Another Civil Ceremony Question

Realtine

Sorry but another question
but so far this forum has been very helpful...

So I rang the registrar office last week and they were very helpful, when the lady asked me if I was having a registrar or a solemniser I said registrar -
as not very religious, but today while looking online for a template for order of service I came across the spiritualist site and really liked what they offered.

Our 'appointment' is with the registrar office is not till October - but Im wondering if our date is booked already with them as she told me the time of my ceremony is 3.30 on our chosen wedding day.
Can I change my mind and book solomniser instead? Do I have to let the HSE office know? OR can I wait till the date in October to to this?
thanks again for any replies.

Another question - If we use a solemnist does than mean we have to get married twice? It's legal and binding this way right?

tinkerbell

Ring up the HSE to confirm if they booked you in for your wedding day at 3pm. If you decide not to get married by the HSE, let them know. Are you talking about Tom Colton, the spiritualist? If so, he can legally marry you, you do not need to get married by the HSE also.

Peregrinus

But you would be well advised to get him lined up before you cancel your appointment with the registrar!

tatli_lokma

And also, if you do have your solemniser lined up, it is only fair that you let the HSE know as soon as possible so that another couple can take the available slot you no longer need.

Realtine

Thanks folks - done and done!

pooch90

Who did you end up going with OP?
I'm currently trying to choose who to go with.
Options are: Bishop Pat Buckley, Humanists (who assure me they will have legal status by next summer) or the Spiritualists.
Any advice??

King Krib

pooch90 wrote: »

Who did you end up going with OP?
I'm currently trying to choose who to go with.
Options are: Bishop Pat Buckley, Humanists (who assure me they will have legal status by next summer) or the Spiritualists.
Any advice??

Tom Colton is marrying us in a few weeks. Look him up, he comes highly recommended. (Spiritualist)

tatli_lokma

just be aware, Tom Colton is a spiritualist but his 'denomination' I suppose you would call it, is as a spiritualist medium. That is not for everyone. And there is a god element. AFAIK he is prepared to make changes to suit your needs, but whilst he gets good reviews he also is not for everyone and some people are not keen on his form of spiritualism.

If you want a totally unreligious ceremony you need to go the route of a registrar or a humanist as humanists are atheistic.

King Krib

Little Ted wrote: »

just be aware, Tom Colton is a spiritualist but his 'denomination' I suppose you would call it, is as a spiritualist medium. That is not for everyone. And there is a god element. AFAIK he is prepared to make changes to suit your needs, but whilst he gets good reviews he also is not for everyone and some people are not keen on his form of spiritualism.

If you want a totally unreligious ceremony you need to go the route of a registrar or a humanist as humanists are atheistic.

As far as the ceremony goes with Tom Colton It's basically a blank canvas to create as you please. After the legal bits and pieces are carried It's up to the couple. There doesn't have to be a spiritual aspect to it all. I know there definitely isn't for us anyway.

tatli_lokma

Yeah I know he will tailor the ceremony to your needs, but some people just have a personal preference not to have a spiritualist medium perform their ceremony - much in the same way as others wouldn't have a priest even if all the priest did was the legal bit with no religious bits. I just wanted to make people aware that whilst Tom and others are prepared to tailor your ceremony they are still at heart spiritualist mediums and that is not for everyone. I know it wouldn't be for me. If I were going down the solemniser route and didn't want a registrar I would choose a humanist celebrant for that reason.

pooch90

Yeah I knew that about Tom. Not too bothered I don't think.
The Humanists have Joan Burton pushing for them, so I'd have more of an issue with that!

Realtine

pooch90 wrote: »

Who did you end up going with OP?
I'm currently trying to choose who to go with.
Options are: Bishop Pat Buckley, Humanists (who assure me they will have legal status by next summer) or the Spiritualists.
Any advice??

With Tom Colton's spiritualists - I just loved the way we could practically write the ceremony, within reason! I agree it's prob not for everyone but when I read through their website I knew instantly it was for us (me). So really looking forward now to getting down to the nitty gritty of what we actually want in the ceremony.

King Krib

Realtine wrote: »

With Tom Colton's spiritualists - I just loved the way we could practically write the ceremony, within reason! I agree it's prob not for everyone but when I read through their website I knew instantly it was for us (me). So really looking forward now to getting down to the nitty gritty of what we actually want in the ceremony.

Welcome to the club!!!"

maloney_liz

Realtine - just wondering where you have having Tom conduct the ceremony? I have booked and put a deposit down in a hotel for my reception - but don't fancy having my ceremony there. I live in Carlow and reception is in Newbridge and can't find anywhere that I can have a ceremony only....

Realtine

maloney_liz wrote: »

Realtine - just wondering where you have having Tom conduct the ceremony? I have booked and put a deposit down in a hotel for my reception - but don't fancy having my ceremony there. I live in Carlow and reception is in Newbridge and can't find anywhere that I can have a ceremony only....

yea we are having our ceremony in the hotel, we're happy to do that so it's fine for us. Have you tried somewhere like Naas town hall or the registry office itself? Seems difficult enough alright, to find a place that will host a ceremony only without having the reception in the same place.:(