Confused about a guy

CheekyChappy

I met this guy on pof (plenty of fish) but I was meant to meet up with him a couple of weeks back but he never showed up and we lost contact. He messaged me again today and wants to meet up but I don't know whether he's taking the piss or not and just messing me about.

It's so confusing

HELP!!!

floggg

Ask him flat out what happened last time, and see what he says. Unless he's particularly apologetic I wouldn't bother nif he doesn't feel bad about standing you up, he's probably not worth the effort.

CheekyChappy

He told me he got scared the last time and he did say he was sorry a few times but it's hard to know if they're genuine by a text.

Annasopra

I think give it a go again and see what happens

1ZRed

Stood you up and never gave an explanation as to why at the time? I wouldn't waste my time. Sounds like a time waster to me tbh.

will.i.am

He might just be nervous or shy about being gay or he might have seen someone he knew and got scared. I'd give him another chance to be honest and see how things go.

Peregrinus

All relationships are risky - they involve exposing yourself to rejection or manipulation or just being jerked around.

It's up to you to decide whether you're sufficiently interested in this bloke to expose yourself to the risk. But, if it were me, and my concern was that I might be stood up (again!) I think I'd be inclined to run the risk. If it does happen again, well, you'll get over it. And if he does turn up, who knows what it could be the start of?

But, I agree, I'd be happier about running the risk if he acknowledged that he had stood me up, and understood that he needed to explain/apologise, and seemed concerned to do that.

floggg

I'd be inclined to give it a go, but is say to him that you don't want to be lead on so only arrange to meet you if he's sure he'll go through with it.

I can empathise with him, as I was that way myself and chickened out of meeting people enough times (never actually stood anybody up).

Obviously if it happens twice though you should be done with him!

CheekyChappy

Well I met up with him today and had a good time. He told me he never met me the last time because he was sick. But anyway he rang me tonight and sounded drunk, he wanted to know when we could meet again. A few weeks ago he rang me and he sounded drunk again. I'm not a boring guy by any means but I just don't want to go out with someone that's always drinking or that does drugs. I don't know I'm so confused

oisindoyle

CheekyChappy wrote: »

Well I met up with him today and had a good time. He told me he never met me the last time because he was sick. But anyway he rang me tonight and sounded drunk, he wanted to know when we could meet again. A few weeks ago he rang me and he sounded drunk again. I'm not a boring guy by any means but I just don't want to go out with someone that's always drinking or that does drugs. I don't know I'm so confused

When we meet someone for the first couple of times,we usually over analise things,as you are doing now.
Maybe he was drunk when he phoned you,maybe he had to have a few drinks to ring up i.e. dutch courage who knows!
But I think you should re read your first line of the above "Well I met up with him today and had a good time"and go with that.
Give the guy and you a few more dates to get to know each other ,only then can you make a proper decision as to whether you want your friendship/relationship to continue.

CheekyChappy

You're right. That seems like a good idea

akaspike

Cut to 2.42

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiSOMp9GN_o

CheekyChappy

I was going to take a chance but it looks like this guy has a boyfriend already. He met up with me today gave me a rose and a teddy bear (morto) but I think he has a boyfriend. Why do people feel the need to treat others like ****, I was starting to like him and all. Feel like crap now

floggg

CheekyChappy wrote: »

I was going to take a chance but it looks like this guy has a boyfriend already. He met up with me today gave me a rose and a teddy bear (morto) but I think he has a boyfriend. Why do people feel the need to treat others like ****, I was starting to like him and all. Feel like crap now

Why do you think he has a bf?

Have you asked him?

CheekyChappy

Some stuff I saw on his fb page, but I think I've got my wires crossed

oisindoyle

CheekyChappy wrote: »

Some stuff I saw on his fb page, but I think I've got my wires crossed

So what is it then .Have you got your wires crossed or has he a BF.
I very much doubt a person would turn up give you a teddy bear and a rose ,phoned you numerous times to meet up and now you think he has a BF??
You need to relax,stop analiseing and enjoy each others company.

CheekyChappy

I know, my ex ****ed me up and I find it hard to trust

oisindoyle

CheekyChappy wrote: »

I know, my ex ****ed me up and I find it hard to trust

Well for you to move on, you HAVE to start trusting others.You cannot compare this guy (and all other guys) to your ex.
Your ex is an ex for a reason he's in the past.
This new guys seems to like you a lot ,but it seems it is you who has the problem/issues.

CheekyChappy

I know I do and I am trying. I just hope that this goes somewhere with this guy because I really like him.

oisindoyle

CheekyChappy wrote: »

I know I do and I am trying. I just hope that this goes somewhere with this guy because I really like him.

Well then give it a chance ,have fun ,enjoy each others company and leave the past ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,in the past .