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How can I overcome my shyness or get to know more people?

  • 23-02-2013 5:04pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm 19 ,I've had issues with shyness my whole life ,I've always been known as "the quiet one". All through school I used to find it hard to get to know others or some people just didn't like me for no reason at all. I'm not as shy/quiet anymore I'm usually friendly to everyone but I don't really "talk" to them . In college I'm on a male dominated course the class is small and there's only a few girls about 5. I don't really have the same interests as any of these girls or guys and they are much more extroverted than me. Some of the other girls just don't talk to me unless I talk to them . I get along with the more extroverted girls slightly more . Most of the girls on my course are "live for the weekend" party types and I'm not like that at all. I did talk to some of the guys at the start but I've become more shy again and haven't really spoken to them this semester apart from one guy . I just feel like I don't fit in with anyone .I have a presentation soon I chose to work alone rather than in a group. I always think others don't like me or the guys wouldn't want to talk to me because I'm not as fun as the other girls. Also there isn't really any societies I like I did join one before I liked the people but the society wasn't for me. Most breaks is spent in the SU I don't like it there too much as there's always loads of people there and I become very shy.

    I'm quite an independent girl and I find myself becoming more independent everyday
    I don't really have many friends or some friends have boyfriends and I never see them anymore so my weekends are normally spent indoors or my other hobbies are independent activities like the gym or going for walks. I go to clubs occasionally because no one really goes to the cinema or other outdoor fun activities.
    How can I overcome my shyness ? and gain more friends? I find myself more willing do do things on my own at the moment.


Comments

  • #2
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Heya,

    I'm male, just turned 30, and was also always 'the quiet one'. I was also called a 'corne boy', because I hid from everyone in the corner. During school, I hated sitting at the top of class - or in the middle row - because it meant that I was more 'exposed'.

    I'm a firm believe that there are positives in every negative, and also that we should never try to be someone that we are not... You are quiet and shy, and that's just who you are. Through working in an independent way and interacting only on a lesser level to others, you can gain an awful lot in life. People who are great team-workers don't always get far because they cannot think for themselves. Their progress and ambition in life is dominated by the progress and ambitions of those around them too.

    I remember really struggling with everything when I was around 23, but I then began meeting up with people in cafés as 'one-on-ones', and I also devoted more time to my studies. You run the risk of being called a 'nerd', but so what? You'd be the one who got far, academically.

    So, just to reiterate: never try to be someone else and be happy 'in your own skin', s they say. Let the others go out and party - it's definately not something for everyone. Do what makes you feel best.

    Take care
    Kevin


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