Problem with younger brother

LegacyUser

Hi,
My father started a business almost 30 years ago and its grown to become fairly successful. It currently employs 50 people and even in these times its still growing. Im the eldest son and even as a young child, prehaps 12 or 13 I worked there on all my weekends, days off school and all through the summer holidays. I then decided that when I finsihed school Id go to college to study in the field and to become qualified (which my Dad never managed, although he would be considered an expert). When I completed my qualifications, I worked in Europe and then went to Australia to get some outside the family business experience.

When I came home my dad asked me to work for the company, but on night shifts and to supervise for him, which I did for almost 3 years. When I met my current wife and we bought our first home I moved onto days and slowly started taking on more and more responsibility to the point that my Dad started to refer to the owners as 3 people (himself, my mother and me although I was never given shares).

As 2008 and recession became more apparent, I recognised that I didnt have the natural business acumen of my father so I started on a number of courses which as I progressed through gave me more confidence to see what I could achieve on an acedemic front. To date Ive complted a diploma, a degree in business and next September Im starting an MBA, all of which I hope will help me run the business as well if not better than my father did. In total Iv spent almost 20 years of my life in the company and in recent years, due to my growing business mind the company has seen a 200% increase in TO and a 6 digit increase in net profits. I work about 70 hrs per week and sometimes go to work twice a day (its a 24hr operation) to touch base with the night crews.

My problem is that I have a younger brother in his mid 20's who has been spoilt all his life. He dropped out of school in 4th year, spent most of his late teenage years stoned, has been before the courts on drugs charges and disorderly conduct and has never really worked a day in his life. My dad started him in the company last year as a way to try and get him started in a real working enviroment, the role he started out on had out of the plant for most of the time, but that job has since finished andhe now has a job working in the plant. But as I get to see him now every day, I see that he just lazes around the place, goes off every 15mins for a smoke, wont work more than 8hrs and has a pretty rotten attitude towards the other people in the business.

The other day I asked him to change his working hours from a 6am start to a 9am start and he basically told me to f*ck off Im not his boss. Now, Im the most senior manager in the business and in 99% of the time what I ask for is done so this reaction didnt go down well with me and a massive bust up ensued...to the point where he told me he was going to stab me!!!

How do I handle this? I have also just found out from another employee that my brother is going around telling people that he going to get 20% of the company and his plan is to sell it back to me...
How should I appraoch this with my parents? He is the youngest and he has always been spoilt and defended by my mother.

CaraMay

Why didn't you let his line manager deal with his changing schedule.

How do you tell your parents? You have a family meeting with him there and lay it all on the table.

The banks are very slow to lend to second generation, silver spoon kids and he is the perfect example of why.

DazMarz

Real Prodigal Son vibe to the whole thing. And I deeply sympathise with your position.

The person to talk to is your father, and get him to get this waster to toe-the-line. Get him informed that you, whether he likes it or not, are his boss for all intents and purposes and he must do what you say, or else he can fúck off and try to find a job somewhere else (highly unlikely as he appears to be a good for nothing with no qualifications or prospects; he'd better practice up the line "Would you like fries with that?")

Grossly unfair for him to be handed a job in a company for no other reason than his daddy owns it. Your father must have the patience of a saint for putting up with his nonsense for the years he's been at it.

Your father (who I'm guessing is still the owner, operator and boss-man) is the one to solve this and he can do it. No question.

LegacyUser

Thats a good point Caramay! I had my assisstant ask him to make sure he fills in certain paperwork when goods go out and she came back into me complaining he was such a jerk...that his response was "when did you become my boss".
My parents are in the business next week and Im gonna bring up the issue...but what Im afraid of is if it causes family disharmoney.

I have another brother who is older than the one Im talking about and reckons its a generational thing...that there is a big difference between 90's kids and 2000's kids.

movingsucks

Its already causing family disharmony and I agree with your other brother.
I have 00s kid sibling and while they're lovely there's a huge difference in their outlook on life and ours.
You're parents know this chap is a problem, but the thing is they feel they failed him so are reluctant to take action or offence.
If he's the very youngest of all of you then he probably was spoiled and your mum still feels he's her baby.
Children don't spoil themselves so any criticism of him can be received as a criticism of tour parents, so tread carefully in what you say. The guy is a screw up, the parents are worried for his future so they keep him close, he wouldn't last five minutes on his on in the real world.
If he gets 20% , offer him a euro for it. If not he'll have to sell it to someone else and you might get someone competent. He clearly has no interest being there.
Maybe have a talk with your father about legalities. If something did happen tomorrow, are you a partner or what, you could say you need the info for insurance reasons or something.
How is your relationship with your brother outside of this, is there anyway you could steer him in the right direction (away from you...haha) Career wise?

ManOfMystery

Your brother appears to forget that when he is in work, he is in a professional environment - not sitting at home with you and rest of his family and objecting to being told to clear his plate or whatever. He CAN'T react badly to being told what to do at work; this is damaging not just to the business, but also to the workforce around him who observe the situation. It undermines authority and creates disharmony amongst a workforce, which is the last thing you need in a business which seems to be succeeding against all expectations, given the current economy.

When he's at work, his surname is irrelevant. He must fall in line just like everyone else.

Honestly, I know it's harsh, but I'd get him out of there and tell him to get a job somewhere else. If he doesn't have much interest in working hard at the family business and going above & beyond to make it a success (as you have done), ............................ then why try and force him into that position? It doesn't sound like he will ever be as emotionally invested in the business as you are. He simply doesn't seem to have the interest or motivation and just wants an easy ride through life. I don't know if it's drug-related (a 'stoner' mindset) or just the way he is, but either way it's not good for the business OR his long term career prospects if he continues down this path.

StillWaters

danthevanman wrote: »

Thats a good point Caramay! I had my assisstant ask him to make sure he fills in certain paperwork when goods go out and she came back into me complaining he was such a jerk...that his response was "when did you become my boss".
My parents are in the business next week and Im gonna bring up the issue...but what Im afraid of is if it causes family disharmony.

Well, when did you become his boss? There seems to be inaction here on your fathers side. You need to clarify and formalise your position there, as well as the whole 20% issue which needs to be thrashed out.

This is for your parents to sort.

kjl

The bit about the 20% made me laugh, typical crap that comes out of the mouth of someone who has nothing going for them.

I know a lot about these trust fund babies and to be honest I have no time for them either. If it was me in your situation I would take your bother aside and tell him to cop him self on. Tell him that when you are at work you ARE his boss and he doesn't respect that you will make sure he doesn't work there anymore.

If he still carries on with this crap, build up a case and present it to your father. I would strongly mention the fact that other employees has been letting you know of issues. Plus definitely mention the 20% malarkey.

thefeatheredcat

I'd be in agreement that it is up to your parents as the owners to sort this out; this is both a problematic employee which is not your direct responsibility (but is being dumped on you by his manager because you're family so it's convenient for you to deal with; actually this should be picked up on his manager passing the buck too, because part of management of people is dealing with difficult employees, if I were the owner I'd have concern that someone who has responsibility for them doesn't want to deal with them or learn how to handle difficult employees/colleagues and find out what the issue is why they passed the buck) and a family issue re concern over your brother generally. Sounds like he hit out in frustration ? Maybe there's underlying issues there that he's harbouring anything from you having the motivation to better yourself and getting an earned position in the company and him not having the motivation at all, because he might feel there's no support for him, while there is for you?

I'd be in agreement too that perhaps maybe that job isn't the right place for him, he sounds incredibly de-motivated and uninterested in the job, even if it was given to him out of worry for him and his future, but has anyone asked him what he wants? He could well know himself that he is responsible for his own life, may feel like nobody would support him or give him the chance, so why bother bettering himself in a job that's handed to him? He probably is much more capable of working better and has potential in having a better life for himself with a push, but at the same time he might need to come to that same conclusion himself but might be too afraid to ask for help. From what you described his life has been going nowhere for a long time and rather than him directly confronting that himself or being put in a position of being nudged that way he's being enabled to be the way he is.

Even so, his behaviour and getting away with it will do general morale no good, because other workers who do put in the effort might not see the point or hold resentment towards him because he's the boss' son and never gets the appropriate disciplinary action that any other employee under the same circumstaces would receive. I don't know if that's the case generally but certainly in this circumstance he's not being pulled up on his lack of work or attitude and that needs to be addressed as a disciplinary issue or I'm sure other staff would just see favouritism.

I think as a family you might want to sit and talk about this stuff, on both counts re him and re the business and your roles in it. I think perhaps if his general attitude to management/senior staff is negative, the owners need to get a grip on this and have a meeting with them too. Ultimately all decisions are for your parents to make, just don't get yourself caught in the middle taking sides.

LegacyUser

You need to have a serious talk with your father and mother about what is happening with your younger brother in the company. You need to let them know about his lack of work and his attitude. I would also tell them that he has told people that he works with that he will get 20% of the company and he will then sell it on to you. Your brother thinks you are going to give a large sum of money in the future for this share and you don't want to be in put in this position.

I would get a copy of the documents which relate to setting up of the company. I would get legal advice from someone dealing with company law to find out what would happen in the business at the moment if anything was to happen to either of your parents.
I would not go to a local firm for this as you don't want your father to find out what you are doing until you know how you stand on a legal basis.
I would also find out if your parents could take out money from the business to fund a pension ect if they were to give you are share of the business.
Also for tax reasons it may be more benefical for you to get a share of the business now rather that when either of your parents die.

Once you get legal advice I would then speak to your mother and father about there plans.
I would let them know that you have got legal advice and what you have been told by the person advising you what would happen if either of them died suddenly.
I would tell them if they could take money from the business to fund a pension ect

Your father may be happy to leave things alone but you can't be working 70 hours a week to end up in a bad position if your father died suddenly. Also you don't want to find out your father has no will or that your brother is put in a position to get a large sum of money from the company where you are 70 hours a week.