Friday evening.

In Jank's case it was Saturday afternoon - lunchtime in fact-, in early autumn, in Sydney...when, apparently, he had nothing better to do than post on a forum sited around 10,000 miles away just to have a dig at people whom he felt had nothing better to do ...
Pretty ironic No?

Early start for me. late for others , I suppose.

I would suggest that there is no irony in yank posting on a Saturday afternoon ,complaining 'bout folks wasting a Friday night/sat morn.

In fact...if ya have a Saturday off...shooting the breeze in the afternoon ....is quite understandable.

Maybe yank had his brekkie, lunch...and was killing time 'til he tore up sidney on his Sat night/sun morn.

Thats one excuse for yank.

I can think of many...and not a one of 'em makes his post ironic.

I find irony in the amount of folks that thanked robs post....and scream abuse at religion.

Now...that's ironic...imo.

Lucy8080

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'd heard the name before and knew he was something to do with alcos but i didn't really know his story. I've just googled him there and whatever he came to it certainly wasn't his senses. It's just typical addict behaviour of swapping one addiction for another and fooling themselves into thinking they're cured.
Looking at his story, starvation, wearing tight chains around his body, sleeping on a plank - he'd have been better off on the scoops.
Mother theresa would have loved this fúckwit!

Well ya kinda clipped my post there.

His story may be a bit deeper than "****wit".

Beruthiel

chughes wrote: »

We all know, as atheists or agnostics, the self flagellation is a sign of insanity.

Or, maybe MT was so ugly that he had to do an S&M DIY jobie due to being unable to find a partner.
Maybe self flag was code for the S&M club the RCC was running.


If I were MT I'd open a bottle of Chateau Margaux 1982, set it on the table in front of me and let it turn to vinegar while I drank water.

Beruthiel

Beruthiel wrote: »

If I were MT I'd open a bottle of Chateau Margaux 1982, set it on the table in front of me and let it turn to vinegar while I drank water.

Who am I kidding?
I wouldn't last 0.01 seconds if a bottle like that was set in front of me!!

PopePalpatine

I'd force myself to watch Deception on TV3. :pac:

LittleBook

Beruthiel wrote: »

If I were MT I'd open a bottle of Chateau Margaux 1982, set it on the table in front of me and let it turn to vinegar while I drank water.

Too far Beruthiel, too far

Sarky

Surely if Bru were Matt Talbot she'd drink Blue Nun all the time?

Bannasidhe

Sarky wrote: »

Surely if Bru were Matt Talbot she'd drink Blue Nun all the time?

so many possible risque jokes but I am Matt Talbot so shall not make them.

jank

Sarky wrote: »

Who indeed.

Well if that's the leadership shown by a mod of this forum then it speaks volumes about that person.

On a side note, I had no clue who Matt Talbot is or was until this thread. Reformed alco who found god, riveting Friday night conversation alright.

Hotblack Desiato

You're not obliged to read this thread, never mind post in it Jank, if it's not up to your high standards.

Sarky

But... he couldn't whine in them then!

joseph brand

jank wrote: »

Well if that's the leadership shown by a mod of this forum then it speaks volumes about that person.

On a side note, I had no clue who Matt Talbot is or was until this thread. Reformed alco who found god, riveting Friday night conversation alright.

No problem.


Although, he's realistically a fruitbar, the church considered him saintly.

Bannasidhe

jank wrote: »

Well if that's the leadership shown by a mod of this forum then it speaks volumes about that person.

On a side note, I had no clue who Matt Talbot is or was until this thread. Reformed alco who found god, riveting Friday night conversation alright.

Sarky is a mod of this forum???

Dispute Resolution is going to be gridlocked! :cool:

Sarky

I never get posters complaining about me in there.

Well, not since ISAW.

<grin>